The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip: Season 1
Power Rankings with P
Welcome to Power Rankings with P, a newsletter ranking cast members on the reality shows I subject myself to on a weekly basis. What can I say? I love slop.
The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip has finished up its first season on Peacock, and it was much better than I could have ever imagined. The Marvel Cinematic Universe should be scared. I only watch half of the shows featured (Beverly Hills and New York City) but still managed to thoroughly enjoy this spin-off and meeting the women from Atlanta and New Jersey. Other than Ramona, who I know too well, I can't really say I didn't care for any of the women. It was a great cast, but obviously I have no problem ranking these icons of reality television. Rankings are based entirely on entertainment value. Here's how the cast of the inaugural season of The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip ranked:
7. Melissa Gorga (New Jersey)
Right away, Melissa's sister-in-law, the inimitable Teresa Guidice, reminds the audience, "Melissa's not an OG." And it shows! Melissa was just kind of... there. Hanging out. Having fun. Getting drunk. Love that journey for her, but it didn't make for compelling television. Like Melissa, neither representative from Atlanta is an OG, but both Kenya and Cynthia managed to have an impact on Ultimate Girls Trip. Melissa did not. Surrounded by cast full of All-Stars, she did nothing to standout in the pack; I forgot she was there half the time. Don't hate her by any means, she just wasn't entertaining.
6. Cynthia Bailey (Atlanta)
Having never watched Atlanta, this was a rough first impression of Cynthia. She spent the majority of the trip moping around, complaining about the other women, and just being miserable. She didn't seem to have any fun on this trip, which is kind of a drag to watch. If I watched their show and knew their history, maybe I would've been more invested in the Kenya/Cynthia drama, who knows? But based on Ultimate Girls Trip alone, I find Kenya to be a much more dynamic personality when compared to Cynthia. I do appreciate her for giving Ultimate Girls Trip conflict, but I'm Team Kenya. Plus, I had already pledged my allegiance to Kyle before the season even began. Sorry 50 Cynt!
5. Teresa Guidice (New Jersey)
As a pop culture icon, I was jazzed to see the one and only Teresa Guidice in action. Her table flip was heard around the world, she was the first Housewife to go to prison (but not the last! hi Jen Shah!), and, along with Lisa Rinna and Phaedra Parks, is one of the few women from the franchise to be spoofed on Drag Race's annual Snatch Game (Joslyn Fox All Stars run when?!). Even if you don't watch the Real Housewives, chances are you have some understanding of who Teresa Guidice is. Because of this, I was a little surprised at the little impact she had on Ultimate Girls Trip. She wasn't super involved in the conflict and was more interested in discussing The Godfather and Carlito's Way than arguing. Teresa simply focused on having a good time and bonding with the other women. Love that for her! Her general demeanor made sense when she revealed that Ultimate Girls Trip, after over a decade on New Jersey, was the first time she enjoyed being on television. This moment particularly struck me as fascinating, and is a perfect example of why I love the breakdown of the fourth wall on Peacock's spin-off series.
4. Kyle Richards (Beverly Hills)
Just like her role on Beverly Hills, Kyle feels essential to this first season of Ultimate Girls Trip. She may not be the center of the drama, but, as always, she has no problem getting into the action by stirring the pot. She's essential! As the sole representative from Beverly Hills, Kyle is really able to let her hair down and have a good time. She's much more fun here than on Beverly Hills and clearly seems to be having a great time - being on the ~first~ season of Ultimate Girls Trip is a huge ego trip I'm sure. It is yet another move that positions her as NBCUniversal's "Ambassador of the Real Housewives." Between this, her made-for-streaming Housewives Christmas movie with Marie from Breaking Bad, the Tik Tok commercials featuring Mauricio and Dorit, and signing onto Halloween Ends alongside The Jamie Lee Curtis, Kyle Richards is riding high. Meanwhile, Lisa Vanderpump can be found getting pedicures with Tom Schwartz, man-child, and hearing about Lala Kent shaving Rand's asshole. The crown firmly rests on Kyle Richards' head.
3. Ramona Singer (New York City)
If Ultimate Girls Trip ends up being Ramona's swan song as a Housewife, I can't think of a performance more emblematic of who she is and her monstrous personality. She's delivering classic Ramona Singer on every horrific front. She's obnoxious and offensive. Insensitive, insincere, and insecure. Vile. She even manages to piss herself. She's really firing on all cylinders here! This woman is a lot to say the least; there is a laundry list of terrible adjectives that can be used to describe the beast that is Ramona Singer. But damn, is she entertaining to watch. Without her demonic presence on the Ultimate Girls Trip, this spin-off series would've been a complete snooze. Credit given where credit is due; she edges into the top 3 for her entertainment value alone. But make no mistake, she is a menace. If this is truly the end for Ramona Singer, Housewife, well, it's been Real.
2. Kenya Moore (Atlanta)
Eternally grateful to Ultimate Girls Trip for bringing Kenya Moore into my life. To me, it is evident that this woman is the full package. Kenya is drop-dead gorgeous, effortlessly hilarious, and has no problem getting into the drama straight away. A woman after my own heart! Based on this season alone, I have a feeling that Kenya Moore is a perfect Housewife. She is just constantly delivering. Beefing with Ramona was a no-brainer for Kenya, and I'm glad she decided to spend the entirety of the trip not taking any of her shit. The tensions came to a boil when she assisted Luann in completely embarrassing Ramona in front of their mutual crush, John. Kenya absolutely decimated her, and we loved to see it. Humiliating for Ramona, triumphant for Luann, and all thanks to Kenya! It was thrilling to witness. In the larger Real Housewives canon, I am very content with Kenya Moore being the one to finally slay Ramona Singer - much more so than Leah McSweeney and Eboni K. Williams, that's for sure. Kenya delivered an iconic performance all while going through a painful divorce at the time. Now that is dedication to your craft. It's clear to me that Kenya Moore is an All-Star; I'm so glad I got to witness her in action.
1. Luann de Lesseps (New York City)
Cliché f*g alert, but I'm obsessed with Luann de Lesseps. Her arc on New York City is unlike anything I have ever witnessed on television before, so I have no choice but to respect the fuck out of her. Ultimate Girls Trip Luann is one of her strongest iterations. She's fun, she's flirty, and she's fabulous. When not flirting with the concierge and John, Luann was getting along with all of the girls on the trip, save for her longstanding feud with Ramona. Yet another reason why Kenya's takedown of Ramona was so glorious. After 13 consecutive seasons on television together, Luann, more than anyone else on their cast, deserved to see Ramona go down in spectacular fashion. And Luann loved to see it. Capping off the season with a performance of "Money Can't Buy You Class" was the perfect end to this All-Stars trip and further cemented Luann's legacy as a power player. Maybe I'm biased, but the Countess gave a perfect performance on Ultimate Girls Trip. No notes!
We deserve an Ultimate Girls Trip every fiscal quarter. I absolutely loved this first season. The drama was light and fun, the women seemed re-energized and excited to be there, and breaking the fourth wall was a game changer. Hearing about the impact their respective shows has had on the lives of these women was fascinating, and I hope this peek behind the curtain continues in future seasons. The already filmed second season of Ultimate Girls Trip has the potential to be one of the greatest televised train-wrecks of all time; I cannot wait. Peacock, I'll see you then! Thanks for reading! :)