RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 7: Legends
Power Rankings with P
Welcome to Power Rankings with P, a newsletter ranking cast members on the reality shows I subject myself to on a weekly basis. What can I say? I love slop.
I know, I know. Yet another season of Drag Race is airing, but this one is different. All Stars 7 isn't just another season of All Stars. This is All Stars All Winners, baby! Absolutely thrilled. This has been a long time coming, and I don't see it disappointing. The premiere was perfect, and I have no notes. Well, I have one note: fix the horrendous sound mixing in the main challenge. I thought this was Paramount Plus, bitch! But besides that? A euphoric television experience. Instead of ranking the queens on how they performed in the premiere, I'm ranking them based on their prior season wins, their likelihood to win All Stars All Winners, and how much I like them. :)
8. Jaida Essence Hall (Drag Race Season 12, 2020)
Jaida Essence Hall is here by default; I simply just haven’t seen her original season. Season 12 is truly cursed, airing at the beginning of the pandemic and having a predator as a finalist that was edited out as the season was airing in real time. Yikes! Looking forward to meeting Jaida in a season not marred in darkness.
7. Trinity the Tuck (All Stars 4, 2019)
Brilliant and logical choice to have the only “double crowning” duo competing together on All Stars All Winners. Who is the true winner of All Stars 4, Trinity the Tuck or Monét X Change? I guess we are about to find out! Personally, I would’ve picked Monét; she swept the floor in the last challenge, destroyed Trinity in the final lip sync, and I just like her more. But if I truly had it my way? All Stars 4 has a top 2 consisting of Monique Heart and Naomi Smalls, with Monique winning. Argue with the wall!
6. Yvie Oddly (Drag Race Season 11, 2019)
Season 11 wasn't my favorite. I watched about 40% of this season, but was pleased to hear that Yvie Oddly walked away with the crown. She was my pre-season pick to win it all, had super memorable and creative runways, and delivered one of the best lip syncs of all time. Witnessing the bar’s reaction to the Yvie Oddly vs Brooke Lynn Heights “Sorry Not Sorry” smackdown was one of the Top 10 gayest experiences of my life.
5. The Vivienne (Drag Race UK Series 1, 2019)
The Vivienne demolished the inaugural series of Drag Race UK. Other than the episode where she lip synced (and let’s face it, every winner needs a bottom 2 moment to show ~vulnerability~), she easily could’ve won every single episode she competed in. A true talent. I’m thrilled to see her competing stateside with her US counterparts.
4. Monét X Change (All Stars 4, 2019)
Oozing charisma, charm, and comedy, Monét X Change is one of my all-time favorite RuGirls. As my Season 10 pre-season pick, and preferred twinner of All Stars 4, I’m happy Monét has the chance to take home a crown of her own. While she’s not my number one pick to win, I hope she at least makes top 4 over Trinity the Tuck to finally settle the score.
3. Raja (Drag Race Season 3, 2011)
Holy shit. RAJA! Fucking Raja. What else is there to say? It’s Raja. The quintessential LA fashion girl returns to the competition a full decade after effortlessly winning the longest and arguably hardest season of Drag Race. And we are better people for it! After Jinkx, I’m most excited to see Raja back; it's just been too long, doll. From America's Next Top Model to the vastly underrated third season of Drag Race, Raja is an icon. But where I really fell for her? Watching Fashion Photo RuView on YouTube back in college - she's also a comfort. Aunty Raja is going to fucking shine and I can’t wait to see it.
2. Shea Couleé (All Stars 5, 2020)
Living in Chicago, it feels blasphemous to not be 100% in for Shea Couleé to bring home the title of Queen of All Queens. Chicago residency aside, I absolutely adore Shea. Season 9 was the first season I really watched live, making Shea the first queen I rooted for in real time. Yes, the eleventh hour Lip Sync for the Crown (thanks, Valentina) was a gag, and Sasha Velour’s win is 100% deserved, but it was still heartbreaking to see my girl go home empty handed. Winning All Stars was always in the cards for Shea, but that’s just the thing. She (deservedly) won All Stars, not Season 9. Can any All Stars winner truly take the title of Queen of All Queens? Maybe if Sasha was competing this season, I might feel differently. While I’ll be THRILLED if Shea wins, especially if she’s in a hometown bar for the finale, she’s not my pick for the Queen of All Queens.
1. Jinkx Monsoon (Drag Race Season 5, 2013)
Hi, Jinkx! It's only natural Jinkx Monsoon is my pick to win All Stars All Winners. After all, Jinkx won the best season of Drag Race, therefore making her one of the greatest winners of all time by proxy. Plus, she's an incredible artist. What a TREAT we are in for this season. Jinkx is comedy, Jinkx is camp, Jinkx is cabaret. Jinkx can do it all AND she has the money to turn it on the runway this time around! There aren’t enough words to describe how ready I am to see Jinkx Monsoon, national treasure, absolutely crush the competition again. This is Jinkx’s season, everyone else is just living in it. Thanks for reading! :)