Hello folks,

I'm back!  Let me tell you - going from New Zealand summer to English winter is some sort of tragic glow down. And yet...I can't deny it, I've enjoyed the crisp, cold air. Perhaps it's even been unexpectedly invigorating. The cold shower after the hot spa? When I was out there I ended up doing not much of the work I was meant to and I felt so happy that I did wonder whether I need to switch careers. I figured I'd come home and either want to quit writing or write more than I ever have. By the looks of it so far, it's the latter which is handy because I have a metric f*ck-tonne of deadlines coming up.

MOTIVATION STATIONS

While I'm skirting the edges of this topic of the job and time away from it, I might as well take a moment to dig into it a little bit and pull in a conversation I had when I was away.

Cecily's other half, Robbie, works in the industry too but in an entirely different capacity, so we were able to chat about the pressures it puts on you but from distinct perspectives. We both struggle to take proper time away and he told me that coming to New Zealand for the first time a few years ago was when he finally realised the value of dedicated and sustained breaks. I spoke about how I would make myself take maybe five day or week long holidays and find them immensely frustrating. Money spent and a constant desire (possibly driven by fear) to get back to work. You come back wishing you'd never gone. But two weeks meant there's enough time for you brain to stop struggling, to stop stinging you with you bad overworking habits and just relax. 

A change of environment was also key to letting your mind cool down. Robbie said one of the things he liked most about about New Zealand in particular was feeling no pressure or desire to "fill in the gaps". Not listening to a podcast. Not rushing to catch a film. Not feeling compelled to read The Guardian ​website in its entirety. Just being. Amen to that. It's a compulsion I struggle with, and it's especially exacerbated by living in a big city. There is always something new or fun or enriching - to not do anything has to be an active choice there and feels like a value judgement on you. Why do you lack the curiosity? Why do you lack the care? Being away from it all does make those judgements seem ridiculous. I've now been off Twitter for a month and while it did great things for me, I don't particularly miss it except in tiny moments. While I will inevitably return soon, it's slightly embarrassing how much clearer and ambitious your thinking can be when you're not constantly anxious about how people will react to those thoughts or ideas. Speaking of which...

IS THAT A RHINO IN YOUR PANTS OR ARE YOU JUST PLEASED TO SEE ME?

Today, my second episode of Doctor Who is released. I won't say too much about it but it's always nice to have your work go out, especially as this year has been a bit tricky. The process for this episode was completely different than with my first, as is the episode itself. There are jokes in this one for a start (even if many of my favs ended up getting cut...oh the eternal dance of writing for strict time slots). It was also co-written with Chris, the show runner, which was a fascinating experience since I've never actually written with someone else before. Directed by Nida Manzoor - an old friend and genuine superstar. Keep an eye on her, she's brilliant and it was fun being able to write what I could to suit what I knew to be her strengths and interests.

At the end of my work on Who this time around I felt more certain than ever that I do now need to strike out, focus more fully on my own TV ideas and step up to being the boss (as much as you can be in telly, anyway). Nevertheless, I've learned a great deal from both of the seasons I've been on the show and if I ever do return one day I hope I get to do a proper big sci-fi story. 

I feel this all the more now that I'm progressing more deeply and with greater confidence into my original sci-fi show. To be honest, I'm feeling really pumped about it! Yesterday I went into a notes meeting feeling excited and came away more so. Rare. This morning I woke up with a head full of ideas, all of a decent quality. Even rarer. In fact, this almost never happens so cherish those moments when you get them. But it's a sign that I'm in a good part of the process. Stuff is clicking to the point that the ideas are starting to self-generate, which means you've got something right in the alchemy.

So yeah! I I think this could and should be something really decent. Entertaining, tonally rich and speaks to all of the things I care about. What more could you ask from for your work?

KITTY KORNER

I was overjoyed to return to The Boys. They have since given me heaps of shit for being away, in one case literally. Chill Cat's guts have always operated on a level of Shock and Awe, and they found they greatest expression yet when the other night a sleep deprived and jet lagged Vinay was woken by the stench emanating from one of Chill's "gifts" several rooms away. Whatever the opposite of knock-out gas was, this was releasing wafts of it.

Look, I know that's a horrid image to leave you all with and you were just expecting cute missives here but I've got to keep it real about pet ownership else you'll all go out and buy little furballs and not be ready for the stinky, sometimes sticky, realties.

See you next week for the...*counts*...sixth to last Patelogram x

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