Subject: Reflections Overcoming Imposter Syndrome & Teaching Community

Dear Friends,

Last week, I spoke at the Doula UK conference — my first ever paid speaking gig. To say I was nervous would be an understatement.

Not just because of my complicated feelings around the organisation as a whole but also with imposter syndrome… Seeing my name alongside such huge names in the birth-world as Katie James and Lyndsey Hookway. This had me questioning whether I belonged there.

My presentation didn’t come with lots of heavy references or information - it was based on community connection and quite simple, often devalued ideas. What if it wasn’t professional enough? What if my words didn’t land?

I needn’t have worried and the response was lovely. Thoughtful comments, kind feedback, and a real sense of connection on the call.

It reminded me why this work matters and why these conversations are so important. Particularly in spaces where the depth of this issue may not be being considered.

Community as Care: The Heart of My Talk

At its core, my talk was about the essential role of peer support in pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. Community isn’t just a ‘nice-to-have’ — it’s the foundation of wellbeing.

We often focus on physical and mental health, but what about social health*? What about the quiet, everyday acts of support that hold us up?

Checking in on a friend. Sitting with a struggling new parent. Being the person who asks, “How are you really doing?”.

And having people in your life who offer you that same connection.

These moments aren’t just acts of kindness; they are the fabric of strong communities. And when we prioritise them, we shift the culture around care.

Whole-Community Care: Creating Inclusive, Sustainable Support Networks

A truly supportive community isn’t just about one group helping each other — it’s about an interconnected web of care where everyone has a role to play.

Whole-community care means moving beyond isolated support networks and ensuring that care is embedded within our everyday environments. It’s about recognising that exhausted people supporting other exhausted people isn’t sustainable—we need systems that lift the whole community.

A key part of this is genuine diversity and inclusion.

Awareness alone isn’t enough; true inclusion comes from centering lived experiences and allowing people to shape the spaces they need, rather than imposing structures based on assumptions.

A strong, resilient community is one where everyone—regardless of background, ability, or circumstance—feels seen, valued, and supported in ways that are meaningful to them. And is empowered, themselves, to make a difference in their community.

But what does community really mean to each of us? And how can we be more intentional in fostering it?

Try These Exercises at Home

During the talk, I led some reflective exercises to help attendees explore their own communities and identify ways to strengthen them. If you’d like to try them yourself, here they are:

1. Mapping Your Community

Take a moment to think about who makes up your community. It’s not just family or close friends—it’s the people you interact with in small but meaningful ways. Your neighbour who checks in, the barista who knows your order, an online friend who messages when you’ve been quiet.

Activity:

• Grab a piece of paper and draw yourself in the centre.

• Start close—write down the people you interact with most: family, friends, colleagues.

• Expand outward—add those smaller but meaningful connections: shopkeepers, local group members, other parents at school gates.

• Use different colours or symbols to show who supports you, who you support, and where those relationships overlap.

Reflection:

• How does your community map make you feel?

• Is it as full as you’d like it to be? Are there gaps?

• Did anyone come to mind that you hadn’t considered before?

2. Exploring Local Resources

Once you’ve mapped out your personal support network, it’s useful to look at what’s available in your wider community.

Activity:

• Take your community map and add in any local resources that provide connection and support.

• These could be parent groups, feeding support, mental health services, or even social spaces like craft groups or walking clubs.

• If you’re unsure what exists, your first step might be to find out.

Reflection:

• Are there gaps in your local community support?

• If so, what’s missing? What kind of resources or groups would be helpful?

• Is there a way you could contribute to filling those gaps, even in a small way?

3. Envisioning the Future of Your Community

Let’s take it a step further—what would a truly supportive community look like if there were no barriers (money, time, resources)?

Activity:

• Imagine your ideal version of community care. Write down or draw what it would look like.

• What types of spaces do you wish existed for connection and care?

• If you could add one resource or support system to your local area, what would it be?

• How could different generations or groups support each other more?

This is about dreaming big, but also about recognising the small changes that could make a real difference.

Final Thoughts

Speaking at the conference was an experience that pushed me outside my comfort zone, but I’m so glad I did it. It was a reminder that even when we doubt ourselves, there’s value in sharing our perspectives.

If you’ve ever hesitated to step forward—whether to speak, to start something new, or to claim your place in a space that matters to you — I hope this is your sign to do it anyway.

Because your voice matters. Your work matters. And we need you in this conversation.

Let’s keep building the village together. 💛

With warmth and gratitude,

*P.S. Do check out this fab Ted Talk by Kasley Killam about social health if you’re curious about the concept