Crying at the Sleepover

It is safe to say that I cried more during the month of May than I had in any month before. Probably more even than the past several years combined, to be honest. I don't have the heart or the intellectual capacity right now to go through it in any way that does the experience justice, but my dad died May 21 after a week in hospice care. We were lucky to have had those special final days time with him, and I'll always be grateful to everyone who supported us in myriad ways. 

I cried a lot as a kid, at times that I now feel like it was over-the-top. It's a reaction I had to a number of “stressful” situations ranging from trivial early morning conflict with my brother to not getting my way in Trivial Pursuit as a tween. (Yes. Yep. No, I know.)  A thread in my youth was being the kid at sleepovers who went home before morning came. It wasn't every sleepover, and it wasn't always predictable what factored it. I did a 10-minute PowerPoint comedy set last summer about my sleepover habit. My parents, bless them, tuned in over Zoom to watch the show. We had a lot to talk about afterwards. I don't recall crying per se at any sleepover, but I do think I was deeply uncomfortable and anxious. And who doesn't like to sleep in their own bed? 

It strikes me regularly now how many of the friends I slept over with faded one way or another from my social life. Keith, who was my first sleepover pal, I can't remember his last name or if he was even in my school the following year. Andy, who was new in middle school, never kept in touch after he moved away a few years later. Those overnight visits felt huge at the time, life-changing.  

For a while I half-jokingly predicted that adult friend sleepovers would make a comeback in the vaccinated world. I don't think that's come true, for me or for anyone else. What are your memories of this childhood phenomenon? If you have kids, what's the deal with sleepovers these days? 

For those keeping score at home, this counts as my May & June newsletter. For those of you who don't track these things, thank you and enjoy this random transmission. (July-September will maybe get their own edition soonish! Maybe!)

Reading:
For work reasons in May, I read Want Me which was enjoyable though it dragged a bit. I tried again/still to read Allie Brosh's Solutions and Other Problems and, ayyy, that was bad timing so I stopped. 

June felt like a barrage of articles. I do miss airport bars. My brother recommended this short piece about how everyday people challenge NBA players to basketball games and... it goes badly. For a week or so, everybody was talking about this New Yorker interview with John Swartzwelder from The Simpsons writing team. If you haven't read it, I really do recommend it.

Eating:
Kelsey & I ate a fair number of treats from Chez Michel in Cape May, including the unnecessarily decadent butter buns. While in Corning, we tried Burgers & Beer (what a name!) which was better than anticipated. One note to myself from May reads simply "Chicken  soup?" and I no longer have a clue what chicken soup that was. I flew some Pizza Plus slices to Puerto Rico; highly recommended travel move.  Closer to home, I had memorable evenings out with friends at Barclay Prime, Lucky's Last Chance, Middle Child, and Glory Beer. Two recipes for blueberry cakes that you should try: Alison Roman's with almonds and Clotilde's. Oh, and I rode around New Jersey for a day eating classic NJ dishes with friends. (The State of New Jersey retweeted my post about that. Wow, okay.)

Beating:
In May, I listened to Django Reinhardt for a week and reconstructed a mix CD I got from a neighbor 12 years ago. I also spent a lot of time with a very-70s playlist for a book I'd read this summer. One of the ways I honored my dad at the end of his life was collecting, through my own memory and asking his siblings and friends, his favorite Hindi and Bengali songs. The care facility had a smart TV in his room; the staff had no idea how to use it. I set it up so that I could play Spotify through it and... it felt like the future in the best way.

Have I previously recommended you listen to Poolsuite for some extremely chill vibes? Their site was a brand of self-care I didn't know could exist.

June had fewer memorable soundtracks, except for the playlist I made to drive around New Jersey and eat.

Deleting:
I got rid of some books in May, mayyyybe? And probably pulled some things from my childhood home's basement, which I now refer to as "my mom's house" and I don't know how I feel about that. 

Retreating:
When I last wrote one of these, Kelsey & I were in Cape May housesitting. We spent a few more days there before we came home to Philly for just three days before we were called up to Corning. A space I used very briefly while in Corning for some reset was the Houghton Land Preserve, which is rather new. After Dad passed, we flew to Puerto Rico for some deep relaxation. June's big win of a restful space was a local swim club that we joined. It was a whirlwind, all of it, as you've probably figured out by now. 

Meeting:
I'm hosting an upcoming episode of the First Person Arts #US podcast and also November's Five People One Moment series. I'm on the latest Playtesting podcast with an improvised TTRPG, fun! Probably other stuff on the horizon shortly? Ask me for specifics!

My computer's at 10% battery. Good night!!! I'm glad to finally hit Send Now on TinyLetter.com.

Neil