What you can control
I’ve spent the past few weeks struggling with things I can’t control. What makes it harder for me to deal with them is that it has that tiny glimpse of hope that they could be under my control.
This small glimpse had me going in circles during the week, and then I realized that it would never be under my control and had this huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
It happened when I paused, wrote all my feelings around what was happening, realized how much was in my control, and started focusing on that.
Control and Influence
I also had a curious side effect when I started focusing on things under my control. By narrowing my focus, I found how to extend my reach by influencing others in the project.
Also, when I started conversing with others, I noted similar feelings about the project and tried to find as much middle ground as possible.
Being reflective or developing self-awareness is a necessary trait to develop. Careers last a long time, and it becomes a good thing to not burn out due to constantly feeling without control.
Other benefits of self-awareness and reflection help with focusing on what matters or what would be effective.
Control and Busyness
One thing that I’ve been intently trying to get better at is the practice of choosing practical tasks over just keeping myself busy. Sometimes I’ve found myself preferring to “do something,” even if not the best use of my time.
These things happen when I need to prepare myself and my calendar beforehand and end up with a free slot in my day. Instead of figuring out the right task and priority at that time, I choose whatever is easier to do or would make me feel good, like a small win.
Getting a small win might get you over a hurdle or in a better mood, but we must avoid filling our calendar with activities that won’t be effective in the long run.
Control and Ownership
Another interesting thing with control comes whenever we participate in projects. If you’re at a certain level of seniority and wonder, “Why is nobody doing X?” then that person would be you.
That means that some things we didn’t think of controlling now fall under our responsibility, which makes our control area larger. Still, we also must inform other stakeholders and participants that you’re “taking ownership over X.” Otherwise, confusion or problems might arise from unmet expectations.
Your turn
How do you keep tabs on what things you control? How do you manage not to get overwhelmed? Do you have a daily or weekly practice to self-reflect on what is happening? Let me know!
Happy Coding!
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