Can we find comfort in horror stories in hard times?
I’ve been trying and failing to write this letter since Monday, because any good news is constantly tempered by the fact that there’s war happening in Ukraine, as well as a fascist movement using people like me as a battlefield in a culture war. It makes it hard to publicly celebrate anything, both in the internal way of “do these small triumphs mean anything, really?” and in the larger way of “why would anyone care in the face of a tidal wave of bad stuff?"
On the other hand, my trans elders and ancestors valued celebration, even (maybe especially) amid spirited attempts to humiliate, violate, and legislate them out of existence. So FUCK IT. Good things are still happening amid the horrid shit, and we’re gonna talk about both.
Let’s start with a few good things, and their visual accompaniments.
I was a clue in the USA Today crossword. Not only that, I probably frustrated the hell out of hundreds of people who’ve never heard of me and were like “why isn’t ‘nina’ fitting here? wtfffff?????” Hilariously, this has gotten me more family and friends congratulating me than the next item of good news.
DEFEKT has been nominated for the Phillip K. Dick Award, and is longlisted for the Locus award. (I should also point out that it’s also eligible for the Nebula and Hugo, and if you’re able to nominate it, I would personally love that.)
I am teaching a class about writing horror with Atlas Obscura.
Let me repeat. I AM TEACHING A CLASS ON WRITING HORROR WITH ATLAS OBSCURA. Yes, that Atlas Obscura. YES, a class about writing horror. I’ve given workshops on this before, but never a four week class. I am unbelievably amped.
You can see the full class description HERE, but one of the topics that I’m planning on covering in the class is, essentially, writing horror in hard times. When we live in a world where it is hard to be optimistic for the future, or treat the present as anything but the prologue to something worse. It’s been this way for years for a lot of us.
There are a lot of reasons that readers and writers are attracted to horror. It seems to run against common sense — the world is full of horrors, and the more we’re forced to acknowledge it (because we can only ignore it as long as luck and privilege shields us from it), the less we’d want to seek it out recreationally. Right? But the horror genre’s popularity has been rising in popular culture in recent years, not falling.
I remember that prior to the 2016 elections, I wrote less horror. It still lurked at the edges of my stories; I often write towards emotional extremes, discomfiting revelations, and odd transformations, even when I’m not writing about monsters or murders. Even my romantic fanfic proliferated with alien invasions and stabbings and the ghosts of horrible husbands. It just also had silly jokes and love confessions and people boning. That’s my baseline in good times: a healthy mix of evil ghosts and goofiness.
In bad times, I lose any ability to be comforted by gentle fantasy. I lean into the extremes instead, to externalize internal anxieties. I did this as an adolescent, when I sought out Scary Stories to Tell In the Dark, Stephen King, and Tales from the Crypt.
I know people who go in completely the opposite direction, seeking out fluffy escapist fantasy, stories about resilience and optimism and love. (Katie Farris: "Why Write Love Poetry in a Burning World/To train myself to find, in the midst of hell/what isn’t hell.") I don’t think there’s anything to recommend one over the other. We need both in the world. I’ve needed both at different times in my life, but it’s always horror I reach for when I’m already scared.
Of all the theory I’ve read about horror, Isabel Pinedo’s “Recreational Terror: Postmodern Elements of the Contemporary Horror Film” is one that I keep coming back to as I try to understand the horror genre that I grew up with and my relationship to it. She writes:
Horror exposes the limits of rationality and compels us to confront the irrational. The realm of rationality represents the ordered, intelligible universe that can be controlled and predicted. In contrast, the irrational represents the disordered, ineffable, chaotic, and unpredictable universe, which constitutes the underside of life.
This is echoed (or maybe amplified?) by Thomas Ligotti’s “The Consolations of Horror,” where he wrestles with why some of us keep returning to the horror genre, over and over.
Just to see how much unmitigated weirdness, sorrow, desolation, and cosmic anxiety the human heart can take and still have enough heart left over to translate these agonies into artistic forms …The consolation of horror in art is that it actually intensifies our panic, loudens it on the sounding-board of our horror-hollowed hearts, turns terror up full blast, all the while reaching for that perfect and deafening amplitude at which we may dance to the bizarre music of our own misery.
Horror offers catharsis: sometimes in the restoration of a moral order that’s been endangered by the appearance of a monster, and sometimes in reveling its collapse. Sometimes by confirming that someone’s moral order is itself monstrous. (Fuck you too, Greg Abbott.)
And because dancing to our own misery is always preferable than being frozen by it, since horror compels its characters to act. And maybe that's the real reason I keep coming back to it in hard times; to remind myself that there's more ways to wrestle with sorrow, desolation, and cosmic anxiety than being idly consumed by it.
If you want to help out people who are dealing with some inarguably bad times, here are some ways to do that:
This twitter thread includes several Texas-based transgender advocacy organizations that could use your donations and support. https://twitter.com/QueenOfRats/status/1496523958950440961?s=20&t=NX8sNHNWZrAk7bc_wnVzuQ
If you’re not in Texas, check to see what anti-trans bills are currently circulating your state legislature, and start pressuring your officials to cut them off at the pass. https://freedomforallamericans.org/legislative-tracker/anti-transgender-legislation/
If you aren’t trans and maybe haven’t been following the conservative war on transgender youth, Translash’s “Anti-Trans Hate Machine” is an amazing resource to get caught up. https://translash.org/antitranshatemachine/
To stay informed and updated on what’s going on in Ukraine, I’d suggest following this Twitter list of reporters who are on the ground and/or at least know what they’re talking about. If you gotta doomscroll, do yourself a favor and make it with people who aren’t just yelling into the void. https://twitter.com/i/lists/1494327296383021062
I’ve found this list of Ukranian organizations where you can donate funds. I haven’t vetted these orgs or links, so be wise with where you put your money. https://ukrainewar.carrd.co/