The weather this summer has been lackluster, to say the least. When we haven’t faced awful heat and draining humidity, we have been under a barrage of thunderstorms. Any attempts at properly enjoying the past few months have been squashed by these weather patterns. I’ve no motivation to head into the woods only to wade through a river of my own sweat. I most certainly won’t force Emmie the pup into joining, despite her proper adamance otherwise. She’s only fourteen pounds, after all, and I fear prolonged exposure to the heat, paired with miles of hiking, would do her only harm.
So, I have isolated myself inside, going out only when I am able to sit on the porch without immediately dehydrating. It’s a shame, seeing how I have also neglected my photography. There are projects I want to pursue but told myself it wasn’t wise to go into the woods. Before I knew it, it’s the middle of August and I’ve not gone camping once. Worse than last year, which I felt was quite poor at the time. If only I knew.
The harsh reality, if I allow myself to face it, is that I have avoided the woods simply because I wanted to. My desire to photograph has been largely nonexistent, and my personal life has been a whirlwind I cannot seem to escape from. Normally I would dive headfirst into nature in an attempt to assuage these emotions and heal. Instead, I chose to waste away.
Emmie the pup is cuddled between my legs. The lights flicker here and there. The sound of heavy rain fills the room. A flash of lightning and a boom of thunder. Only time will tell if the power goes out. Part of me hopes it does.
At least then I would not be so distracted by my technology. Perhaps I could think clearly for more than a few moments at a time. Imagine what I could accomplish if that were the case, if my mind was cleared from the storm that’s haunted it for so long. This storm that shows no signs of giving up, that only allows a little light to pilfer through, just enough to provide a bit of hope before snatching it away.
These are all just excuses. There’s no reason why I must wait for the power to go out in order to write, nor should I allow the weather to prevent me from healing in nature. If I sweat a bit, I sweat; if it rains, it rains.
Maybe this missive isn’t entirely on-target for this pop-up, but it’s what I needed to write, what I needed to tell myself — and perhaps you need to hear it as well.
Sometimes we allow the storm in our head to grow too large, to the point of overwhelm. We become debilitated by our responsibilities, and we forget to take time for ourselves, to enjoy what we enjoy. Allow this to be a reminder. If nothing else, allow this to challenge your thinking. Perhaps there’s something in these 500-odd words. Perhaps not.
The storm has lulled.
— C