RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 7: The Realness of Fortune Ball
Power Rankings with P
Welcome to Power Rankings with P, a newsletter ranking cast members on the reality shows I subject myself to on a weekly basis. What can I say? I love slop.
Another episode of All Stars All Winners that is nothing but good vibes only. Not that I'm complaining! I obviously love the drama that comes with reality television, but I am enjoying the lack of eliminations and that queens are not sending each other home this season. Gorgeous to simply watch this set of queer artists performing at the top of their game, showcasing their art, all without the pressure of "I could go home this week." The most refreshing format change since All Stars 2.
This week, the winners competed in The Realness of Fortune Ball, with the categories Vanna White Realness, Before and After, and Realness of Fortune Eleganza. The gag of the season was Vanna White herself making a grand entrance on the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars, and the ensuing reactions from the queens seeing her for the first time as they strutted down the runway as Vanna. More of this, please!
8. Jinkx Monsoon (last week: 1st)
Before and After: Whatever Happened to Baby Jane Fonda
Her Before and After look was pure campy drag, and exactly what I expect and love to see from Jinkx Monsoon. We all knew Jinkx would struggle with the ball, but as she mentioned on the main stage, “watch out, because this is my only weakness y’all!!” Expect Jinkx to shoot back to the top of the rankings for next week’s Improv challenge. Too bad she's blocked from receiving another Legendary Legend Star.
7. Yvie Oddly (last week: 8th)
Before and After: Cardi B. Arthur
I’m just going to assume Yvie Oddly has never seen an episode of Wheel of Fortune in her life, because her Vanna White realness was beyond confusing. Her Cardi B. Arthur was hysterical and presented impeccably. While making pink punk is very true to Yvie, I was underwhelmed by the execution of the look. Very meh week for Yvie.
6. The Vivienne (last week: 6th)
Before and After: Princess Diana Ross
So far in All Stars All Winners, The Vivenne has been very polished, if a bit boring. Her final look this week was no exception. The judges believe this is something RuPaul would wear, but I think Zaldy, Ru’s designer, would come up with something much more exciting.
5. Shea Couleé (last week: 7th)
Before and After: Gold Tooth Fairy
The Gold Tooth Fairy was a witty revelation, and executed in a way that only Shea Couleé could pull off. Personally, I’m particularly obsessed with the movement on those fairy wings; Tinker Bell wishes. Her final look, a wedding gown, would have been too basic for me, but the added detail of the turban elevated something simple into something much more special.
4. Monét X Change (last week: 4th)
Before and After: Bob the Drag Queen Elizabeth
Her final disco look was well constructed, especially for Monét X Change! Pleasantly surprised. While her Vanna look was far from something the game show legend would wear, I do appreciate that the All Stars 4 winner went down the runway with her entire ass hanging out. Peak Monét X Change. As Bob the Drag Queen Elizabeth, Monét nailed it in terms of humor, presentation, and execution; no surprises there. She may not be the strongest of the night, but overall, I was very impressed with Monét’s performance in this design challenge.
3. Jaida Essence Hall (top 2, last week: 5th)
Before and After: Bag Lady in Red
These next three are neck to neck to neck. Even now, ranking Jaida Essence Hall as third for her remarkable and well-constructed final look just feels wrong. It’s incredibly well-made; almost hard to believe she made this in the werkroom. I’m quickly learning not to underestimate the season 12 winner. The top two girls, for me, delivered over-the-top, draggy drag which gave them both the edge over Jaida. I also might just be a delusional Raja fan, but this is my ranking, so who cares!
2. Trinity the Tuck (top 2, last week: 3rd)
Before and After: RuPaul Charles II
Trinity the Tuck’s final look was DRAG. Just pure drag excellence. From the precise cuts on the cut-outs, to the miles and miles of wig, to the over-the-top gaudy styling (respectfully), Trinity reminded us that we are watching a DRAG competition. Her Vanna White realness was maybe the most accurate to the real deal, and her RuPaul Charles II was so incredibly stupid - yet another reminder that we are watching a drag competition show.
1. Raja (last week: 2nd)
Before and After: Olivia Newton John Waters
Raja was robbed narrative starting now! Raja not winning the ball does not sit right with my spirit. Her final constructed look was jaw-dropping - a gorgeous gold affair that was regal, distinguished, and refined; all of the things that we love and expect from Raja. Ridiculous to me that she did not place in the top 2; the Vanna White realness was spot-on, and while her Olivia Newton John Waters wasn’t enough for the judges, I thought it was a perfect gag. Whatever. Stan Raja, Stan Talent. Thanks for reading! :)