Our stories matter, our trauma matters

“My 6 week check up was postponed due to ‘Covid’ and moved back to be as part of my baby’s 8 week vaccination appointment. I had a c section. My son had his vaccinations & I was dismissed … I had to request for my wound to be checked.”

“There needs to be consistency with care. Seeing lots of different people who are unfamiliar with your case doesn’t give mothers the time to feel safe to ask awkward questions. Also, sometimes the awkward questions need to be asked directly rather than brought up by the birth mother”

“Nobody talked to me about my horrendous birth experience. They checked on a survey if I had postnatal depression - but I didn't. I had PTSD. I still can't watch anything on tv about birthing without having a panic attack. Nobody spoke to me about how to get help with the after effects of one of the most horrific things of my life - but I think that is because no one wanted to admit anything went wrong and no one wanted to get in to who was to 'blame'. I almost didn't have my daughter because I was too afraid to birth again. But I got brave and forced myself to do it again. A totally different hospital and elective c section was a better option. Postpartum care was less needed on the second one as I had less trauma and me and baby were healthy and recovering well.”

“For me it wasn't so much the stitches from my episiotomy, although that was completely terrifying. It was that my baby couldn't latch at all and then by the time she did she had bacterial infections everywhere due to actually having a congenital disorder that wasn't known about. When my baby got ill and had to have a life saving operation at 2 weeks old, I was still healing, I wasn't able to breastfeed and I didn't have a single person that checked in on me and my postpartum care. I had no advice from a single person. I felt alone and afraid and didn't really know where to go or who to talk to.”

“I literally had 0 support . Baby would not latch, I had 0 support with regards to that. Also I had stitches and I did not have one professional look at that.”

“I have so much respect for the midwives who looked after me during my labour and delivery of my first child. However I now know that key things were missed that could have stopped my situation being so traumatic. I had an emergency c-section due to the baby's heart rate dipping during an non progressive labour. As far as I was concerned, the operation went well as my baby was delivered and was healthy. The consultant came to my room the next day, stood at the door, asked me how I was and then left. Not even 1 minute of aftercare. We were discharged and went home. On day 11 I had a wound infection that my health visitor picked up and arranged antibiotics for-she was amazing! I was in a lot of pain but enjoying my baby bubble. My postpartum bleeding was heavy and had never stopped, this was now week 5. My stomach was still very swollen, I just thought I had to adjust to my new body. At 5 and a half weeks postpartum I had a massive bleed, constant gushing for minutes, bathroom floor, walls etc. Horrific. I didn’t know who to phone so called the midwives! They told me they couldn’t advise me due to me being discharged from their care but it was most likely my first period. I knew this was not the case. The next week was spent going between my gp and A&E. I also had another 2 serious bleeding episodes in this time. Finally I was given an ultrasound. The radiographer was openly shocked and told me to prepare for being admitted. I had a large piece of retained placenta still with me and several large clots had formed around it. I spent the next 2 nights in hospital, after witnessing one of my horrific bleeds I was put back to maternity (hurrah!) where I was put in a delivery suite, hooked up to a drip to induce labour and I had to deliver/be scrapped out 6 weeks after birth!! All I had was gas and air and thankfully my wonderful mother!!

I did receive a verbal apology from my surgeon. It still pains me that on my notes the placenta was described as ragged and he thought there might be some left inside. It still pains me that this information was not passed on at the initial handover to the next shift. It still pains me that this information was not passed onto me. It still pains me that a very traumatic week for my whole family could have been resolved a lot quicker or avoided completely.

2 years and 9 months later (March 2020!) I gave birth at the same hospital and was cared for by some of the same midwives. My experience was amazing. But I was informed, clear, asked questions, and challenged things. I was still discharged on day 10 by midwives but due to the pandemic (that was so new and oh so scary!) we saw them at home for longer than usual. We were incredibly lucky that in our area health visitors decided to still do newborn visits.

Like so many other publicly funded bodies…these services rely on the goodwill of their employees to function at the most basic level.”