Question Mark Town Roundup for the week of 10/30 - 11/5
Town Announcements
Night school for ghosts and other disappeared persons
As the disappearances of persons in town seem to grow along with the recent discovery of the remains of the ninety-nine child workers who died in the Ames Rifle Factory fire, I feel it is my responsibility to provide educational opportunities for all, regardless of their state of material being.
If you or anyone you know has a missing loved one under the age of eighteen, I will be holding night classes for all ghosts and other disappeared persons on Monday evenings, from 7pm-9pm, covering topics as far-ranging as U.S. history, poetry, and drama in my 3rd grade classroom. I welcome this opportunity to learn more about these unique students and help them find their place in our community.
By the end of this first term, it is my goal to helps these students write their own stories and perform a short play based on their experiences.
Thank you to Gary Dublowski for his technical assistance and translation efforts.
Posted by Holly Peterson, Third Grade Teacher on October 31, 2023
Yes, The Void is slightly louder but our opportunities continue to expand!
While this town has seemed beset by minor setbacks, one thing has remained constant: Opportunity. The great opportunity offered by The Void, that remarkable glowing phenomenon in the woods that has brought economic vitality back to our, honestly, often-mediocre burg.
And yes, as of today, there are many reports of loud sounds and vibrations emanating from The Void, which although slightly unnerving, will not impede this town’s economic revitalization.
Have you never gone on a roller coaster? Are not all theme parks incredibly noisy? What some call "noise" I call the sound of progress. One must ask just how sensitive everyone in this town has become.
Instead of closing down this beloved attraction that has brought positive attention to our town at a time that so many dwell on the negative, we will continue to welcome visitors and look for additional ways to secure economic prosperity for Question Mark and its citizens.
To mark this remarkable, amplified, change to The Void, we are offering $1 off the purchase of a bumper sticker with the code LOUDERHUM throughout the month of November. While one dollar may not seem like a lot, as my beloved Thompson used to say "a dollar saved is a dollar you can turn into a thousand by reinvesting in your downline."
Posted by Mayor Elizabeth Zisk on November 2, 2023
In memory, Professor Everard Bright
Several of my aides have encouraged me to write this post regarding today’s passing of Professor Everard Bright, who, as it has been relayed to me, was a professor and researcher from the University of Cincinnati and who, I am also told, was writing a book about cults in the state of Ohio, certainly a book I would not have time to read.
I do not know what brought this Cincinnati academic to our town, but judging from the brief moment that I spent looking at his research, it is clear that he was asking questions that perhaps a person should not ask. If nothing else, let this loss be a reminder that dark corners are dark for a reason.
That said, it has also been reported Professor Everbright died due to an allergic reaction caused by several dozen bee stings, which is sad, odd, and unfortunate, but certainly not out of the realm of natural occurrences, and of no cause for suspicion. I often found myself telling Thompson that bees and other insects belong to an order few of us understand.
I imagine there will be a memorial service at some point as that is something we seem to do a lot of lately, whether the deceased warrant it or not. But whatever it takes to move onward.
Posted by Mayor Elizabeth Zisk on November 3, 2023
Read all our Town Announcements.
Community Notes
To all Question Mark citizens,
Tomorrow, Tuesday, November 7th, marks an important day in the cycle of government in our town. On the ballot you will be asked to vote on a replacement member for the Town Council, a referendum on building a skating ring, and a proposed amendment to the Ohio state constitution.
In order to vote in this year’s local election, please drop your ballot at the drop boxes located at Question Mark High School or Veterans’ Hall between the hours of 7am-7pm. Or you may use our automated voting system here in your inbox, a parting gift from my dear friend Tom Childs.
(Tom, I look at that empty seat and wonder where you are and if you know how much you are missed? Do you know I tried to sing “Sweet Caroline” in your honor last week at karaoke at Veterans Hall and, by God, I got choked up halfway through. I had to walk off even though my wife, Ann, told me to keep going. Finally, at the end there, I got my courage back and finished the song. But, boy, it was a trial. Can you be close friends with someone and not know it ‘til they’re gone? I went by the carwash the other day and thought I saw your ghost but it was just a teenager dressed as the ghost of Steven Spielberg.)
To test our email voting system, as it was still being finalized when our dear Tom was taken from us, we are running a test vote today. To help us test our system, please select one of the two options below.
Now I'm hungry!
I look forward to an orderly, civil Election Day.
—Tom Weathers, Town Council
Crime Reports
November 4
3:05 p.m. - 4500 County Route 54, trespassing. Question Mark residents Glenn Warner, Art Compton, and Owen Brandt were discovered in condemned building. Cache of explosives on premises. Investigation ongoing. Officer R. Dublowski reported to scene.
November 3
12:17 p.m. — County Route 54 and Grand Avenue, body discovered. A 43-year-old person was found dead in his motel room, with an apparent cause of death by multiple bee stings. Officer T. Holland reported to scene.
We are asking the people of Question Mark for any leads regarding the homicide of one Tom Childs on October 14.
Please continue to distribute missing persons fliers to help notify the public about the disappearance of Quentin Quinn.
Read all our Crime Reports.
Upcoming Events
November 7, 2023
Election Day. Please drop off your ballots at our dropboxes or vote online via our Town Announcement newsletter. Be sure to sign up.
Question Mark High School and Veterans Hall
November 10, 2023
Veteran’s Day (observed). Please celebrate our fellow citizens who have served by participating in this annual parade and several lengthy reenactments. 3pm.
British Soldier Field
November 15, 2023
The Question Mark Town Dump presents the 12th Annual Scavenger Hunt. Tetanus shots highly recommended. 4pm.
Town Garbage Dump
See all our Upcoming Events
Did You Know?
Question Mark’s first local election was held on Tuesday, November 2, 1852, with a sweeping victory by the Whig Party over the local Ohio Anti-Masonic Party. Unfortunately, three people were killed during the festivities that followed.