The Answer, Of Course
Is coffee
Of course, the answer isn’t coffee, although that didn’t stop me from a few cups strategically imbibed at various times of the day. While coffee can keep the legs moving, it won’t provide that restorative break from six second graders screaming in my ears, kicking my drivers seat, complaining about where their ball landed and whether the Top Golf pinpoint laser system accurately gave them the points they wanted even though they only hit the ball 4 feet and it probably landed on some dude’s head the floor below us even as they spill soda all over the ground and I stick to it while trying to juggle hitting my food minimums and destroy them with my amazing golfing.
Nope. Coffee wont fix it. Only a nap will do, but it is off the table. So the solution is to remember that a nap isn’t just about the literal rest. It’s about that deep reservoir of mind control we have attained through the practice. It’s the 60 seconds hiding in the bathroom stall and allowing the mind to go blank. No meditation instructor whispering in your ear, no self-soothing mantra which in any case would just sound like the loud noises the second graders were screeching. Sixty seconds at a time of that complete mind blankness that has been practiced, with the promise of a flex the next day when the kids are back to being someone else’s (read: their teachers) problem.