Are Cowboys Really Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other?
Columnist Felipe Oliveira doesn’t have time for sacred cows of country music, and the Willie Nelson song is no exception. You should also check out his essay in issue 2 of Rainbow Rodeo about respectability politics and queer country.
Are cowboys really frequently secretly fond of each other?
Although it might sound just like a funny little song at first, Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond Of Each Other reinforces several outdated misconceptions about gender and sexuality if you take a closer listen.
Regarded as the “gay country song” by those who know it, and for that reason covered by a variety of queer artists, the tune found new listeners with its latest rendition featuring Orville Peck and Willie Nelson. Nelson had already released his own solo version back in 2006, trying to surf on the wave of the Brokeback Mountain movie. Written in the 80s, the song was already 25 years old at that time, and is today a four-decade-old piece.
Maybe for that reason, the song presents some ideas that are not shared by the majority of LGBTQPIA+ people nowadays. While there are some valid attempts at shedding light on inclusivity and acceptance, it also poses some false conceptions.
For starters, the first verse blurs the distinction between sex/gender, and sexuality by referring to queer people as “somebody who falls between sexes”. That statement implies that every non-straight person is also gender non-conforming, which is simply not true. Although they can overlap for some people, sexual orientation is not inherently linked to gender identity.
Later on, the song also expresses that “inside every man there's a feminine” and “inside every lady there's a deep manly voice”, bringing up the essentialist idea that there are intrinsically male or female behavioral attributes. This notion overlooks the fact that many characteristics marked as male or female are in fact the results of cultural and social norms.
The chorus manages to bring the two misconceptions mentioned above and mix them up together. By stating that “inside every lady there's a cowboy who wants to come out and inside every cowboy there's a lady that'd love to slip out”, the song fails to recognize gender expression as a spectrum, solidifying the binary male/female view through the lady/cowboy distinction, making it impossible for someone to show predicates from both tropes without automatically falling under the label of sexual inadequacy.
Another dubious statement made in the song is that cowboys “who brag loudest are the ones that are most likely queer”. While it may be true that some people disguise their queerness by presenting prejudiced behavior, there are a lot of bigots whose perspective is solely based on ignorance and hatred. Focusing on someone’s supposed internalized homophobia may distract us from the harm they pose with their views and actions.
It’s not the end of the world to sing and listen to a song like this, but it’s also worth wondering if this is the message we wanna keep carrying for the next years and decades. In another forty years, is that the song that will still be covered by queer country artists? Will its message still be reproduced uncritically? Moreover, is the song written by a straight man the one we will still be choosing to represent the queer movement in country music? Only time will tell, but I’d rather think not.
[It's also hard to square the seemingly inclusive song with "Ain't Goin' Down on Brokeback Mountain," in which Willie sings "that shit ain't right." The song is from the same 2009 album, Lost Highways, that features "Cowboys." -- Rachel]
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Playlist
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Rainbow Roundup
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Events
9/13 - 9/15 (Chicago) — Lavender Prairie is a three-day queer country festival honoring Lavender Country. Read more here!
9/21 (Nashville) — The Wonder Women of Country Music will be playing the Grand Ole Opry!
10/3 (Harvard, MA) — Mary Gauthier leads a songwriting workshop and an evening of song with Jamee Harris at The Fruitlands Museum
10/19 (Philadelphia) — Baby’s First Rodeo is back at Johnny Brenda’s with Bobby Dove, Big Benny Bailey, and lesbian house band Fist City featuring Sam Rise and Brittany Ann Tranbaugh
10/17 - 10/20 (Texas) — Mary Gauthier, Jaimee Harris, and Carrie Rodriguez launch their Three Women & The Truth tour
Artist Resources
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Got a release coming up? Add it to Country Everywhere’s newsletter! Country Everywhere is a directory of artists and news for queer, BIPOC, and disabled artists.
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Are you on BlueSky? Queer country artist 2 AM Wake Up Call created this feed of musicians. You can ask them to be added to the feed!
I also made a Y’alltertantive Feed on Bluesky. Let me know if you’d like your posts to appear on the feed!
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Eli Conley is teaching Unlock the Song Inside: Beginning Songwriting Class for Queer & Trans Folks & Allies, and he also offers an online LGBTQ+ songwriter circle!
Are you on Mastodon or another part of the Fediverse? Get your music on RadioFreeFedi!
PS — If you’re thinking of joining Mastodon, make an account on musician.social and read my tips for making Mastodon work for you!
Submit your music and events to The Q LGBTQ Creative Network
This Twitter thread has a whole list of places to find jobs in the music industry
And here’s a list of resources for “women” entering the music industry — presumably they also encourage nonbinary participants
Submit your profile to the Country Everywhere which seeks to unite BIPOC, LGBTQ+, and disabled artists and professionals
Sign up to the Black Opry Revue’s interest form!
Check out the weekly Queerfolk Fest show in Nashville