RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 14: Big Opening No. 2
Power Rankings with P
Welcome to Power Rankings with P, a newsletter ranking cast members on the reality shows I subject myself to on a weekly basis. What can I say? I love slop.
After being introduced to a stellar first group of queens last week, this second batch was giving "B Team." I would not be surprised if the majority of these queens are eliminated by the halfway mark in this competition. Talented girls, no doubt, they just were not as memorable or as exciting of personalities as last week's group. (TO ME.) Because of this, ranking the queens was a little more difficult, but here's how it shook out:
7. Daya Betty (eliminated)
Pouring one out for our Mid-Missouri queen. I'm heartbroken to see a Missouri girl go home so early in the competition, especially one that seemed willing to stir the pot in both the werkroom and confessionals. Daya was ready to give us Reality Television! However, her decision to perform Pink's "Get the Party Started" was misguided. This was a bar number performed on the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race. Baby, you're not at Martha's in Springfield anymore! Daya needed to elevate her drag for television and ultimately fell flat. Hopefully this isn't the last time we see a Missouri girl on Drag Race.
6. DeJa Skye
Ru declaring DeJa Skye a lip sync assassin? She's reaching, your honor. DeJa Skye is our big, bold, and bright campy queen this year. I usually enjoy the camp queens on Drag Race, but I'm not connecting with DeJa after this episode. Both her entrance and runway looks were some of the worst of the night, and for her talent, she gave us a comedy routine without the comedy. Her cheerleading solo sketch had a lot of potential to be hilarious, which made her performance all that much more disappointing. Still, she absolutely murdered Daya in the lip sync, and was very deserving to stay. But a lip sync assassin? That remains to be seen. It's only episode 2!
5. Maddy Morphosis
Finally, representation for straight, cisgender white men on Drag Race! Maddy's inclusion in season 14 is stunt casting at its most obvious. She definitely was not cast as a memorable personality. As a quiet queen, she often faded into the background. This does not bode well for her longevity in the competition as only half the cast was featured in this episode. Throughout their premiere, Maddy was the most unsure in the cast, the most nervous. For the talent show, she definitely brought a talent in her guitar playing, but forgot to bring the performance. Where was the rock n' roll? It just wasn't clicking. After a subdued episode, Maddy finally shone when she stepped onto the runway in her headless Marie Antoinette eleganza. Flats aside, this really was a memorable look. We will see how she does in this competition. Would love to see Maddy crack open a Coors Light in the Untucked lounge before her inevitable elimination.
4. Jasmine Kennedie
Spots #3 and #4 are pretty interchangeable. Both queens gave high energy dance numbers, but didn't make a big impact on me in the personality department. Still not entirely sure on my own rankings here. Even now, I'm kind of regretting ranking Jasmine Kennedie fourth, because she had a pretty good episode. Her talent show performance was jaw-dropping - she did a damn backflip in six inch heels! Her 60s-inspired runway look was GORG and impressed RuPaul, who compared her to Edy Williams in Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. Bringing Ru to a place of Russ Meyer's 1970 camp classic bodes well for Jasmine in this competition. I'm not entirely sold on her, but as the only New York girl cast this season, she must be here for a reason.
3. Lady Camden
Lady Camden ranks above Jasmine Kennedie simply because I love the song "Just Dance" by Jamiroquai. That's it, that's what it came down to. Beyond that, she subverted expectations by giving more than just a ballet number, something Ru would have found boring. A smart, strategic move from our Camden Town born, Sacramento based queen. She slayed in the performance and had a fun peacock inspired runway, but I honestly don't remember any stand out werkroom or confessional moments. Undeniably a talented queen, I just hope she has the personality to give us some good reality TV.
2. Jorgeous
Just Jorgeous! The youngest queen this season is, of course, gorgeous, brought stunning looks (the stoning on that runway, my GOD), and can Dance. But her personality is what really won me over. This is a queen with a ton of charisma and knows it. Her shade in the confessional chair is exactly what we need on any season of Drag Race, and she is very, very cute out of drag. In terms of the competition, her confidence will be a force to be reckoned with; it will take her far both this season and long after the finale. Alongside my number one pick, I could easily see Jorgeous being the mainstay from Premiere No. 2.
1. Angeria Paris VanMichaels (challenge winner)
Easily the all-around standout from this week's premiere. Angeria Paris VanMichaels is the full package. She won me over the second she set foot in the werkroom with her perfectly proportioned polka dot look, silhouette, and entrance line. Naturally, she goes onto win the mini-challenge, and then the main challenge. A mini and a main! Her original track was fun (CHECK!), her performance full of energy, and her runway look was jaw-dropping. That wine colored gown is simply impeccable. I'm a sucker for funny, gorgeous, country queens, and so is RuPaul. Angie has Ru's attention more than any other queen in this half of the cast, and deservedly so. I'll be shocked if any of the queens from this premiere make it further in the competition than Angie; she's a shoo-in for top four.
Special shoutout to Alicia Keys this week, who was blazed out of her mind and cracking me up on the judges panel. Laganja Estranja would be proud. Next week, the two sets of queens finally link up for a ball. 12 queens with 3 looks each means we're getting 36 looks in total - remember to stay hydrated! Thanks for reading! :)