The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Season 11 Reunion
Power Rankings with P
Welcome to Power Rankings with P, a newsletter ranking cast members on the reality shows I subject myself to on a weekly basis. What can I say? I love slop.
Having had its first great season since Kim Richards was a full-time Housewife, the hype surrounding the 11th reunion of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was unreal. Bravo made the decision to split it into four parts instead of the standard three, Andy Cohen continuously sung its praises on his after show, the cast seemed extremely pleased following filming day, and every gay around the world made the same exact Super Bowl joke, something I am guilty of. The 4-part reunion was marketed as the television event of the season. What started with a roar would end with a whimper. Sad! Did we need a four part reunion? No, we absolutely did not. I would have much preferred a jam-packed 2-part reunion with super-sized episodes instead of what we got. A straight month of reunion episodes really killed the momentum, the hype, the interest. I was thankful when it ended. Kind of a wash! But what's done is done, season 11 is in the books. Let's see how the women ranked following their reunion performances:
8. Dorit Kemsley
Dorit spent the majority of the season doing not much of anything other than feuding with Garcelle, starting a line of wedding dresses, and almost asking Erika the questions we wanted answers to. Almost! Multiple times, Dorit came close to standing up to Erika and asking for answers, but failed and retreated every time. Deeply disappointing. Whatever, I believe RHOBH has progressed past the need for Dorit Kemsley. Screeching “LET ME FINISH GARCELLE” was her only memorable moment this reunion which, yikes. Even after this nasty moment, the two are able to make tense amends, a testament to Garcelle's character. However, Dorit can’t help herself. Moments after Garcelle and Rinna come to some sort of resolution, Dorit chimes in with “but do you mean it Garcelle?” Lord. Speaking for everyone, Erika barks at her to just shut up. Maybe someday Dorit will learn when it’s time to stop talking. I'm not holding my breath.
7. Lisa Rinna
More than any of the other women on this franchise, Lisa Rinna views RHOBH as just another job; she’s playing a character. Because she is playing Lisa Rinna the Real Housewife, she has no problem torching her 20 year friendship with Garcelle (while dragging Harry Hamlin into it!), and Denise Richards before her. Naturally, this deeply unsettled both women, and is at the root of Garcelle’s issue with her, in my opinion. But that would be breaking the fourth wall, so we are stuck with the two women talking in circles, with no real resolution. That Rinna/Garcelle embrace at the end of part 1? Please. Rinna will never stop “playing a character” therefore Garcelle will never trust her. Sure, Rinna apologized for Yolanda, Kim, and Denise, but it was all according to script. When Kim makes her triumphant return to the world of RHOBH, Rinna better be ready to fight for her life.
6. Crystal Kung-Minkoff
Outside of the Erika Jayne of it all, Crystal, Sutton, and a pair of ugly leather pants were one of the centerpieces of the season. Some classic Housewife antics. Crystal mostly resolved her issues with Sutton off camera, which is fine; we didn’t need to rehash it once again. However, this unfortunately meant the majority of Crystal’s time on the reunion was spent discussing the racist garbage thrown her way by the so-called fans of the show, which was a major bummer. It really, really sucks. Still, Crystal was able to shine outside of this unfortunate topic, asking Erika an essential question: “where is your anger towards him?” Valid! I’m glad Crystal has been spotted filming for season 12. With a season under her belt, I’m excited to see where her sophomore season takes her.
5. Kyle Richards & 4. Kathy Hilton
Pairing these two sisters together for obvious reasons. Kyle ranks lower than Kathy because she never once answered for her constant throwing of Sutton under the bus, or why she, as the OG with nothing to lose, did not grill Erika much harder all season long. When it came to Erika, Kyle still did not show up at the reunion, which was super disappointing. Kyle's gonna Kyle. Bringing Kathy on saved her ass this season, otherwise she might be flailing. Still, even without doing much, she once again managed to score that first seat next to Andy, which is a power move. She’s not going anywhere!
As the breakout star of the season, Kathy easily ranks above her sister Kyle. I mean, the third part of the reunion was almost exclusively dedicated to Kathy Being Kooky clip packages. She is the moment! The name on everyone’s lips all summer long was Kathy Hilton, a brilliant PR move after the horrid reception following her appearance on This is Paris the previous summer. Most importantly, her presence this season further mythologizes the lore of The Richards Sisters, the through-line of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Bringing her sister Kathy on this season was Kyle’s best play in years. Her response to Andy when asked if the three of them will be on the show together was perfect. “You’ll just have to wait and see.” Kyle! Incredible work. Keeping us hooked. Kim’s resurgence on RHOBH feels inevitable - we won!
3. Sutton Stracke
An essential worker all season, Sutton managed to hold her own at the reunion. Immediately when the Tom Giradi scandal broke, Sutton knew "something ain't right" and proceeded to spend the entire season attempting to get to the bottom of it. Without Detective Sutton Stracke on the case, this may have been the most frustrating season of RHOBH ever, which is really saying something. While not a show-stopping reunion performance by any means, she still continued to take Erika to task multiple times, and mostly without the support of her fellow cast mates. Like the audience, she still has questions and has no problem asking them, even if it means having "bitchy fucking c***" hurled at her by Erika. By the reunion's end, Sutton seems completely over Erika's non-answers, and knows she is not going to get anywhere with her. Once again, Sutton is the audience surrogate. Here's hoping Fancy Drew is able to crack the case next season.
2. Garcelle Beauvais
Garcelle Beauvais is the future of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. What a fantastic season she had. Without her and Sutton, I might have checked out of RHOBH faster than I did RHONY. Garcelle knows how to keep the narrative moving, gives great confessionals, fun fashions, and isn't afraid to go after some of the more established cast members. She immediately confronted Kyle at the jump, attempted to hold Rinna accountable for her terrible actions all season long, and backed Sutton up when she questioned Erika's involvement in Tom's (alleged) crimes. A spectacular housewife. At the reunion, Garcelle handled Dorit and Rinna's team up against her incredibly well. They're both snakes and full of shit, something Garcelle sees right through. Thank GOD she's currently filming season 12, the show would majorly suffer without her.
1. Erika Jayne
The performance of a lifetime. In her finest and messiest hours, Erika comes across horribly as she repeatedly tells lies, throws rotten insults at others, and generally acts demonic. It's utterly fascinating to witness. She makes inappropriate outbursts at random. Wildly changes her vocal tone. Venomously attacks her co-workers for asking extremely valid questions. She's vicious, unkind, and a total narcissist. Repeatedly, she asks "how do you think I feel?" without ever once considering the feelings of the victims. When Andy manages to make her finally address the (alleged) victims of Tom's (alleged) crimes, she begrudgingly acknowledges them, seemingly annoyed they are soaking up some of her camera time. This is the Erika Jayne hour, how dare the spotlight be shown on anyone else?!
Prior to the reunion airing, Andy and her fellow Real Housewives were praising Erika's reunion performance, claiming she answered about 98% of Andy's questions. This seems extremely generous, as I still have a myriad of questions. Most of the questions asked she answers in a roundabout way, sometimes leaving more questions than we originally started out with. She changes facts around, like the amount of time Tom was unconscious at the bottom of the mountain, or the amount of cars that flipped over. She blatantly lied about her water-proof mascara, (Rinna chiming in didn't do much to help) and was unable to explain why it was snowing in Pasadena. Her threat against Sutton at Kathy's was down-played like it was no big deal at all, despite Sutton hiring security after the fact. Not once does Erika answer for her cruel behavior exhibited all season long. It was a bit of a let down. Perhaps if her cast mates, other than Sutton and Garcelle, held her feet to the fire while refusing to back down, we would have gotten more answers. There's only so much Andy Cohen can do at these reunions, and he does not need to be the only one asking questions. Sutton tries, but when people like Kyle and Dorit don't back her up, it's utterly pointless. We just go in circles. Why are they so afraid of her? Legally, she's completely and utterly fucked. It's not like she can afford to sue y'all.
Erika turned in a highly watchable reunion performance, giving us drama, fury, emotion, disassociation, comedy (nicetitsstupidbitch), aggravation, and cruelty. Even when she was (allegedly) honest, that honestly was clouded in disdain. I'm walking away from the reunion exactly as I walked into the season. Erika is not a criminal mastermind, but she is definitely guilty of something. Obviously, this is Tom's mess, but Erika clearly knew "something ain't right." Her abhorrent behavior at the reunion solidified this for me. Why else would she act like a literal ghoul? What exactly she knew is something we will never learn, but I'll be tuning in next season to see if we end up finding out!
Actually, maybe the real winner of the reunion was horror movie icon Michael Myers. He shows up for a cameo not once, but twice, which is ultimately another power move on Kyle's part; a nice little reminder to the other women that she's booking legit Hollywood tentpoles. And, to Kyle's credit, she was legitimately great in Halloween Kills. I'm ending the newsletter talking about Kyle Richards - there's a reason she's the last OG standing. This is her town! Thanks for reading! :)