[LNP] Cometh the Great Speedrun

promise

        October 1, 2026

[LNP] Cometh the Great Speedrun
So we play on, baseball with the current, borne ceaselessly forth into the new—and with your help!

        Before we crack on: I promise I’ve got other articles brewing. Returning to the classroom always takes a decent chunk out of my energy reserves, and it’s been particularly noticeable this year.¹
One of the reasons I’ve been so busy is that I’ve been spending my time planning for the most long-term project I’ve taken on in my decade as commissioner of the Liga Nacional Puertorriqueña: the Great Speedrun.

¿Qué?
Longtime LNP heads know that this project began in January of 1871, when the dragooned executives of seventy-eight neonate teams shared too much air in the expropriated offices of a particularly Hispanophile shipping firm and hashed out the rules of baseball.
Our save is now in 1918, and frankly, we’re a bit bored crawling through years that are getting us nowhere near the modern era. The plan is therefore to accelerate and cover the seasons between now and the present day in as close to a single bound as possible, devoting every spare iota of energy and time we have to the pursuit.
We’ll have to take it slow now and again—after all, we’ve been stuck in 1918 for a week as we untangle the effects of World War I and the flu epidemic on our beloved ballplayers—but if we have our say, we’ll be done with the whole thing by early 2027, if not before.
This does involve a good deal of writing and research, and while we’ll do most of it on our own, there are certain things where the distributed brainpower of the Internet would be most helpful.
How can I help the multiverse’s best baseball?
I thought you’d never ask!
Currently, there are two live polls to help determine the future of the Liga Nacional Puertorriqueña.
First, there’s Poll #1, which covers some general policy questions like uniforms, trade deadline, contract length, and All-Star team numbers. We could’ve split them into individual polls, but it’s no skin off our nose to tabulate longer responses, so we figured we’d save you some hassle too.
Second, take a gander at the following table. Each municipality’s row includes whether it has a mascot, a special concession, and/or any cheering songs. If you notice an ❌, a 0, a 1 or a 2 in your favorite town’s fields, we could use your help populating that team’s page! Check out the Victuals, Vocals and Vitals poll and give us ideas on mascots, special concessions (think Dodger Dog, but more tropical) and cheering songs.
MASCOT FOOD SONGS
Adjuntas ✅ ❌ 0
Aguada ✅ ❌ 1
Aguadilla ✅ ❌ 1
Aguas Buenas ✅ ❌ 0
Aibonito ✅ ❌ 1
Añasco ✅ ❌ 0
Arecibo ✅ ❌ 1
Arroyo ✅ ❌ 0
Barceloneta ✅ ❌ 1
Barranquitas ✅ ❌ 0
Bayamón ✅ ❌ 1
Cabo Rojo ❌ ❌ 1
Caguas ✅ ❌ 0
Camuy ✅ ❌ 0
Canóvanas ✅ ❌ 1
Carolina ✅ ❌ 0
Cataño ✅ ❌ 0
Cayey ✅ ❌ 0
Ceiba ✅ ❌ 1
Ciales ❌ ❌ 1
Cidra ✅ ❌ 1
Coamo ✅ ❌ 1
Comerío ✅ ❌ 1
Corozal ✅ ❌ 0
Culebra ✅ ❌ 1
Dorado ❌ ❌ 1
Fajardo ✅ ❌ 1
Florida ❌ ❌ 1
Guánica ✅ ❌ 1
Guayama ✅ ❌ 2
Guayanilla ✅ ❌ 1
Guaynabo ✅ ❌ 1
Gurabo ❌ ❌ 0
Hatillo ❌ ❌ 0
Hormigueros ❌ ❌ 1
Humacao ✅ ❌ 1
Isabela ✅ ❌ 0
Jayuya ❌ ❌ 1
Juana Díaz ❌ ❌ 1
Juncos ❌ ❌ 0
Lajas ✅ ❌ 1
Lares ❌ ✅ 1
Las Marías ✅ ❌ 1
Las Piedras ❌ ❌ 0
Loíza ✅ ❌ 0
Luquillo ✅ ❌ 1
Manatí ✅ ❌ 0
Maricao ✅ ❌ 2
Maunabo ✅ ❌ 0
Mayagüez ❌ ❌ 0
Moca ✅ ❌ 1
Morovis ✅ ❌ 1
Naguabo ✅ ✅ 1
Naranjito ✅ ❌ 1
Orocovis ❌ ❌ 0
Patillas ✅ ❌ 1
Peñuelas ❌ ❌ 0
Ponce ❌ ❌ 1
Quebradillas ❌ ❌ 1
Rincón ✅ ❌ 1
Río Grande ✅ ❌ 0
Sabana Grande ❌ ❌ 1
Salinas ✅ ❌ 0
San Germán ✅ ❌ 1
San Juan ✅ ❌ 1
San Lorenzo ❌ ❌ 0
San Sebastián ✅ ❌ 1
Santa Isabel ✅ ❌ 0
Toa Alta ✅ ❌ 0
Toa Baja ❌ ❌ 1
Trujillo Alto ✅ ✅ 1
Utuado ❌ ❌ 1
Vega Alta ✅ ❌ 1
Vega Baja ✅ ❌ 1
Vieques ✅ ❌ 1
Villalba ✅ ❌ 1
Yabucoa ✅ ❌ 1
Yauco ❌ ❌ 1
We’ll periodically update the table as we get responses. Can’t wait to see what you all come up with—and as always, let us know what questions you have!
Of course, if someone had hired me over the summer, we wouldn’t be having this problem right now.
We’d have an entirely different set of equally enervating problems, because we live in Hell, but hey. ↩

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	MASCOT	FOOD	SONGS
Adjuntas	✅	❌	0
Aguada	✅	❌	1
Aguadilla	✅	❌	1
Aguas Buenas	✅	❌	0
Aibonito	✅	❌	1
Añasco	✅	❌	0
Arecibo	✅	❌	1
Arroyo	✅	❌	0
Barceloneta	✅	❌	1
Barranquitas	✅	❌	0
Bayamón	✅	❌	1
Cabo Rojo	❌	❌	1
Caguas	✅	❌	0
Camuy	✅	❌	0
Canóvanas	✅	❌	1
Carolina	✅	❌	0
Cataño	✅	❌	0
Cayey	✅	❌	0
Ceiba	✅	❌	1
Ciales	❌	❌	1
Cidra	✅	❌	1
Coamo	✅	❌	1
Comerío	✅	❌	1
Corozal	✅	❌	0
Culebra	✅	❌	1
Dorado	❌	❌	1
Fajardo	✅	❌	1
Florida	❌	❌	1
Guánica	✅	❌	1
Guayama	✅	❌	2
Guayanilla	✅	❌	1
Guaynabo	✅	❌	1
Gurabo	❌	❌	0
Hatillo	❌	❌	0
Hormigueros	❌	❌	1
Humacao	✅	❌	1
Isabela	✅	❌	0
Jayuya	❌	❌	1
Juana Díaz	❌	❌	1
Juncos	❌	❌	0
Lajas	✅	❌	1
Lares	❌	✅	1
Las Marías	✅	❌	1
Las Piedras	❌	❌	0
Loíza	✅	❌	0
Luquillo	✅	❌	1
Manatí	✅	❌	0
Maricao	✅	❌	2
Maunabo	✅	❌	0
Mayagüez	❌	❌	0
Moca	✅	❌	1
Morovis	✅	❌	1
Naguabo	✅	✅	1
Naranjito	✅	❌	1
Orocovis	❌	❌	0
Patillas	✅	❌	1
Peñuelas	❌	❌	0
Ponce	❌	❌	1
Quebradillas	❌	❌	1
Rincón	✅	❌	1
Río Grande	✅	❌	0
Sabana Grande	❌	❌	1
Salinas	✅	❌	0
San Germán	✅	❌	1
San Juan	✅	❌	1
San Lorenzo	❌	❌	0
San Sebastián	✅	❌	1
Santa Isabel	✅	❌	0
Toa Alta	✅	❌	0
Toa Baja	❌	❌	1
Trujillo Alto	✅	✅	1
Utuado	❌	❌	1
Vega Alta	✅	❌	1
Vega Baja	✅	❌	1
Vieques	✅	❌	1
Villalba	✅	❌	1
Yabucoa	✅	❌	1
Yauco	❌	❌	1