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June 12, 2023

Epic Mega Couch Out-of-Town Guest Cross-Time Zone Flex

They said it couldn't be done

Wow. A lot of action.

This tale begins on Tuesday night, when I flew from Philadelphia to Denver, a flight I’ve made countless times over my 43 years. But there were three different things about this flight, each of which impacts the story I’m about to tell you.1

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I didn’t sleep on the flight out, and by the time we got back to Clown’s home in CO Springs, I was spent. I slept like a rock that “night” but still woke up on something approximating east coast time — so when 11am Denver time rolled around, I was wiped. Clown went to grab a shower, and I offered Grizz the first shower in the guest bathroom we shared. I figured I had about 20 minutes on my hands and decided to go for it: enter the epic mega couch out-of-town guest cross-time zone flex.

Now that’s what I call a couch!

While the Clown family graciously hosted me on a generally comfortable air mattress in the basement, I knew that this wouldn’t satisfy my need for restoration and decided to go for a nap on the mega couch. I put on my go-to napping cheat code, cobbled together a pillow regime, and set a timer for 20. And what a 20 it was!23

Could I have gone for another 5? Sure, but no regerts!4 Some more napping5 and one nitro cold brew later, I was sound as a pound and ready for the night to come! And what a night it was…more tomorrow.

1
  • I flew out at night (departed 8pm ET)

  • I was meeting a friend at the airport

  • I left my family to fend for themselves amidst Canadian wildfire smoke (everyone is fine)

2

Interestingly, this nap took place in the liminal zone: a flex in Denver time, a standard post-12pm nap on East coast time. I‘ll leave for you to decide whether this constitutes a flex. This brings to mind a similar question: what is the sound of one hand clapping?

3

Hen described the guest flex as follows (quoted verbatim from the TAENR):

Guest flex is the ultimate flex

Like, I know I came here to hang out with you, but I need to nap so I’m going to do it

Or better yet, want to nap

4

As a wise man once said, “Hindsight is 20/20, my friend.”

5

We hiked the Garden of the Gods later in the day, and I followed that with a brief car nap, followed by a 30-minute hip-hop instrumental mega couch nap later in the day. What a day for napping!

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