#42 - I Wish I Knew How To (Force) Quit You
Hello hello,
Is it 2005 again? Because I’m writing into the internet and telling it “I’ll write more next time” over and over but never actually doing it. This is going to be a short one because I’m on deadline that’s close and I’ve also been ill which has thrown me and need to keep my energies there. So you'll get that big post next week (honestly!)
For now though...
WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR WAR (NO SPOILERS DON'T WORRY)
So on Wednesday night, a group of 12 of us gathered to watch The Rise of Skywalker. My friend James, who is a fellow writer and Star Wars nerd reminded me that this is the last time we were going to do this and I choked up a bit. The impossible future of Star Wars sequels is now the past. I even distinctly remember being an excited child hearing about the prequels and plotting my life moments against their release dates - "I'll be at UNIVERSITY when the last one comes out!" - and now there are no more.
Well. Hopefully there are no more. At least for a bit. I think it needs rest. It was weird watching that film while being steeped in the history and intentions of George Lucas (who made the original films if you some how don't know that). Lucas had a range of interests and loves, all of which find their way into his movies for better or worse and are distinctly him. I find JJ Abrams, the director and co-writer of two of new trilogy, a fascinating character. Though he's undoubtably a fine director I suspect, like many other people, his defining love is cinema itself and there isn't a whole lot of hinterland. I think I can always tell what Lucas is trying to say, even if he does it clumsily. I rarely have much idea with Abrams. Everything feels like a reference of a reference of a reference and occasionally some witty banter. In some ways it's a cautionary tale about living a full life beyond the work. But really I guess I would love to be proved wrong and to see what he might do with, say...a camera, a half a million dollar budget and a twenty four day shoot. I might be the only person in the world pining for a low budget Abrams film but there it is.
I have nothing much to say about the quality of the film itself that isn't covered right here by Film Crit Hulk but it did make me consider what I truly wanted from a Star Wars film. No! Come back! I'll keep it brief, I promise. All I would like to think on is how - in the original films - to be a Jedi was *the* big deal. It wasn't about the importance of this exact genetic lineage except for the fact that there were basically no Jedi left, and that was more due to surviving like mammals in the aftermath of the dino-killing asteroid, as opposed to being a particularly special family in terms of power. We also found that Jedis could be people we didn't expect. (Really? This tiny, ridiculous, swamp-dwelling green puppet?). It was rare. But there was also a generosity and subversion to it.
And then, with the prequels, came what I think is the under appreciated shift - the Skywalkers aren't just Jedis (and Siths), but the most powerful ones of all. By elevating Anakin to "the chosen one" - and not just a decent general who was corrupted, as previously suggested - all of a sudden just being a Jedi ain't all that, but to be a Skywalker is the truly big deal. Luke was basically just trying to save his Dad. But with more years (and more movies), the idea of lineage and the power it holds suddenly takes on more significance til we end up with Kylo Ren trying to be an acceptable part of a supremely powerful dynasty and Rey just desperately wanting to be part of one at all.
My love for The Last Jedi partly comes from trying to walk this back a touch and show Jedi are ready and waiting to come from anywhere among us. Still selected, but more "grammar school exam" than "born to royalty". Which I'll take even if it's not perfect because I am so suspicious of "chosen one" narratives and special lineages because I think they're actively harmful, especially for children. I desperately want more stories that push against that. And hey, as the movie shows, you can both acknowledge the necessity of being able to idolise figures while also accepting that it's a fundamentally damaging conceit to both the person and society, since it renders them -
Oh. Hi The Rise of Skywalker.
Ah right. OK well, I was only -
Yeah fair enough.
Yeah no I agree. Luke Skywalker is a cool guy and has the biggest muscles.
THE DISCOURSE MADE ME DO IT
This year has truly wrung me out. I feel quite emotionally exhausted to the point of fearing for my goodness as a person. There's the apathetic answer to topics that previously riled me up. There's a lack of passion for interests I swear I'd carry with me the rest of my life. Makes me shudder. I was thinking of stepping back from public facing interactions next year and now I know I definitely need to do that for my own good. I've not got the energy or balance of mind to keep it up.
On a more positive note though, I have found joy and meaning in trying to be helpful in a more direct way this year. In particular the mentorships I've been a part of have brought me much joy. The talent is out there and they are brilliant They can take the reins and I'll just sit here on the sofa with my cats alright? And on that note...
KITTY KORNER
If you're an old hand, thanks as ever for taking the time.
Is it 2005 again? Because I’m writing into the internet and telling it “I’ll write more next time” over and over but never actually doing it. This is going to be a short one because I’m on deadline that’s close and I’ve also been ill which has thrown me and need to keep my energies there. So you'll get that big post next week (honestly!)
For now though...
WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR WAR (NO SPOILERS DON'T WORRY)
So on Wednesday night, a group of 12 of us gathered to watch The Rise of Skywalker. My friend James, who is a fellow writer and Star Wars nerd reminded me that this is the last time we were going to do this and I choked up a bit. The impossible future of Star Wars sequels is now the past. I even distinctly remember being an excited child hearing about the prequels and plotting my life moments against their release dates - "I'll be at UNIVERSITY when the last one comes out!" - and now there are no more.
Well. Hopefully there are no more. At least for a bit. I think it needs rest. It was weird watching that film while being steeped in the history and intentions of George Lucas (who made the original films if you some how don't know that). Lucas had a range of interests and loves, all of which find their way into his movies for better or worse and are distinctly him. I find JJ Abrams, the director and co-writer of two of new trilogy, a fascinating character. Though he's undoubtably a fine director I suspect, like many other people, his defining love is cinema itself and there isn't a whole lot of hinterland. I think I can always tell what Lucas is trying to say, even if he does it clumsily. I rarely have much idea with Abrams. Everything feels like a reference of a reference of a reference and occasionally some witty banter. In some ways it's a cautionary tale about living a full life beyond the work. But really I guess I would love to be proved wrong and to see what he might do with, say...a camera, a half a million dollar budget and a twenty four day shoot. I might be the only person in the world pining for a low budget Abrams film but there it is.
I have nothing much to say about the quality of the film itself that isn't covered right here by Film Crit Hulk but it did make me consider what I truly wanted from a Star Wars film. No! Come back! I'll keep it brief, I promise. All I would like to think on is how - in the original films - to be a Jedi was *the* big deal. It wasn't about the importance of this exact genetic lineage except for the fact that there were basically no Jedi left, and that was more due to surviving like mammals in the aftermath of the dino-killing asteroid, as opposed to being a particularly special family in terms of power. We also found that Jedis could be people we didn't expect. (Really? This tiny, ridiculous, swamp-dwelling green puppet?). It was rare. But there was also a generosity and subversion to it.
And then, with the prequels, came what I think is the under appreciated shift - the Skywalkers aren't just Jedis (and Siths), but the most powerful ones of all. By elevating Anakin to "the chosen one" - and not just a decent general who was corrupted, as previously suggested - all of a sudden just being a Jedi ain't all that, but to be a Skywalker is the truly big deal. Luke was basically just trying to save his Dad. But with more years (and more movies), the idea of lineage and the power it holds suddenly takes on more significance til we end up with Kylo Ren trying to be an acceptable part of a supremely powerful dynasty and Rey just desperately wanting to be part of one at all.
My love for The Last Jedi partly comes from trying to walk this back a touch and show Jedi are ready and waiting to come from anywhere among us. Still selected, but more "grammar school exam" than "born to royalty". Which I'll take even if it's not perfect because I am so suspicious of "chosen one" narratives and special lineages because I think they're actively harmful, especially for children. I desperately want more stories that push against that. And hey, as the movie shows, you can both acknowledge the necessity of being able to idolise figures while also accepting that it's a fundamentally damaging conceit to both the person and society, since it renders them -
Oh. Hi The Rise of Skywalker.
Ah right. OK well, I was only -
Yeah fair enough.
Yeah no I agree. Luke Skywalker is a cool guy and has the biggest muscles.
THE DISCOURSE MADE ME DO IT
This year has truly wrung me out. I feel quite emotionally exhausted to the point of fearing for my goodness as a person. There's the apathetic answer to topics that previously riled me up. There's a lack of passion for interests I swear I'd carry with me the rest of my life. Makes me shudder. I was thinking of stepping back from public facing interactions next year and now I know I definitely need to do that for my own good. I've not got the energy or balance of mind to keep it up.
On a more positive note though, I have found joy and meaning in trying to be helpful in a more direct way this year. In particular the mentorships I've been a part of have brought me much joy. The talent is out there and they are brilliant They can take the reins and I'll just sit here on the sofa with my cats alright? And on that note...
KITTY KORNER
I think my cats have made me lazier. Despite having argued - quite aggressively - on a panel last year that cats make a better writers pet, I wonder if that only applies if they're young. My two old boys spend a lot of time sleeping and I think this has filtered down into my subconscious since my solution to nearly everything nowadays is "...take a nap?"
I'm also engaged in an olfactory war which I will no doubt lose. Though I have tried my very hardest to push them towards a chicken based diet, I cannot deny their love of fish-based treats such as their salmon snacks and I will have to live with it despite the fact that I *hate* fish. In fact, just today, the family upstairs were making a very intense fish dish which was pungent enough that the smells curled through the grates above my front door and down into the nostrils of my kitties. They have gone absolutely bananas for the last few hours. I sit here sniffing myself, hoping the scent doesn't stick...
Turns out this wasn't short at all. Sorry. Blame Star Wars. I probably will. FOREVER.
If you're an old hand, thanks as ever for taking the time.
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