I swear, spring brings out something insane in me. Everything starts vibrating in technicolour.

Slayyyter's Old Technology and Caroline Polachek's Welcome To My Island have gone platinum on Brain Radio, which is what I call the songs that play on repeat in my head. I can't turn it off or change the channel ◡̈ heaven! Last month I was getting a lot of Alicia Keys and Brittany Spears. My inner child was having a moment, I guess.

We're nearing the equinox, and there's a planetary pile-up in Aries, so everything is jittery and urgent. Are you feeling it? For me, the result is that I have gone from having very little going on to planning my entire album roll-out, finishing treatments for three music videos and diving headfirst into social media (I know, I know… we'll talk about it).

Check this out:

"True vitality is hidden within longing. When you give in to creative passion, it will bring you to the ultimate thresholds of transfiguration and renewal. This growth causes pain, but it is a sacred pain. It would be much more tragic to have cautiously avoided these depths and remained marooned on the shiny surfaces of the banal."

John O'Donohue, Anam Cara

When I read these absolute bars* from John O'Donohue, the sentiment jumped right into my heart. True vitality IS hidden within longing, John! I LOVE longing, striving, working towards, becoming.

I was talking to my bff Steph the other day, about our past releases and the projects that we're working on now. She asked me how I was feeling about the album, which I recorded almost a year and a half ago.

It's complicated, because on one hand I feel SO GOOD about it; mainly the fact that soon it will be out in the world.

On the other hand, all of the ways that I've developed creatively in the intervening years are yelling and waving their arms.

But that is just it, isn't it? Recording music, I imagine much like writing a book or any other act of committing something to "permanence", is a contract.

It's a deal with future you, based on trust and faith, that you will continue to respect the decisions made in the moment of creation.

If we wait until we're sure that future us will never be embarrassed about the decisions we make in the moment, we will be waiting a very long time. That's how creatives get blocked, as I'm sure Julia Cameron would attest. Better to steer clear of that shiny surfaces of the banal, lest we get marooned.

*Dad/anyone else over 60, respectfully: In this context, "bars" means an awesome/clever/poignant statement. It refers to bars in a musical sense, specifically to rap/hip hop music.

xoxo