July 24, 2024, 3 a.m.
"You aren't even your own priority" - Your Postpartum Stories
Sharing your postpartum voice - July 2024
Postpartum Matters
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I am so hugely grateful to you for being here.
Welcome to our regular monthly segment where I share your postpartum experiences and hold space for our stories to be shared and witnessed.
Since sharing my postpartum experience back in 2021, I have gathered hundreds of stories of women’s pain, resilience and power. I want to share them here, in their own little home on my Substack, you can read the rest here. I also want to invite you to share your experience here too. You can use this Google form to share as much or as little of your experience as you wish, you can share publicly or be anonymous, whatever you feel comfortable with.
I’d love to hear from you, your voice is important and I’d be honored to share it.
Some of the stories shared below are hard to read, please be gentle with yourself and consider your personal circumstances. If you are able though, I do believe that they need to be witnessed and shared. By all of us, not just new mothers. It is only by fully seeing a problem that we can have any hope of changing it and the lack of postpartum care in the UK is a huge problem.
“I think that there should be more breastfeeding support readily available. It should not just be something that is done over the phone or via text. I think all babies should have an assessment from a physio or an osteopath to check for tension following delivery.
“I just feel you are literally left to it as soon as the baby pops out. Baby has loads of checks (which is right) but no one seems to care about you anymore! The six week check up at the GP is a joke!! This should be done by someone who is an expert on postnatal care. She even told me I wouldn't get pregnant if breastfeeding which I knew wasn't true. My stitches tore on the 2nd day at home after the birth and my 2nd degree tear had opened back up. I had no idea what to do! I had a gp appt and she told me it didn't look right (thanks, I knew that) and did eventually get referred on only to be told it was too late to do anything due to scar tissue and that it would have to heal itself? Gross. Noone warns you about the state you will be in once you give birth! It's all labour focused, as if that's the end goal. We need more support and someone that can care for us when we need it the most. First time having a baby you have no idea what's just hit you. What's normal or not. You aren't even your own priority.”
“My baby was in the nicu. I was kicked out on day three and just left to pump around the clock at home or at his bedside. No support. My first son had an undiagnosed 90% tongue tie that actually led to a bout of postnatal psychosis due to staying up with him for a week, day and night to establish feeding.”
“I think grief counselling for your old life should be given. That's one of the hardest things to come to terms with through sleep deprivation and a new way of life. Nothing can prepare you for it.”
“Doctors not doing face to face appointments doesn’t help. My 6 week check up was on the phone and lasted less than 5 mins with the main focus being my baby. 3 months after birth no one has checked how I’ve healed despite a difficult birth with interventions and a major haemorrhage.”
“My first postpartum was different, I wish someone went over my birth with me as I had PND and had a traumatic birth. Going over what had happened may have helped me but I didn't know this at the time. I had an episiotomy during my most recent birth and the doctor did my stitches too tight and left a flap of loose skin. I'm now 4 months postpartum and I'm still feeling uncomfortable and I'm having issues with intercourse. I wish a pelvic floor specialist was available through the NHS so that I could get the care I need. We need easier access to mental health care as we are taking care of tiny babies, actual human beings who we have been entrusted with and we NEED to be at our best for them, how can we take care of them without being taken care of ourselves”
“Consider the care of mothers who return back to hospital with their children or whose children spend long periods in nicu before fully healing - my baby was readmitted to hospital on day 10 and I was not able to see a midwife at all despite being in a hospital. We were in the hospital from day 10 to 5 weeks. I had to leave my child's bedside to go to a walk-in clinic for a suspected infection.”
Thank you so much for witnessing those stories today ❤️.
Here’s a beautiful photo to bring you back to centre ~
If you are struggling postnatally, please do reach out for support - you can find the timetable of free events at The Women’s Health Hub here - even if we can’t find a simple solution, we can still hold space for you.
Other amazing organisations which provide support are Make Birth Better, Birth Trauma Association and Know Your Floors. You can also write to your MP to ask for better postpartum care and to highlight some of the issues raised in today’s post. You can find who your local MP is and how to contact them via this link here.
I would love it so much if you would restack these stories or forward the email on to others to raise awareness and to open up conversations around postpartum care.
Thank you so much for being here.
Until next time,
