Can't Sleep 2
Won't sleep
OK, so where was I? Oh yeah, what’s it like when I actually fall asleep?
When I lie down for a nap, my thoughts are usually going a mile a minute. This is something I can’t help but notice — maybe it’s the years of mindfulness practice — and try not to fight. I do my best to just let the thoughts swirl around, which is where my napping “tell” comes into play: I know I’m headed in the right direction when my thoughts suddenly just start to get…well, a little weird. I’ll have to consult Dr. Sara Mednick’s book to see if this is a thing for other people — it’s a big one for me.
I’ve experienced the feeling before in another arena. In a past life (2005-2010), I was a corporate bankruptcy attorney. Things got incredibly busy during 2008 when the Great Financial Crisis began to kick off, and I was overworked, overstressed, and generally unhappy to the point that I wasn’t able to stay asleep — I remember literally manipulating Excel spreadsheets during my dreams.
So I went to the doc, who gave me four Ambien CRs (controlled release). They were a godsend — you take one, conk out, then get another dose released a few hours later, helping you stay asleep. Not wanting to make them a habit, the doc backed me off to regular Ambien, and I noticed that when I took one, my thoughts would get really…weird…just before I’d pass out.
Weird how? More on that next time…