Question Mark Town Roundup for the week of 10/2 - 10/8
Town Announcements
Visit The Void!
As many of you now know, there was much excitement over the weekend when some erratic, know-it-all adolescents discovered a somewhat-interesting, possibly scientific, phenomenon. First of all, let me say there is no cause for alarm. Chief Holt has stated categorically that the phenomenon is harmless, at least from a distance of six feet. Anyone fool enough to get any closer should expect to get what they deserve.
On Sunday, I met with the town council and we decided to use this exciting discovery as an opportunity for exponential economic growth for our town, ignoring pleas from the plebian scientific community for serious, methodical inquiry.
Today, it is my pleasure to announce that we are launching Visit the Void! as a town-wide initiative to boost tourism and to attract outside investment in what is, let’s be honest, a rather middling community on the verge of both economic and psychological collapse.
Over the last forty-eight hours, we have been incredibly busy: building a road to better access this remarkable opportunity, removing an ungainly stack of refrigerators from the garbage dump in order to create the Thompson Zisk Memorial Parking Lot, setting up a website and ticketing system, and printing eye-catching bumper stickers, which residents are strongly encouraged to display on their late-model, clean, automobiles.
I honestly believe it is moments like this where the future is created by bright individuals who have a sense of vision. So, to members of our business community, please contact me with your biggest and boldest ideas and other marketing initiatives regarding this latest financial opportunity.
Posted by Mayor Elizabeth Zisk on October 3, 2023
Another update from my research on cults in Ohio
Your town once again features prominently in my latest research, which is, of course, good and bad news.
Suffice to say, after this week’s building collapse, which, from a researcher’s perspective seems rather purposeful, things are looking, shall we say, difficult in Question Mark cult-wise.
But please know that whatever happens, I am here, staying at the Question Mark Motel, ready to document it all, right up until the point where there’s nothing left. Which, to be honest, is generally what tends to happen in this type of situation. All my experience in such matters points to a confrontation of dire proportions, but who’s to say?
I direct you to my research page for further investigation.
Posted by Everard Bright, Professor, Emphasis on Cult Studies on October 6, 2023
Please audition for my latest serious horror/cultural criticism masterpiece
Greetings Cinephiles of Question Mark!
It is I, William Higgland Jr. accomplished director of films such as The Possessed Doll and The Possessed Mirror and I am about to embark on my latest opus and have an opportunity for you .
Auditions will be held tomorrow, Sunday, Oct 8th at 12pm at Question Mark Video for The Becoming, my spine-tingling, nightmarish depiction of a small town confronting an otherworldly being living in the nearby woods. The film will be shot entirely in Question Mark. All roles are being considered.
You may download a copy of the script here.
At this stage, please know I am not looking for notes, questions, or comments on the script. Believe me, it has been workshopped to death (a little horror scriptwriter pun, ha ha.)
Please read these sides and come prepared with a headshot, resume, and your own fake blood. Actors will be compensated with a credit in the production and two tickets to a local viewing, presumably at Question Mark Video. If you are unable to attend tomorrow's audition, I accept auditions over the telephone by calling the video store at (740) 276-3107 and selecting two. Please rehearse your lines in advance.
Also, now through October 31, Question Mark Video is offering a "Scare-O-Ween Special" on all our horror titles. Two for one rentals!
See you on the silver screen!
Read all our Town Announcements.
Community Notes
Attention people of Question Mark—
I am very pleased to announce that, as of last night, Cucumis Quaestio, a marvelous, one-of-a-kind, bioluminescent specimen engineered in our own labs, has been safely returned to the Experimental Crop Station.
I recognize Q-eey’s presence in the larger Question Mark community has been an inconvenience for some and a distraction for others, but I must stress that at no time was anyone in town in actual danger. I understand the specimen did create minor property damage throughout town and the ECS is happy to reimburse any owner at their earliest convenience as long as they are able to provide us with accompanying documentation.
We feel privileged to be able to continue to operate with the town’s continued support as evidenced by yesterday’s well-attended Irregular Fall Harvest, where we were excited to see Ms. Sarah Wanstead take home this year’s grand prize, a perpetually flowering squash, Cucurbita Novis. Please enjoy, Sarah, and, at no time, allow children or animals anywhere near this magnificent plant.
—Dr. George Yakamoto
Crime Reports
October 7
8:22 p.m. — East Avenue and Zisk Way, assault. A 17-year-old Question Mark woman reported being attacked by several unknown assailants in the Question Mark Woods. Officer R. Dublowski reported to scene.
October 4
2:25 p.m. — East Avenue and 20th Street, suspected detonation of an explosive device. Employees from the Greenberg Yarn factory reported an explosion emanating from the recently-repaired sinkhole that upended the building. Nearby Willey Envelope was also affected by the blast. Officers T. Holland and D. Holland reported to scene.
Please continue to distribute missing persons fliers to help notify the public about the disappearance of Quentin Quinn.
Read all our Crime Reports.
Upcoming Events
October 14, 2023
Eclipse Viewing Event Bring your own viewers or make your own at the Question Mark Public Library. 12pm
British Soldier Field
October 29, 2023
Halloween Fun Fest and Trick or Treat Parade. Please be mindful and choose an appropriate costume and please remember that no one is allowed to dress as Thompson Zisk. 3pm
Town Square
October 31, 2023
Halloween Read-a-Thon Please join the QMPL staff for an all-ages reading of Bunnicula followed by Silence of the Lambs. 3pm
Question Mark Public Library
See all our Upcoming Events
Did You Know?
The University of Ohio Experimental Crop Station is responsible for the largest known pumpkin, weighing in at approximately 28,019 pounds, according to a 2022 Guinness World Record.