The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City: Season 2 Reunion
Power Rankings with P
Welcome to Power Rankings with P, a newsletter ranking cast members on the reality shows I subject myself to on a weekly basis. What can I say? I love slop.
After a blockbuster second season, I was deeply disappointed when the accompanying reunion for The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City was an absolute slog to get through. Many factors can be attributed to this snooze fest of a reunion. Of course, Mary not showing up was a huge bummer, as she not only had the most to answer for, but was also the most entertaining cast member this season, in my opinion, after Lisa Barlow. The former's absence meant this reunion was a hit job on the latter, which was exhausting from the jump. Plus, the Jennie Nguyen of it all.
Just days after the reunion filmed, a Reddit user dug up Jennie’s Facebook, and exposed an overwhelming amount of horrifically racist posts, dating back as recently as 2020. Thankfully, she has since been fired from Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Her presence casts a dark shadow on the reunion, and I don’t understand why she wasn’t edited out entirely, especially with the disclaimer accompanying part one.
Had Jennie been edited out, we could have easily had a tight two-part reunion ala the most recent season of Vanderpump Rules. Two parts would have been more than enough; without Mary M. Cosby, this reunion was utterly pointless. Still, the ladies showed up and set their sights on attempting to assassinate the queen: Lisa Barlow. Of course, they proved unsuccessful, but here’s how they ranked:
7. Mary M. Cosby (no-show)
Say what you will about Mary M. Cosby, but she is undeniably reality TV gold; Bravo really hit the jackpot with this casting. A tragic figure, Mary is endlessly fascinating, with the ability to absolutely captivate me every time she appears on screen. Her behavior is whimsically bizarre and darkly abhorrent. One moment she sarcastically cracks "women" while cast mates are fighting, the next she is referring to another cast member as "looking in-bred." She is toxic, nasty, rude, mean, and unabashedly racist. She will say whatever the hell she wants with no consideration for anybody else or their feelings. She was never long for this show, but I still think we could have gotten another season or two out of Mary M. Cosby. There's just... SOOO much going on here.
While she is a fascinating character for reality television, Mary never really meshed with the rest of her cast mates. The remaining five OGs on the cast all felt like they were loosely friends before filming the show, but Mary’s inclusion always felt forced by the production. I'm sure that once the casting team found Mary, a woman groomed by her grandfather who runs a church where the congregation, allegedly, believes she is God, they knew they would include her in the cast no matter what. Bravo's gonna Bravo. Unfortunately, throwing a rando into a cast consisting of a loose friend group doesn’t always work. By the time it came to film season 2, Mary hated everyone on the entire cast except Meredith, and spent all season feuding with them, which was entertaining but often problematic. It's too bad she ditched the reunion and didn't speak for any of it. A shame.
Mary not showing up ruined the entire vibe of the reunion, which mildly concerns me for the future of RHOSLC. Mary is fundamental to the show; hell, she’s the reason I added Salt Lake City to my Real Housewives diet. When I heard a Housewife had married her grandfather, leads a church, and told another Housewife she smelt like hospital, I knew I had to tune in. Godspeed, Mary M. Cosby. Godspeed.
6. Jennie Nguyen
Based on the title card that opened part one of the reunion, I thought Jennie Nguyen would be all but edited out of the episode, only included when absolutely necessary. Unfortunately, I was wrong. Jennie was very much present in the reunion, spending the majority of her time leading a discussion on racism and how much she despises Mary M. Cosby. Yikes. At least this will be the last we see of Jennie Nguyen.
5. Heather Gay
Boooooo tomato tomato tomato! Heather Gay came in way too hot for this reunion and derailed the entire thing into being almost unwatchable. She clearly came into this reunion with one goal in mind and one goal only: destroy Lisa Barlow. It turns nasty almost immediately, with Heather attempting to go for Lisa's jugular during a package on Jen Shah, the first package of the day. About JEN, a federal criminal. Honey, relax. This was not the time. I'm sure Lisa's reckoning was in the day's outline, but once Heather took the first shot, the floodgates opened and the remainder of the reunion was an excessive Lisa Barlow pile-on. This makes Heather's claim that she came into the reunion wanting to defend Lisa Barlow all the more laughable - she's full of shit.
4. Jen Shah
Despite allegedly defrauding the elderly, Jen Shah spent the majority of the reunion unchallenged and unquestioned, which is crazy, because she allegedly defrauded the elderly. I'll go ahead and assume it was silently understood amongst her cast mates not to jump the gun with season three’s storyline. After two hours of Lisa Barlow bashing, Andy Cohen finally put Jen Shah in the hot seat. She came off as charming, was cracking jokes and doing bits, and appeared to have no knowledge on the ongoing federal case that she has been named in. It was completely unsettling, and the behavior of someone who would allegedly scam the elderly. Jen Shah was telling on herself without even knowing it.
3. Whitney Rose
Despite being the beta to Heather's alpha, Whitney Rose by far had the better reunion performance out of the Bad Weather duo (a nicknamed coined by the one and only Lisa Barlow during the first season reunion, by the way). Whitney understands the dynamics of the reunion much better than Heather, proving she truly is a student of the franchise while Heather gives off "casual fan." At numerous points during the three part reunion, Whitney attempted to own up to the fact that she too is guilty of stirring the pot, but Heather and Jen just barreled through with their plan to eviscerate Lisa Barlow. Being a true student of Real Housewives, Whitney knows this is not sustainable for the longevity of their franchise, and I appreciate her attempting to course correct and take some heat off of Lisa. Unfortunately, there is a pecking order in Salt Lake City, and Whitney is not at the top of that list. She instantly folds, but I am optimistic about Whitney's future performances moving forward.
2. Lisa Barlow
In a season where Jen Shah was arrested on federal fraud charges, it's kind of crazy that the reunion was essentially "The Cast of Salt Lake City versus Lisa Barlow." From the cast's perspective, I get it; she must be a complete nightmare to work with. Yes, she shit-stirs. Yes, she is over the top. Yes, she is messy. But this is why we, the fans, love her. She only has two seasons under her belt, but Lisa Barlow is undoubtedly one of my favorite Real Housewives of all time. "Hi baby gorgeous!" is a part of my daily vocabulary, I can't drive past a Taco Bell without thinking "I love fine dining and I love Taco Bell," and the entire "hot mic incident" plays on a constant loop in my head. I'm laughing now just thinking about these iconic moments and so many more. She's a hilarious catchphrase machine, effortlessly knows how to stir up drama, and has a hot husband - she's the full package. Lisa Barlow has spent the past 15 years meticulously studying to be a Real Housewife; the hard work has paid off in spades.
1. Meredith Marks
Meredith Marks won the reunion for me the moment she uttered the word "verklempt." Queen of vocabulary! Meredith graduated from Northwestern's Pritzker School of Law, and her J.D. was put to spectacular use here. She consistently, but respectfully, took over for Andy and questioned Lisa on her own, building up an evidence backed case when it came time for the friends of 10 years to face off over the infamous "hot mic incident." With this, she managed to protect her own character, while also giving the audiences a taste of Real Housewives: True Crime. While she lawyered the fuck out of this reunion, the ice queen also opened up about personal struggles regarding her complicated emotions surrounding the death of her father, something I found to be very raw and real. While she turned in a quiet performance, it was brilliantly strategic, and never overwhelming negative or immensely frustrating. A fantastic showing. Without a doubt, Meredith Marks was the clear winner of Salt Lake City's second reunion. Thanks for reading! :)