What a ridiculous clusterfuck of totally uncool jokers.
It's been over a decade since Kruger issued this comment (via emailing a a Word file named "fools.doc" in reply to Complex) and I'm still amazed that the owners of Supreme didn't immediately shutter their doors and die on the spot from shame, which is what would happen to me if Barbara Kruger called me a "totally uncool joker."
One day soon we will each be part of an ethically flawless crystalline architecture suspended in the loving embrace of the universe but until then we do our best and keep it moving.
"A Quick One Before The Eternal Worm Devours Tabs", Rusty Foster in his newsletter Today In Tabs
Submitted by Jesse.
Lucy says she starts early because ICE starts early.
"Inside Chicago’s Neighborhood ICE Resistance", Melissa Gira Grant for The New Republic
He seemed contemptuous of everything: trees, other people, the concept of truth.
"If a Tree Falls", Rosa Lyster for Harper's
Submitted by v.
It's like someone hit a piñata full of white people who are bad at golf.
The Big Short, screenplay by Charles Randolph and Adam McKay
I'm sorry to Adam McKay that I initially "watched" this movie in out of order one-minute clips on TikTok. Turns out it's much better than that and deserves to be seen in full.
Then, of course, a dummy's bones need to be encased in the squishiness of flesh.
"Built to spill: The life of a crash test dummy", Camilla Domonoske for All Things Considered
Submitted by Jason, with these runner-up sentences:
On shelves at a Humanetics facility in Huron, Ohio, skulls stare from their eyeless sockets, shiny and silver.
Heads are dropped from precise heights.
It's a beverage best experienced posthumously.
"#162. Malort and You", Josh Gondelman in his newsletter That's Marvelous!
Who needs poinsettias when we can buy a cake that’s being strangely guarded by a circle of pointless gingerbread rowhouses?
"The 2025 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog", Drew Magary for Defector
Politicians and journalists in Washington are never more humbled or overwhelmed than when bragging.
"Olivia Nuzzi, Karine Jean-Pierre and Eric Trump Have All Written the Same Book", Carlos Lozada for The New York Times
Submitted by Derek.
Or they speak of people as a cancer on the planet as though their only allegiance is to shrubbery.
"Making Sense of 2025", Sam Lipsyte for New York Magazine
The name of a positive leap second is 23:59:60, but digital time formats, which represent the current time as the number of seconds that have elapsed since some origin (NTP, for example), cannot represent that time.
NIST webpage on the Internet Time Service
Submitted by Charlie with the comment "I mean not to get all heady but... time man. Whoa. I just love the 'The name of...' part and then it's just numbers. Again like whoa."
In short, the atomic ensemble time scale at our Boulder campus has failed due to a prolonged utility power outage.
Email to the Internet Time Service listserv by Jeff Sherman
As a corollary and followup to Charlie's submission: apparently, a big wind broke time last week.
And it’s true that, while reading "Next to Heaven," I sometimes thought I could feel individual cells in my body trying to die.
"James Frey’s New Cancelled-Guy Sex Novel Is as Bad as It Sounds", Katy Waldman for The New Yorker
Submitted by George. A runner-up picked by me:
The two main characters, Devon and her husband, Billy, are a swarm of status signifiers stuffed ungrammatically into a Burberry trench coat.
(stuffed ungrammatically!)
After all, it is eminently possible to write a great book about being driven sexually insane by a man who sucks.
"American Cant", Brandy Jensen for Defector
But ensuring there is more justice, peace, consciousness, and freedom for others to partake in – no matter how little you may secure for them – is its own reward; it transcends the aims of the ego.
Sam Circle in his newsletter Last Week's New Yorker Review
Submitted by Emily. Personally delighted to learn about this newsletter!
Not a professional clown or even a very memorable one, but a clown unmistakably.
"Annie the Clown", Macy Rodman in The Whitney Review of New Writing 006
Or hang fewer shrimp initially, and make several tree-trimming passes throughout the night to replenish.
"There's Party Power in the Shrimp Tower", Tanya Sichynsky for The New York Times
Submitted by Natalie. I personally was taken by the lede on this piece:
For 364 days, a 13-inch foam cone sits atop my refrigerator like a dunce cap, a constant reminder of hedonistic foolishness.
In so many ways, ChatGPT reminds me of a girl who wants a Chanel bag
Post by Claire Zagorski on Bluesky
The lack of a period ending this sentence is crucial to the perfection.
The other day, I rode out to Pelham Bay Park to watch a landmass the size of a basketball court break off from the rest of New York City and slide into the Long Island Sound.
"On Island Time", Russell Jacobs for Urban Omnibus
Full disclosure: I recently joined the Urban Omnibus masthead in a very very very part-time capacity as an Editor at Large (please pitch me!) but I had no part in commissioning this essay.
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