Titanic didn't deserve the Oscar
// This review was originally posted to my neocities.
I guess Titanic (1997) just isn't for me.
When I was a kid, maybe 5th or 6th grade, a Titanic exhibit came to a city near my small town. The teachers at my school lobbied hard and were able to take us all there as a field trip. That's how I learned about the Titanic, my teachers being all excited, “but first we have to talk about the tragedy”. It wasn't for me. I'm kind of a dork, but it just wasn't my shit. The era seemed trite, the engineering feat of it all was a little over my head, the engineering of the modern equipment (the subs) to go see it made me feel claustrophobic, and the tragedy of it all was just too much for my baby-depression brain to focus on without melting down.
So I also never saw the movie. None of the Titanic stuff was really interesting to me, and I have never been one for a 'rom' unless it is served with a slice of 'com'.
Until now. I watched Titanic, and I guess it's just not for me.
Let's start with what I liked to get it out of the way.
Fuck the rich. Love that energy, and it permeated through this film.
Memes. I didn't realize 'draw me like one of your French girls' was FROM this. I also love the steamy window hand. And I get the door debate now (no, I will not weigh in).
Old Rose. She rocked. Loved the performance. Loved the writing for her. Loved her little 'op' when she dropped the diamond into the ocean at the end. Icon.
Rose's mom. I know she was evil or whatever, but the actor did a really good job
On to the shit that was not for me, or down-right dumb.
First of all. Too long. By the time I got to the end, I felt myself saying, “oh shit, we have to resolve this plot line too.”
Second the love story. My watch experience was significantly hampered by the fact that I do not find either of these conventional hotties attractive. Maybe that's the style of the era (1997) talking, or the fact that they are emulating a era with rigid gender adherence, but I was not into it. Outside of that, I didn't really buy it. I wanted a moment where Leo found out Kate Winslet wasn't actually rich and decided to be with her anyway. He kinda felt like a gold digger to me. Even as he turns away from stealing the necklace, to me it reads that he is waiting for a bigger payday by marrying up. I wanted a moment where Rose liked more than the fantasy of Jack and the fetishization of being poor and free. I also felt like the majority of their relationship was Leo yelling “Rose, over here” and “Rose, go there” while the boat was sinking, and that's not hot. I understand that the movie is about the love story AND the boat sinking, and the run time was to serve both of them, but it ended up kinda muddling them both, to me.
Third, I don't believe the treasure hunter and his motives. His whole character is “I want diamond,” and then Rose shows up, and he's invested in her story, and totally loses the only character trait he had. He never asks questions about “ok, but when did you last see the diamond?”.
Four, I'm not an engineering dork. I don't care about James Cameron's little dork expedition to the wreck. Other than that little submersible implosion, I've kinda always seen this sort of thing as a hobby-horse for the rich, which with a major theme of the movie being, “look at these dumb rich people” really reframes the theme too “rich people should be allowed to do whatever they want. Rich people are not the problem, etiquette is.” Which. Boo. I also do not give a fuck how the boat sank. That one character who's whole job was to explain the engineering to us was so boring and he had so much screen time. Oh my god this movie is so LONG.
Five, why did Rose keep the necklace? The coding at the end of the movie makes me think it was supposed to be a symbol of Jack, but the whole rest of the movie it is a symbol of her bondage to the elite social circle she is a part of. The drawing scene is a fuck you to her captor, she wears the necklace to show it does not control her. But then the second she hits the shore, she's like “cute memory”? Maybe I am a stupid bitch, but she should have sold that shit to make her poor person life in America more comfy. I get that the narrative needed the McGuffin to survive to the end of old Rose's arc, but it just didn't work for me.
Anyway, in conclusion, The Full Monty was cheated at the 1997 Oscars. It is clearly a better film with a more interesting cast of characters, stronger themes, and even a better love story. And they did it all in 91 minutes.