Mini Piffanies About Zack Snyder's Justice League
While the situation revolving around paid newsletter platforms continues to evolve, so I’m not any closer to making this Substack paid as of yet, please enjoy this little morsel of movie meandering…
While some film critics wonder and worry about the precedent set by Warner Media caving to fan demands to #ReleaseTheSnyderCut of 2017’s Justice League, I have other questions. Not necessarily deeper or more significant questions, but nagging notions nevertheless. Among them…
Zack Snyder really did think he could film DC’s superheroes in an epic saga as if they were cosplaying The Lord of the Rings. There’s not only a backstory Wonder Woman narrates that essentially confirms that already, but also Snyder himself saying this in multiple interviews: “It was meant to be like Lord Of The Rings and not a one-off. That's the way I think about it.”
Without getting into the mother boxes versus infinity stones which-came-first, which-is-better debate, somehow I’m left wondering if every planet has its own trio of magical mother boxes, or whether the only three boxes exist on Earth, and how convenient is that?
While we’re still getting a Flash spin-off movie, there’s no need for a stand-alone Cyborg movie since it’s all in this four-hour opus.
There’s something magically delicious about this Lucky Charm of a mega-movie in that it somehow managers to take place both BEFORE and AFTER the events of the 2018 Aquaman movie!
Speaking of Aquaman, all hail Jason Momoa, for he deserves our praise. But he’s supposed to be most helpful in aquatic-based situations, and after saving his fellow heroes from getting soaked once, he spends the remainder of his time in ZSJL soaring through the air and kicking butt on the ground? Comic book nerds may tell me Aquaman has super-strength, but it still feels like he’s too much man and not enough aqua here. Even if he swims in denim.
Speaking even more about Aquaman, he’s always pounding down the booze. Is he an alcoholic? Does it affect his abilities? Can superheroes have addictions? Pleased don’t make me watch Hancock or consider it canon. I remember Iron Man’s Tony Stark is an alcoholic, although the Marvel Cinematic Universe pretty much ignored that.
If ZSJL played at normal speed and ditched the slo-mo sequences, then it might clock in at a more reasonable running time.
So, the anti-life equation. Steppenwolf sucked at math otherwise he could’ve solved it right then and there, right? You don’t call it an equation unless it’s a math problem. Someone get me Steppenwolf’s SAT scores! No wonder he was on Darkseid’s dark side.
The 21st century has seen either a renaissance or glut of superhero movies. Perhaps both. At a certain point — for me, it came during The Matrix sequels — you stop caring about the fight sequences. Not just because it’s all CGI. But because there’s a distinct lack of suspense. Even when a hero dies, the other heroes eventually find a way to bring the hero back. Unless the actor playing the hero is done play-acting and no longer under contract, of course.
No wonder the MCU tried to make us forget about Captain Marvel during The Avengers: Endgame. When you have a hero powerful enough to save the world, how are you supposed to maintain two or three hours of narrative intrigue?
Which makes it not surprising — AT ALL — that most superhero movies have to put an ordinary human loved one in harm’s way to provide the climatic plot point for our hero(es). Can you save them all? If not, how do you choose?
When casual fans talk about Marvel movies versus DC movies, they usually focus on how the DC movies never seem to match the fun of the MCU. The DC movies? Too dark. Too somber. But there’s also a distinct difference separating the key superheroes of the DC universe from those in Marvel Comics. Marvel heroes came later than DC, during the Atomic Age, with many of them created thanks to science or magical accidents (except for Thor, who’s from another planet). Iron Man, Captain America, The Hulk, Black Widow, Hawkeye, The Falcon and The Winter Soldier, Spider-Man, Ant Man, Wanda and Vision, Black Panther. Humans changed by outside forces, by and large, and mostly large. DC’s heroes, the biggest of whom showed up just before and during World War II, often are either orphaned and/or have parental issues. Superman and Wonder Woman are close to Gods by birth. They and Batman are above it all, looking down on us as society’s protectors. Superman is an orphan and a lone survivor of his planet; Batman, orphaned and used his massive inheritance to develop his adult plan of action; Wonder Woman, daughter of Zeus and an Amazonian queen, who self-banished herself to help us mere mortals from destroying the Earth; Aquaman, born of a sea god queen he barely saw or knew about; Cyborg, his mother died while his father used magic to bring him back to life, even if they remained estranged because of it; The Flash’s dad remains wrongly imprisoned for the death of his mother; Martian Mindhunter? Like Superman, an orphan and lone survivor. Their backstories share traumatic losses, and all they seem to really want in this film is the chance to reconcile in some way with people who are already gone.