Optimistic Hoarder: Box 002, Part 1
Box: 002
Part: 1
Provenance: Lahaina, HI
Contents — 20 Books
Instinct: The Power to Unleash Your Inborn Drive by T. D. Jakes
When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi
Power Words: What You Say Can Change Your Life by Joyce Meyer
Mother Teresa: Her Essential Wisdom edited by Carol Kelly-Gangi
Snorkel Maui: Lana'i and Moloka'i: Guide to the Beaches and Snorkeling of Hawai'i by Judy & Mel Malinowski
Madame Pele: True Encounters with Hawai'i's Fire Goddess collected by Rick Carroll
Microsoft Word Made Easy by Rob Hawkins
The Ultimate Diabetes Cookbook from Diabetic Living
Year of Yes Journal by Shonda Rhimes
Best Women’s Erotica of the Year, Volume 4 edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel (2 copies)
Healthwise for Life: A Self-Care Guide for Veterans
We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Betty & Veronica Comics (3 different copies)
All-American Murder: The Rise and Fall of Aaron Hernandez, the Superstar Whose Life Ended on Murderers' Row by James Patterson and Alex Abramovich with Mike Harvkey
Straddling the Line by Jaci Burton
New Pocket Hawaiian Dictionary by Mary Kawena Pukui and Samuel H. Elbert
Blue Mind: The Surprising Science That Shows How Being Near, In, On, or Under Water Can Make You Happier, Healthier, More Connected, and Better at What You Do by Wallace J. Nichols
Ruminations:
My mother had a huge thirst for knowledge. She was incredibly curious and both smart and clever. And she absolutely was not a reader. She didn’t have the focus. She aspired to be, though, as she watched everyone in the household (me and my grandparents) absolutely devour books and I know she felt “inadequate” because of it. She was eternally optimistic that, “maybe she’ll pick up a book” and that she just hadn’t found the right book yet and this is one of the many things that in hindsight has flagged for me as related to some undiagnosed neurospicy-ness that is quite different from my own.
Yet, she bought books and she even worked at Barnes & Noble for a while.
Here are some of my thoughts on the books in this box:
Instinct: The Power to Unleash Your Inborn Drive by T. D. Jakes: She really liked T.D. Jakes and her come-and-go religiosity felt closely related to her optimism. In this book was the receipt from Barnes & Noble with her employee discount. Also on the receipt was her standard caffeine order, a venti white chocolate mocha with an extra shot of espresso.
When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi: She definitely saw this, read the back, and found it interesting enough to maybe be The One™. There was a bookmark in it for Maui Excellent Plumeria Oil. Plumerias were some of her favorite flowers and mine, too. She brought me a [legal] plumeria cutting from Maui in 2015. I still have it. In summer of 2020, we managed to get it to bloom in its little indoor pot in our dark little apartment. It’s like the plant sense we needed some joy that summer and it delivered. Every day I looked at it I cried and I texted my mom so many daily photos. It hasn’t bloomed since, but it’s alive with us here, indoors, in Oakland.
Power Words: What You Say Can Change Your Life by Joyce Meyer: Mom fucking loved Joyce Meyer. I wonder if I have written self-help for years now as a subconscious retaliation to this.
Mother Teresa: Her Essential Wisdom edited by Carol Kelly-Gangi: My mother’s name was Teresa and I had her in my phone as Mother Teresa. When my mother was a child, she wanted to be a nun. She desperately wanted to help people and she is the only person I have ever known who enjoyed working retail and customer service. And she was incredibly good at it, my god. Phenomenal to watch her charm people.
Snorkel Maui: Lana'i and Moloka'i: Guide to the Beaches and Snorkeling of Hawai'i by Judy & Mel Malinowski: She worked for a snorkel cruise company that also did whale watching and dinner cruises. She loved being out on the ocean and she loved being in the water. I don’t know if she ever actually put on a snorkel mask.
Madame Pele: True Encounters with Hawai'i's Fire Goddess collected by Rick Carroll: She was endlessly curious about the place where she lived.
Microsoft Word Made Easy by Rob Hawkins: She had taken some community college courses and I’m sure she used this as a reference, if not a textbook.
The Ultimate Diabetes Cookbook from Diabetic Living: My mother did not cook, but she aspired to!
Year of Yes Journal by Shonda Rhimes: This one made me cry, because it was blank. Every page was untouched. Something about an unused journal left behind when someone dies felt devastating.
Best Women’s Erotica of the Year, Volume 4 edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel (2 copies): Ah yes. My first ever published piece (in a physical book) was smut and it was in this book. I know that my mother convinced the buyer at the Maui Barnes & Noble to order a couple of copies and then she purchased both copies. I do not know if my mother read my story but I do know that smut was one of the only things she would actually read.
Healthwise for Life: A Self-Care Guide for Veterans: This is actually a pretty cool health guide from the VA Health of Hawai’i. My mother was a U.S. Army Veteran and I am deeply grateful she had VA coverage.
We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: I know she actually read this book because she told me and we talked about it. She read it at my recommendation, before the author showed herself as a terf.
Betty & Veronica Comics (3 different copies): Mom loved to read comics and comics were some of the first things I read after picture books. I read A LOT of Archie growing up and mom loved them.
All-American Murder: The Rise and Fall of Aaron Hernandez, the Superstar Whose Life Ended on Murderers' Row by James Patterson and Alex Abramovich with Mike Harvkey: I’m sure she didn’t read this but it does not surprise me that she would pick this up.
Straddling the Line by Jaci Burton: Maybe she read this? She did read smut, but I don’t know if she’d read an entire novel.
New Pocket Hawaiian Dictionary by Mary Kawena Pukui and Samuel H. Elbert: It was an incredibly beat-up copy that it looks like she picked up from a used bookstore but she loved learning new Hawaiian words.
Blue Mind: The Surprising Science That Shows How Being Near, In, On, or Under Water Can Make You Happier, Healthier, More Connected, and Better at What You Do by Wallace J. Nichols: She loved the water and she always had (hence moving to Maui). My grandfather was an excellent swimmer and so was my mother. When she was a child, maybe around 10-ish, the local swim coach wanted her to start training for the Olympics but it would mean early mornings and my grandparents didn’t want her walking to swim practice alone (they both worked) so they said no. As an adult, she would often end up in the swimming pool with all her clothes on. Like, if we were at a friend’s house and they were having a barbecue or something and the kids were in the pool, mom would jump right in, shorts and aloha shirt and all, to play with the kids. Her refusal to grow up made things incredibly hard for me, but she was definitely everyone’s favorite auntie.
Thank you for being here. You can find previous issues of Optimistic Hoarder’s archive. Documenting things like this is hopefully going to give me the motivation to continue going through my mother’s things. I do not promise any sort of consistency with this newsletter and it’s free so, them’s the breaks. Also, these pieces are not heavily edited so if you catch something, no you didn’t.
Consider buying me a coffee. I’m gonna need it. And you can find my other work here.