RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 14: 60s Girl Groups
Power Rankings with P
Welcome to Power Rankings with P, a newsletter ranking cast members on the reality shows I subject myself to on a weekly basis. What can I say? I love slop.
The main-challenge producers deserve a raise this season, because once again they've knocked it out of the park with 60s Girl Groups. Yet another fun challenge that gave the queens total creative control, leaving their own fates in their own hands. After one of the best reading challenges in years, the queens split up into the following teams: The ShangRu-Las, The Ru-Nettes, and The Ru-Premes. After a heated show-down of who got the ShangRu-Las, the queens began creating their characters, writing their lyrics, and coming up with the choreography. The highly coveted The ShangRu-Las were wig and shoulders above the other girl groups, but here's how the queens ranked, individually:
9. Kerri Colby (eliminated, last week: 8th)
Sad to see Kerri Colby go, but it was only a matter of time. Kerri never really showed up in the challenges, but she really shone in her confessionals, leaving her mark as a narrator of the season. Her impact on the other queens was moving to witness, and I’m so happy she was a part of Season 14. Easy pick for Miss Congeniality.
8. Jasmine Kennedie (last week: 6th)
She was easily the worst in the challenge, but Jasmine Kennedie being incredible television saved her from elimination this week. Her lip sync performance was a disheveled mess - with a single shoe being hurtled towards the judges panel, her nipples out, and the multiple wigs stacked upon her head hanging on by a single bobby pin. But, as noticed by RuPaul, she felt the emotion in the lyrics, whereas Kerri phoned it in. The highlight of the episode came in Jasmine's voiceover during the runway, when she sauntered down the mainstage in her most basic pageant dress and over the top pageant hair. "My hair? You can't even tell it's a wig, mawma." The level of delusion. I live! Alyssa Edwards should be proud.
7. Lady Camden (last week: 1st)
Demolishing last week’s episode must have exhausted Lady Camden, because her performance as a Ru-Preme fell flat; Camden was unfortunately lost in the shuffle this week. I’m okay with her taking a slight tumble here, as she deserves a minute to take a backseat and breathe after her star turn in episode 7. Not worried, she'll be back on top in no time.
6. Jorgeous (last week: 5th)
After a rough recording session, Jorgeous's performance in the Ru-Nettes... kind of worked in the final product! She's definitely kind of cheating as she got to talk-sing through her lyrics, but that sort of moment isn't unheard of in the songs that “He’s My Baby” is a parody of. She was cute, but definitely safe. I enjoy Jorgeous more than the average viewer, but I totally see that she is safely sliding through the competition by being a charismatic twink.
5. DeJa Skye (last week: 9th)
In a shocking twist, I have nice things to say about DeJa Skye this week! She was easily the highlight of the Ru-Nettes, with a decent Ronnie Spector impersonation during the performance of “He’s My Baby;” she particularly nailed the “lo-uh-uh-uh-ve” in her lyrics, lifted directly from a number of Ronettes songs through the years. Additionally, DeJa was the only one in her group to provide humorous lyrics, however, they were nothing compared to the lyrics of the ShangRu-Las. Not a bad week for DeJa, but did she deserve to be in the top? In the words of Davina DeCampo, "I don’t think."
4. Angeria Paris VanMichaels (last week: 7th)
RuPaul was visibly satisfied with Angeria’s Diana Ross impersonation, something only season 1 winner Bebe Zahara Benet has ever managed to accomplish in seasons past. Winners only! I loved Angeria's runway, that is until she revealed the cheap "I <3 U” across her chest. A clear after-thought to fit the "Heart On" theme, it looked tacked on and lazy, something I would not expect from Miss VanMichaels. Still, I’m happy she has yet another high placement; her immaculate track record still stands.
3. Willow Pill (last week: 3rd)
Why wasn’t this challenge judged as a group? The ShangRu-Las girl group far and away gave the best performance of the week, with a hilariously dark and campy song about cruising your stalker, featuring nasty twists and turns in every lyric. Maybe I’m as delusional as Jasmine, but I think John Waters would live for this shit. In a perfect world, all three members of the ShangRu-Las would have shared the challenge win, but this was not the case unfortunately. Individually, I've ranked Willow Pill here. Willow's lyrics in the song required heavy lifting in the exposition department, so while not the funniest performance of the group, she was still a vital piece of the puzzle to the group's success. Bosco and Daya just landed the funnier lyrics, however Willow Pill easily had the best runway. Again, this should have just been a shared win.
2. Daya Betty (challenge winner, last week: 4th)
The villain edit is in full effect, and I am absolutely living for it. Daya Betty winning the challenge solo was the producers' way of thanking her for being a terror this season, so I don't completely hate the decision. Loudly refusing to back down from joining the The ShangRu-Las group was overly obnoxious, cringe-worthy, and deliciously dramatic. I don't know if Daya is fully aware how terribly she is coming across on television, but I need it to continue for the rest of the season. What can I say? I love a villain. Congrats on winning the challenge, but I still maintain it should have been a group win.
1. Bosco (last week: 2nd)
After winning the reading mini-challenge, giving a fantastic performance in the main, and another clean runway presentation, I thought Bosco's second main-challenge win was in the bag. Upon realizing this would not be a group win ala United Kingdolls, and that she was actually just safe this week, I was gagged. Bosco seemed to be the dominant creative force behind the filthy song premise, had the funniest lyrics, and read as "group leader" for the ShangRu-Las; it could have been a done deal. The season's storyline said otherwise, so the de facto villain this year was given her first main-challenge win instead. Next week we have an improv challenge, something I could easily see Bosco taking. Fingers crossed for our Pacific Northwest Queen! Thanks for reading! :)