Good morning from the PatelODome (my kitchen). I'm writing this early for once! The reason being I've got a slightly terrifying meeting later and I'm not sure how it'll go so figured I'd get this out now in case I just want to deflate into nothing afterwards. I am also going to stick to that thing I said I'd do, but have repeatedly ignored, of keep this thing at 1000 words of less.

So! Recently I've been thinking a lot about what it means to exist within a moment. What do I meant by "moment"? I guess it's the period of time where everything begins to click (or appears to anyway). I'm sure I've recounted this before but when I was in my early 20s, I'd walk along the river with my friend and we'd get excited about the possibility that we would some day, in some small way, have a hand in shaping the culture of a country we felt was in a dire place. We would, naturally, do better.

When we got there.

At around the same time I asked this film producer, a man I vaguely knew from a short film shoot I was a runner on, how he was doing so much. What was that first decade or so like? How had it all come together? He just sort of shrugged and mumbled something about just keeping going. That was, of course, infuriating.

A few years later, I was deep into my MA course when Mike Bartlett came to talk to us about his life, his work etc. As he spoke, he was reeling off this list of incredible writers and actors and directors who I thought were absolutely brilliant, who were working at some of the highest levels in their fields and I couldn't get my head around it. How does this happen? How do all these people find each other and work together and keep going?

What I'm trying to get across is that a good many years of my life have been looking forward to a moment of relevancy, both for myself and my peers and I realised the other day that...well...it's kind of now. Or beginning to be.

(To be very clear before I continue - I'm not tying this to age or a set amount of time having elapsed for artists to get their 'due'. People obviously peak at different points in their life. And some, like Saint Caryl, just keep on going. Right. Onwards.)

When I say this is a moment, I don't mean that everyone I know is killing it or that they've found their fullest potential or range or expression of themselves. Just that actors I started out with are getting serious recognition, writers I'm friends with are getting exciting commissions and productions, directors I shared scratch nights with in upstairs rooms of pubs are now starting to work in places your mum will have heard of. Whenever I see a new season announcement, it's not surprising anymore for there to be someone I know on the bill. Not because they're entitled to be or that they've suddenly become exceptional but more a creeping, unnoticed "of course them, they're so great."

I'm not sure how to celebrate or acknowledge this without feeling or sounding like an utter douchebag. I was in two minds about writing this letter at all, especially when the grim version of this sentiment is easy to find or people are having a tough time of it. I've not resolved this, but I do still want to mark this moment.

If not just because it also all feels a bit precarious. If your cohort is now starting to see the sun rise on their day, it of course means that the the clock has begun to tick (excuse my mixed metaphors) and the sunset is inevitable. Is that too pessimistic? I don't think so. I reckon it's useful for there to be a shelf life for artists. Like, come back to me in ten years when I'm living in a ditch and I'll be rueing the day I ever said that but right now I feel like it would be grim to try and grapple for relevancy when you've exhausted most of what you feel you need to say. I'm excited for that sunrise yet I also think there can be dignity instead of fear and resentment in that eventual sunset and it's never too early to get your head in that space.

I suppose I'm also writing because there's a question at the heart of all this that I find compelling: If this is your moment, what do you want to do with it? If it's no longer about snarking/adoring and instead taking on a position of responsibility, what stories or schemes or understanding or change do you want to use this platform for? I know most people don't like to think of art in those terms, but the pragmatist in me finds it hard to ignore. To be in that position feels to me a little like being a new government that has entered office with some enthusiasm and expectation around you. You only have so much political capital, you can't do everything. So what will you pick? What will you choose to champion? What disappointments can you live with? What story would you like people to tell about you when you're done?

Yep. Nearly 900 words in and I'm still cringing when writing this. Sorry. I'll pack it in and go make some pre-meet waffles. Tomorrow, I'll see my grandmother and then go to the theatre. One of those things is a joy, one is a duty.

You can pick which is which x