We are all communists with our closest friends, and feudal lords when interacting with children.
"Debt, Violence, and Impersonal Violence: Polanyian Meditations", David Graeber
Gun culture has made it impossible to slap people like Moe Howard so the progression from chucklehead to numbskull is never halted.
@reedonly.bsky.social on Bluesky
Submitted by Natalie.
“It’s not like the guillotine is coming out,” said Roberts, the retired banker, who spoke via Zoom from a vacation in Paris.
"New York’s Richest Ask ‘How Dare He?’ as Mamdani Closes In on City Hall", Kevin T. Dugan for the Wall Street Journal
(from a vacation in Paris!!!!)
Brilyn Hollyhand, a young conservative named after a CAPTCHA, flopped as a Charlie Kirk replacement, probably because he has an even weirder face than Kirk did.
"The Great Dumbening", Ryan Broderick for his newsletter Garbage Day
Florida was the only wilderness in the world that attracted middle-aged pioneers.
Oranges, John McPhee
Submitted by George.
The gelled gentlemen are buzzed and stupid with terror.
An Instagram post by Clara, a friend from college
Wisconsin is possessed by some vast earth-scented spirit of Bovinity, docile herds of cows by the untold thousands all across the state every day at the same hour lining up shed-side in patient queues waiting to be milked, while microbial cultures, silent yet conscious, working below the level of human attention, go on bringing a strange shadowy inertia into human character…
Shadow Ticket, Thomas Pynchon
Submitted by Elijah, with this runner-up:
The year 1930 happened to be the 1776 of the cheese business.
"Dude, is this why you haven't been responding to my texts asking to hang out?" is perhaps the most heartbreaking message that an adult American woman with no real problems can possibly compose.
"Free Press Reporter Discovers That Being An Amoral Dickhead Can Cost You Friends", Tom Ley for Defector
The friend whom I mentioned caricatured it; he said that according to Hogarth humanity is a hunchback who, in ignorance of the fact that it is possible not to be hunchbacked, for thousands of years has sought an indication of a Higher Necessity in his hump, because he will accept any theory but the one that says that his deformity is purely accidental, that no one bestowed it upon him as part of a master plan, that it serves absolutely no purpose, for the thing was determined by the twists and turns of anthropogenesis.
His Master's Voice, Stanislaw Lem
Submitted by Elijah with the comment "I've been sitting on this one for a while, but if the perfect foil of an event to submit this against hasn't yet come it may not ever so here it is."
I mostly neglected to tell them it is, by and large, about suicide.
"Cassandra at the Abyss", Elizabeth Freeman for Oakland Review of Books
No one from Homeland Security could stand in the presence of the Monstrance holding the Blessed Sacrament.
Father Larry Dowling
Submitted by Kit, as seen on Bluesky.
If you’re thinking to yourself, “David Brooks calling for a mass movement in the pages of The Atlantic is like me calling for a parade of supermodels to come date me as I sit in my cousin Roy’s garage surrounded by half-eaten chicken wings,” well—yes.
"Shift Change at the Wheel Reinvention Factory", Hamilton Nolan for his newsletter How Things Work
Submitted by Angela, with this runner-up:
He engages in self-reflection the same way that a newscaster on live TV picks his nose: quickly, leaving no evidence that it ever happened.
There is no anguish quite so sweet as learning about an apple that you hadn’t heard of and likely won’t taste
The downside is not so much that more companies would do exploding rockets or sexual harassment: There are other deterrents, besides securities fraud lawsuits, for those things.
"Nothing is Securities Fraud?", Matt Levine for Bloomberg
Submitted by George.
I try to avoid yellow cabs, as you know I was shot in the back of a yellow cab in 1992 by the Gottis and Gambinos.
Curtis Sliwa in the New York City mayoral debate
The Gottis and Gambinos?? As you know??
SCP-067 Kid" is not to be confused with the canon "SCP-067", which is about a pen.
Wikipedia entry for 6-7 (meme)
Submitted by Evan. Following the "see also" links on this Wikipedia page aged me ten thousand years.
EACH AUTHOR OF THEIR OWN REALITY SEEKS MEANING OF THEIR OWN CONTEXT.
ACARS message from N429YX, via ACARS Drama
Submitted by Wesley.