RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 14: Snatch Game
Power Rankings with P
Welcome to Power Rankings with P, a newsletter ranking cast members on the reality shows I subject myself to on a weekly basis. What can I say? I love slop.
WOOF. It took a record ten episodes to get to Snatch Game, a Drag Race staple, and this was the mess we got. Easily one of the worst of all time, it was like we had an entire panel consisting of nothing but eight Trixie Mattels as RuPauls. Everybody, expect for the winner, I guess, was awful, making this one of the more difficult rankings for the season. Here's how they rank, I think:
8? Jasmine Kennedie (last week: 7th/8th)
Snatch Game character: Betsy DeVos
Everyone was awful in the Snatch Game, but Jasmine Kennedie as Betsy DeVos was in her own separate level of hell. She wasn't even so bad it was funny, she was just bad. To her credit, it does take talent to be the worst in this batch of terrible Snatch Games. Bad, bad, bad.
7? Lady Camden (last week: 6th)
Snatch Game character: William Shakespeare
Writers can be done successfully in Snatch Game, ask Monét X Change as Maya Angelou just a few seasons ago. But Lady Camden as the Bard had none of the humor, charm, or creativity the All Stars 4 winner had back in Season 10. Yet again, Camden had a forgettable week. She slayed the Blondie lip sync in her standout episode, so I think she’ll survive next week's smackdown. But after that? Love and light!
6? Daya Betty (last week: 5th)
Snatch Game character: Ozzy Osbourne
Daya Betty's impersonation of Ozzy Osbourne was pretty spot on, but entirely forgettable and lacking any humor in the performance. Not a single joke was made, and her only schtick was copying Bosco's answers? Certainly a choice!
5? Jorgeous (last week: 7th/8th)
Snatch Game character: Ilana Glazer
Like a few Snatch Game performances this week, Jorgeous's bizarre interpretation of Broad City's Ilana flirts with being so bad it's good. Pulling her answer card out of her “coochie-monster” was something, as was using the phrase “coochie-monster.” Did Ilana ever say that on the show? I don't think so? The whole exchange is so awkward that I had to laugh, and getting laughs is the goal of Snatch Game. Additional credit to Jorgeous for a bold choice; RuPaul had a recurring role on the show, specifically as a supporting character to Ilana, so this was a huge risk. Ultimately, it didn't pay off.
4? Bosco (last week: 2nd)
Snatch Game character: Gwyneth Paltrow
With Gwyneth Paltrow, I understand what Bosco was going for in her interpretation. She started strong with her explanation for subbing in DROOP for GOOP, "it is what we can mention on television without getting sued by my actual company," but it immediately flatlined from there. I’m sure the lack of energy in the room, and sitting next to Daya, was detrimental to her performance. Too bad, as Bosco is one of the funnier queens this season.
3? Willow Pill (last week: 1st)
Snatch Game character: Drew Barrymore
Willow Pill not doing her research completely screwed her over in the Snatch Game. Saying “nice to meet you” to RuPaul, who apparently worked with Drew Barrymore three summers ago on World’s Best, a reality competition show CBS did not even pick up, sealed her fate. Willow hurt Ru’s ego, which hurt Willow’s Snatch Game. Ego bruised, RuPaul decided to throw Willow off her game at the very top of the challenge, something I'm sure Ru regretted after seeing how Snatch Game went.
2? Angeria Paris VanMichaels (last week: 4th)
Snatch Game character: Tammie Brown
Maybe I’m making excuses for her because she’s Angeria Paris VanMichaels, but her interpretation of Season 1 and All Stars 1 contestant Tammie Brown was so bad, it was good. Well, almost. She didn't look like her, didn't sound like her, and didn't give us many Tammie-isms, but at least she made me laugh! In addition to the producers wanting the "everybody in the bottom lip syncs" angle, Angeria's character selection didn't do her any favors. Tammie Brown was a Choice, as she is one of the few queens to ever talk back to both RuPaul and Michelle Visage, which probably left a bad taste in their mouths. Whatever, Tammie Brown for the next All Stars. Teleport us to Mars!
1! DeJa Skye (challenge winner, last week: 3rd)
Snatch Game character: Lil Jon
Any other Snatch Game, DeJa Skye's Lil Jon would have been safe. However, since everybody else performed terribly, DeJa Skye wins by default. Congrats? A one-note performance, it does not stack up to the likes of previous Snatch Game winners like Jinkx Monsoon as Little Edie, Bob the Drag Queen as Uzo Aduba & Carol Channing, or Ben DeLaCreme as Dame Maggie Smith. Even girls like Adore Delano as Anna Nicole Smith, Alaska as Lady Bunny, and Symone as Harriet Tubman, who didn't win, still gave much more memorable performances than DeJa. On the judges panel, when RuPaul asked Dove Cameron how she felt about winning the Snatch Game she responded with, "like coming first in an ugly dog contest." I imagine DeJa Skye must feel similar.
Next week, a mid-season lip sync smackdown? Alwight. It's giving drag, it's giving drama, it's giving VH1 needing to sell ad space. I'm just excited to finally see someone go home again; I'm ready to get Angeria crowned. Thanks for reading!