Hi love 🌸,
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Closing the Bones Training—Processing, Learning, Healing
I’ve been sitting with a lot after this weekend. I did my Closing the Bones training, and honestly, I’m still processing everything that came up for me. It was one of the most powerful experiences I’ve had, and I wanted to share a little of it with you — figure it out through writing, really.
If you haven’t heard of Closing the Bones before, it’s a ceremony with Mexican roots, traditionally used to support new mothers in the postpartum period. The “closing” part is about bringing the body back together after birth, after that huge transition, bringing baby into the world. But Sophie Messager, who I trained with, has been working with this practice for all sorts of life transitions —loss, menopause, divorce—those big shifts that can leave us feeling fragmented.
And that’s what really drew me to it. So much of my work is supporting women+ through their big life transitions, in that in-between, liminal space where things feel unsteady. Learning this practice feels like holding out my hands and saying, I see you. I’m here. Let’s gather you back together.
My Own Body, My Own Healing
I’ve had chronic pelvic pain since the birth of my second child in 2020. It’s felt impossible to manage—like nothing would ever help.
I used to run long distances, do high-impact workouts, CrossFit. But after everything I went through in that first year postpartum, I couldn’t access movement in the same way. I started running again in December—slowly, carefully — just two or three miles a few times a week. Then, last week, my right hip pain flared up so badly I could barely climb the stairs. Turning over in bed was agony. I felt really low about it, like my body was never going to be mine again.
Then, on the first day of training, we were learning how to wrap the pelvis, how to do the abdominal massage that’s part of the ceremony. I had three different women work on me that day. And by the evening, so much of my pain was gone. Just… gone.
I feel emotional even writing that. I had gotten so used to pain, to just coping, that I didn’t believe anything could shift it. But last weekend has shown me that it can be shifted. It can be moved and made right again.
I can do more than just cope.
And now I get to show that to other people, too.
The Fear of Letting Go
There’s a part of the ceremony where you’re wrapped in a series of rebozo and rocked — your arms, your legs, your pelvis. When it was my turn, I found it so hard to let go. My arms kept wanting to help, to move with the rocking rather than just receive it. It took real effort to surrender, to let someone else hold me.
And I think that’s something a lot of us struggle with. Letting ourselves be cared for. Not doing, just being held.
I feel this is something I need to explore more within myself, but is also something I need to consider when working with others. Life transitions are, in themselves, an act of surrender, of letting go, and I know I find this hard.
And so I wonder if we work together to feel more comfortable receiving gentle touch and care from one another then, maybe we will be able to weather the harder stuff with more ease too?
Touch as Connection
Another thing that really hit me was how powerful it was to give and receive touch.
I don’t usually have much physical contact in my work. Even as a doula, I tend to guide partners rather than using my own hands. I hold space. I don’t get involved.
But this — this was different.
I was massaging people. I was being massaged. I was looking them in the eye, listening to their breath, feeling them soften under my hands. It wasn’t like a Western massage where you strip off, lie face-down, and the therapist works in silence. This was relationship. This was feedback, connection, trust.
And when it came to my stomach — wow. I don’t think I’ve ever had my belly touched with that much care. Maybe not even by myself.
Think about it — when was the last time you really, lovingly placed your hands on your own stomach? Not with criticism, not with shame — just care?
Having seven different women touch and hold and honour that part of me — it was huge.
Let’s Talk
I’d love to hear from you. Have you experienced Closing the Bones? Do you have a favourite form of healing touch? How does your body respond to being held, massaged, supported?
And if you’re local, I need people to practise on! For the next few months, I’ll be offering sessions on a pay-what-you-feel basis while I settle into this work. If you’d like to be part of that, get in touch - you can reply directly to this email 😊.
I can’t wait to share more of this journey with you.
Sending love,
