Question Mark Town Roundup for the week of 4/15 - 4/21
Town Announcements
BE READY TO BLIND YOURSELF BEFORE THE ARRANGER’S APPROACH!
TIME HAS STOPPED!
THE END IS UPON US!
PREPARE YOURSELF!
THE TIME OF THE ARRANGER IS AT HAND!
Q-0 A-∞-V-0 2-44-*-X-X-0-1 44-8-12-0
FOR THOSE WISE ENOUGH AND STRONG ENOUGH, FOLLOW THE ORDER OF THE ARRANGER IN THE TIME YOU HAVE LEFT.
Performance of Haydn’s Cello Concerto in C STILL ON Tomorrow
Based on the number of emails my office has received, I want to confirm that tomorrow’s cello concert by our very own Nanako Yakamoto will go on as planned at 12pm in the Town Square, just outside our beloved Willey Clocktower, regardless of whatever ridiculous tragedy, disaster, catastrophe, or apocalypse might occur. Negative thinking has never gotten a person anywhere.
Yes, buildings are still blinking in and out of existence on occasion. Yes, the sky does still have a barely-noticeable red tone. Yes, just yesterday some hoodlums placed some sort of vague warning into our Town Announcements (we will be reviewing our policies regarding open posting of announcements at the next possible moment). But in spite of all these ongoing travesties, I still demand a place for the sublime, the sophisticated, the beautiful.
Of course, some may say the world is ending—but isn’t the world always ending? It’s art, it’s music, it’s culture that helps us find our way through. And I would rather be the mayor of a town on the brink of destruction that honors such great works than continue to bow to fear, panic, and irrationality.
If you are planning on attending, please wear appropriate attire or you will be forcibly removed. No beach chairs.
Posted by Mayor Elizabeth Zisk on April 19, 2024
Suspicious Activity Leads to Destruction of Willey Clocktower
To be honest, I had hoped it was going to be a quiet Saturday, despite all of ongoing disruptions this week. I made my way down to the town square just outside the Willey Clocktower to see Nanako Yakamoto play her cello and saw she was going to perform Haydn’s Cello Concerto in C, which is not a piece of music I am familiar with, so was delighted to hear something new. Everyone was sitting in these metal folding chairs and I thought how beautiful it was, all these people, sitting in there joined together in silence and community and how magical the beginning of a concert was, the feeling that anything could happen.
And then.
And then there was the melody from the Willey Clocktower at noon followed by a frightening clang and I turned and got a feeling something terrible was about to happen.
And then it really did.
I have seen some things over the last year in this town but nothing like this.
As of now, please stay clear of the Willey Clocktower and the town square until further notice.
Posted by Gus Holt, Question Mark Chief of Police on April 20, 2024
Read all our Town Announcements.
Community Notes
4-15-2024
My Dear Citizens of Question Mark,
Greetings. On Saturday, as many of you know, the town faced its very real end. Our beloved town prevailed however. Due to the efforts of a very few determined citizens, we managed to survive. But our hour of danger is not over. Yesterday, several additional buildings fell into the widening chasm including the post office and Fancy Dress Resale Shop. Everyone must now look deep into their hearts and ask the most important question anyone can ask: what could I have done to have prevented this?
Some of us may choose to pass the blame onto the Question Mark Police Department or the Fire Department. We must look inward however, recognizing our own individual culpability. Each of these institutions have made mistakes in the past, yes. Each of these institutions are staffed by humans with their own propensity for failure. The plain truth is that only dreamers and fools would expect to be saved by them at this point.
Granted, in spite and because of these enormous institutional failures, some other citizens have been forced to step forward. Even high school schoolers–Violet Bookman and Iris Englebrecht–both without degrees have participated in saving this town again and again. Ron Dublowski, QM Police Officer, must also be commended for foiling what otherwise would have destroyed everything we hold dear. And in the very final moment of our near-downfall, Assistant Librarian Gerald Ames, who happened to find his way into the middle of a scene of mortal danger, sacrificed himself for the greater good of our community. Let us look inward and remember Gerald and his ferocious courage. Do not despair in his death; let us see it as inspiration for each of us to become a more brave, more surprising, more complicated version of ourselves.
Mayor Elizabeth Zisk
Crime Reports
April 20
12:13 p.m. — Town Square, disturbance of peace and destruction of public property. Several onlookers reported a large chasm forming in the middle of town square which led to the widespread destruction of several adjacent buildings including the bandstand and Willey Clocktower. Officers B. Lindholm, T. Holland, and R. Dublowski reported to the scene.
April 20
12:00 p.m. — Main Street and Tower Avenue, suspicious activity at Willey Clocktower. Several onlookers reported cult-like activity at the Willey Clocktower. Officers R. Dublowski reported to the scene.
April 19
2:12 p.m. — No single address. Multiple reports of buildings missing. Several Question Mark residents reported several buildings appearing and disappearing throughout town. Officer D. Holland, T. Holland, B. Lindholm, and R. Dublowski reported to multiple scenes.
April 18
8:57 a.m. — No single address. Multiple reports of trees disappearing. Several Question Mark residents reported missing trees of many different varieties throughout town including oak, maple, elm, and river birch. Officer D. Holland, T. Holland, B. Lindholm, and R. Dublowski reported to multiple scenes.
April 17
5:15 p.m. — No single address. Multiple reports of disappearances of hair brushes, curling irons, and hair dryers. Several Question Mark residents reported missing hair care products throughout town. Officer D. Holland, T. Holland, B. Lindholm, and R. Dublowski reported to multiple scenes.
April 17
2:21 p.m. — No single address. Multiple reports of tooth brushes missing. Several Question Mark residents reported many toothbrushes appearing and disappearing. Officer D. Holland, T. Holland, B. Lindholm, and R. Dublowski reported to multiple scenes.
April 16
2:12 p.m. — No single address. Multiple reports of statues appearing and disappearing. Several Question Mark residents reported multiple disappearances of several lawn statues including deer, gnomes, elves, and many types of religious statuary. Officer D. Holland, T. Holland, B. Lindholm, and R. Dublowski reported to multiple scenes.
April 15
7:12 p.m. — No single address. Multiple reports of disappearances of beds. Several Question Mark residents reported missing single, twin, queen, and king beds throughout town. Officer D. Holland, T. Holland, B. Lindholm, and R. Dublowski reported to multiple scenes.
Read all our Crime Reports.
Upcoming Events
May 4, 2024
New Tomorrow Industries presents: The Eightcelerator final test. 12pm.
New Tomorrow Industrial Park
See all our Upcoming Events
Did You Know?
Our mayor Elizabeth Zisk is the longest-serving public official in Question Mark History! As she hopes you know, she loves you and this town more than life itself.