babe wake up, the 2024 goop gift guide just dropped
hello friends and family!!
if you only care about trip upd8s please skip the following digression
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some of you may know about my obsession with the goop™️ gift guide that is released every year before the holidays. it’s a very important event that i look forward to every year. goop is a ~wellness~ brand founded by gwyneth paltrow (the og nepo baby) (now that i typed that name out i’m realizing how weirdly it is spelled) that has found itself in a series of unfavorable news cycles over the years due to its recommendations of controversial wellness practices (never forget the jade egg), its general out-of-touchness (potentially mirroring that of its founder gwyn), and its practice of catering content to the wealthiest of wealthy. i do not let any of those stop me from enjoying its holiday gift guides. over the years, the category “Gifts for the one who has it all” has been my favorite catalog to peruse. on an already high budget website, this list provided recommendations for those with no budget?? count me in. some of my favorite recommendations over the years include:
a $10,500 chanel sled (link to article about the outrage)
a whole village in spain (link to another article about the outrage)
a $15,000 24k gold vibrator (link to yet another article about the outrage)
i do believe that goop is in on the bit and seeks out outrageous items to include and i thank them for their diligence. truthfully, i wouldn’t even know where to start looking for any of these items.
i was surprised to see that the 2024 guide does not have a featured Gift Guide for the One Who Has it All section. but it looks like goop is taking some of that criticism to heart and an editor pushed back and re-titled that section to “Forward to Your Significant Other Gift Guide” (but if you look at the url for that page - it was a last minute re-branding of the section because the url contains ‘holiday-gifts-for-someone-who-has-everything’)
some highlights from this year’s gift guide!
a $507 dandelion
$18,150 for forced labor of unnamed italian grandmothers
a $15 butter ornament (for an almond-mom audience)
a $149,000 ammortal chamber (though this obsession of people to buy longer lives is a bit disquieting)
a “price upon request” louis vuitton ping pong table — did not know that a ping pong table was something that could be price upon request
and last but not least, a $15,000 per person “unknown experience”. i can understand paying someone to plan a trip for you but the margins on this venture must be high - perhaps a future career to look into…
if you have any other favorites after perusing the gift guides, lmk ;)
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ok on to promised travel upd8s! since i last checked in i have gotten way more settled into my madrid life (i love living here) and even got to travel to lisbon (san francisco DUPE)!
my life in bullet points & photos:
i am back to being a big coffee drinker (it’s so cheap here and so yummy!!)
the portugese pastel de nata is deeeeelish! it’s a flaky cup filled with an eggy custard and topped with cinnamon (the local way)
lisbon is actually a dupe of san francisco (or vv)
their golden gate bridge was made by the same architect as the san francisco golden gate bridge
lisbon is also a very hilly city on the water
there are cable cars to get around!
the architecture is pretty with colorful buildings
lisboaa! 
pupspotting!
i went for a hike in the tahoe of madrid! unfortunately it was brutally cold and wet but the views were cool and there were many mushrooms and we got to see the prettiest rainbow on the way home!
i also stumbled on a random open air dj set happening outside of the temple debod (old crypt on a hill) — such a good vibe!!
temple derave amirite
vocab:
fatal - disastrous but also in slang it’s kind of used more modernly to be awful
pichi - overalls/jumper
desbunkear - to debunk
they also shorten a gazillion words like:
bicycle → bicicleta → bici
movie → película → peli
birthday → cumpleaños → cumple
pen → bolígrafo → boli
that’s my summary! i am also soliciting updates on your end (in fotos and bullet points) either in response to this email or via text <3 miss everyone! please upd8 me back!!
xx
noa