Big Final Feelings
I'm not crying, you're crying.
I had washed the dishes and was about to settle on a movie when my phone lit up with messages from Rocco (director) and Amy (producer) telling me to look at Slack, already. No, now, go. Stop what you're doing and look now!
The final cut is done.
I'd seen the rough cut a few months back and it looked great, but the sound wasn't done, the credits weren't on it, and there were some speedbumps in the flow. It was, you know, rough.
It's not rough anymore. It's downright radiant, the light is so good. The scoring is funny and moody. I'm still surprised that the thing I thought wouldn't work actually works and it works well.
My name is on it, right there on the screen in big letters. And for a lot of you getting this email, your name is on it too. I cried watching the credits.
I've said these things before, please indulge me while I say them again. It takes a lot of time and money and people to make a film. This one is a short and it still took a lot of time and money and people.
I don't like to say that creative work is hard. Years ago, I met a marine welder at a party and since then, I have tried to avoid saying, "Being a writer is hard." It's not that hard to sit at a keyboard and type some things.
But it's emotionally challenging and it's hard to make a living and people don't -- won't -- take you seriously. I think I was crying over the credits in a sense of wonder that everyone took this project so seriously.
And in a sense of relief that it's real. Nothing will help you break up with your imposter syndrome like seeing your work become real in the world.
When I was done crying over seeing my name on the screen -- MY NAME IS ON THE SCREEN AND EVERYTHING -- I set myself to crying over your names because you believed this was worth backing. I calmed down and finally decided to go to bed where I did not sleep because I was so crazy excited.
I got a message from Amy the next day. "By the way, buckle up, coz there's a whole new flurry of things to do now that the film is done."
We're looking at screening dates and distribution and I wrote a press release. I'm holding my breath for festival news. I'm okay with not getting into Sundance, but I really, really, REALLY want to get into SIFF. I'm in Seattle, we made the movie here, and nearly all the cast and crew are from here. Notifications go out on April 18th. I'm not a nailbiter but guess who's biting their nails right now?
It looks great, y'all. It works.
Imagine what that feels like! It's magic made real!
I'm not crying, you're crying.
No actually, screw it, I am, in fact, crying.
With so much gratitude,
//Pam