Do I Capitalize This Like A Title or like a sentence?
Some weeks back, writer Nicole Cliffe started one of her signature open question Twitter threads. What's the kindest thing a stranger has ever done for you? I struggled to come up with anything, then had several waves of memories. There's the time a Firestone employee in Hazleton let me stay for two hours after they closed, because I was waiting for a ride when my car broke down. There's the time in the Netherlands a train journey became disrupted and a fellow passenger's mom picked us up to take us the rest of the way to our destination. There's the time a wedding officiant didn't need the hotel room the bride had booked for him, and he heard I needed a place to crash. These were all simple acts. Maybe they slightly flouted some norms, but each of these people knew their gesture would make my life that much easier. The act that rose to the top on my list, though, shares commonalities with these other experiences I've mentioned, and I find myself grappling with why it feels bigger. An exception is that it involves a near-stranger. Perhaps you have some thoughts? Read on.
Six years ago this summer, I was in a bit of a state. Some of you knew me then and can attest to this. My contract at the MPI was coming to an end on August 31, and I was preparing to leave The Netherlands for good. I didn't want to stay in Europe, nor did I have a job lined up anywhere, and so back "home" to the States I'd migrate. My last weeks were a literal hot mess of ice cream gobbling, paperwork, thrift store donations, and (oh, this was a NIGHT) getting locked out of my apartment barefoot during the Vierdaagse, the worst possible time to have anything happen to you in Nijmegen. What a time it was.
(I called a housecleaning service to do a thorough job on my apartment. They were scheduled to come the day before I moved out, and then they cancelled, because why wouldn't they? During my final walk-through, my enigmatic landlady kept tutting, "Dirty, dirty, dirty, Neil..." It was not actually bad, but it wasn't up to Dutch housewife standards, apparently.)
The main point is I don't remember how it happened but a new colleague, Marisa, offered to let me stay at her & her husband Shawn's apartment for my final night in town. We had socialized maybe twice at that point. I felt almost bad for taking her up on her offer! But I did. And she and Shawn had set up their guest room just perfectly for me. I learned that they had a routine of baking a few chocolate chip cookies daily as dessert. It was all gezellig, as the Dutch say, and it felt like a tidy close to a chaotic few days. We're not much in touch now, but I hope they remember the pleasant evening and have some sense of how meaningful their hospitality was to me.
Summer is a time of transitions, big and small. Moving house remains on a quasi-academic calendar for me despite being out of the game for some years now. Summer is beach trips and wedding weekends. Summer is also needing rides and rooms from folks you've just met. Whom have you welcomed recently? Or have you been the stranger who was greeted with compassion?
Reading
Since I last wrote, I don't think I have started any new books. I finished Jayson Greene's Once More We Saw Stars, which was as lyrical and as devastating and as hopeful as I expected. I have read a few pieces about how the Thai government invented pad thai and strategically placed Thai restaurants abroad. Between these and watching Always Be My Maybe, I spend time thinking about authenticity in food cultures.
Since June 17 I've been attempting the 1000 words project. It has been very hard in several ways. First, it's hard for me to make time to do this. I have had a fair bit on my plate at work. It's also the case that 1000 words takes longer to write than 15 minutes, which is my normal daily (generally unachieved) goal. It has also been hard to forgive myself for just jotting down notes, and also recognizing that emails, tweets, and documents galore are writing. I wonder how many words I actually write in an average day when I'm not trying to create 1000 words about one topic. I wrote ~750 words one day as a draft of this newsletter, which simply meant I wasn't trying to draft and edit and send it all in one sitting today. I wrote ~450 words another day in an email to a number of friends asking for help in a particular professional matter. My "best" day was the second day of the project, when I wrote about how once upon a time, I didn't pass my Master's degree exam on the first try. Did you know I have a lot to say about that subject? I do! If you have a daily writing practice, what is it? I'm still generating prompts and attempting to respond to them, and clearly still trying to find a way to make this a habit.
Eating
I've been outside my normal haunts this month, and the list I've compiled for this outlet is a delightful menu. Fiore in Pennsport made for a lovely splurge-date night spot, with amari galore and the best fish I've had in years. I ate dukmandu guk (below) at A&J Wingburger in suburban Columbus, a spot I've meant to try for a while. Imagine a strip mall sports bar diner Korean restaurant. Bingo, that's A&J. People in Philadelphia have been talking about "Pizza Gutt" for ages and I have been lusting after his Instagram posts. Kelsey & I had a double date with friends to get a white circle pie and a pepperoni square, and I would eat that pizza again. In more home-cooked meals, I've grilled halloumi, baked adjaruli khachapouri, and eaten a hasselbacked kielbasa. Oh, and I finally tried the Hungry Pigeon breakfast sandwich which one can order with a hash brown add-on.
Beating
Phish summer tour has started, so I've downloaded some of the shows from it. They're playing across the river from me this weekend, and I didn't buy tickets yet. I might try something Sunday I haven't done at a concert, Phish or otherwise, and roll up looking for an extra. I've also been enjoying a podcast from my friend Chris Esperance, Vibes - Playlist of your Life, and planning out what I'd bring as a guest. Oh, and, a non-music podcast that's been ringing in my ears ever since is the Cabinology episode of Ologies. I crave a rural retreat, but would I really want to own one?
Meeting
I am not currently scheduled to speak much or perform many times in July. Over the 4th of July weekend, CTY has asked me to appear on a panel in Lancaster. And I'll play with The N Crowd at We The People Improv Festival on the evening of July 17. One last podcast recommendation: at some point in July, an episode of the Broad Street Review podcast comes out on which I'm the sole guest!
Deleting
Oh, geez, what to even say here. I'm trying to cut back on dryer sheets? My brother gifted me adorable cactus-shaped dryer "balls" and they help a bit with wrinkles but don't seem to cancel the static. I have to recycle my favorite home office surge protector after some light summer storm flooding. Also, earlier today, I went through cookware and bakeware and was shocked at how many identically-sized saucepans we have. On the upside, I found my pi-shaped ice cube tray!
You're kind for inviting me into your inbox,
Neil
PS Was this issue too long? Be honest.
Six years ago this summer, I was in a bit of a state. Some of you knew me then and can attest to this. My contract at the MPI was coming to an end on August 31, and I was preparing to leave The Netherlands for good. I didn't want to stay in Europe, nor did I have a job lined up anywhere, and so back "home" to the States I'd migrate. My last weeks were a literal hot mess of ice cream gobbling, paperwork, thrift store donations, and (oh, this was a NIGHT) getting locked out of my apartment barefoot during the Vierdaagse, the worst possible time to have anything happen to you in Nijmegen. What a time it was.
(I called a housecleaning service to do a thorough job on my apartment. They were scheduled to come the day before I moved out, and then they cancelled, because why wouldn't they? During my final walk-through, my enigmatic landlady kept tutting, "Dirty, dirty, dirty, Neil..." It was not actually bad, but it wasn't up to Dutch housewife standards, apparently.)
The main point is I don't remember how it happened but a new colleague, Marisa, offered to let me stay at her & her husband Shawn's apartment for my final night in town. We had socialized maybe twice at that point. I felt almost bad for taking her up on her offer! But I did. And she and Shawn had set up their guest room just perfectly for me. I learned that they had a routine of baking a few chocolate chip cookies daily as dessert. It was all gezellig, as the Dutch say, and it felt like a tidy close to a chaotic few days. We're not much in touch now, but I hope they remember the pleasant evening and have some sense of how meaningful their hospitality was to me.
Summer is a time of transitions, big and small. Moving house remains on a quasi-academic calendar for me despite being out of the game for some years now. Summer is beach trips and wedding weekends. Summer is also needing rides and rooms from folks you've just met. Whom have you welcomed recently? Or have you been the stranger who was greeted with compassion?
Reading
Since I last wrote, I don't think I have started any new books. I finished Jayson Greene's Once More We Saw Stars, which was as lyrical and as devastating and as hopeful as I expected. I have read a few pieces about how the Thai government invented pad thai and strategically placed Thai restaurants abroad. Between these and watching Always Be My Maybe, I spend time thinking about authenticity in food cultures.
Since June 17 I've been attempting the 1000 words project. It has been very hard in several ways. First, it's hard for me to make time to do this. I have had a fair bit on my plate at work. It's also the case that 1000 words takes longer to write than 15 minutes, which is my normal daily (generally unachieved) goal. It has also been hard to forgive myself for just jotting down notes, and also recognizing that emails, tweets, and documents galore are writing. I wonder how many words I actually write in an average day when I'm not trying to create 1000 words about one topic. I wrote ~750 words one day as a draft of this newsletter, which simply meant I wasn't trying to draft and edit and send it all in one sitting today. I wrote ~450 words another day in an email to a number of friends asking for help in a particular professional matter. My "best" day was the second day of the project, when I wrote about how once upon a time, I didn't pass my Master's degree exam on the first try. Did you know I have a lot to say about that subject? I do! If you have a daily writing practice, what is it? I'm still generating prompts and attempting to respond to them, and clearly still trying to find a way to make this a habit.
Eating
I've been outside my normal haunts this month, and the list I've compiled for this outlet is a delightful menu. Fiore in Pennsport made for a lovely splurge-date night spot, with amari galore and the best fish I've had in years. I ate dukmandu guk (below) at A&J Wingburger in suburban Columbus, a spot I've meant to try for a while. Imagine a strip mall sports bar diner Korean restaurant. Bingo, that's A&J. People in Philadelphia have been talking about "Pizza Gutt" for ages and I have been lusting after his Instagram posts. Kelsey & I had a double date with friends to get a white circle pie and a pepperoni square, and I would eat that pizza again. In more home-cooked meals, I've grilled halloumi, baked adjaruli khachapouri, and eaten a hasselbacked kielbasa. Oh, and I finally tried the Hungry Pigeon breakfast sandwich which one can order with a hash brown add-on.
Beating
Phish summer tour has started, so I've downloaded some of the shows from it. They're playing across the river from me this weekend, and I didn't buy tickets yet. I might try something Sunday I haven't done at a concert, Phish or otherwise, and roll up looking for an extra. I've also been enjoying a podcast from my friend Chris Esperance, Vibes - Playlist of your Life, and planning out what I'd bring as a guest. Oh, and, a non-music podcast that's been ringing in my ears ever since is the Cabinology episode of Ologies. I crave a rural retreat, but would I really want to own one?
Meeting
I am not currently scheduled to speak much or perform many times in July. Over the 4th of July weekend, CTY has asked me to appear on a panel in Lancaster. And I'll play with The N Crowd at We The People Improv Festival on the evening of July 17. One last podcast recommendation: at some point in July, an episode of the Broad Street Review podcast comes out on which I'm the sole guest!
Deleting
Oh, geez, what to even say here. I'm trying to cut back on dryer sheets? My brother gifted me adorable cactus-shaped dryer "balls" and they help a bit with wrinkles but don't seem to cancel the static. I have to recycle my favorite home office surge protector after some light summer storm flooding. Also, earlier today, I went through cookware and bakeware and was shocked at how many identically-sized saucepans we have. On the upside, I found my pi-shaped ice cube tray!
You're kind for inviting me into your inbox,
Neil
PS Was this issue too long? Be honest.
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