Moon Memo: Year of Focus
Good Morning
Hello from mid January in the little blue house, Portland, Oregon, United States of America, North America, Planet Earth, Sol System, Milky Way Galaxy. Unemployment is paying out today. Job interviews are happening. Feeling healthier. Listening to weird ass music in the early mornings. "Misha's weird music is on...that means I should leave her alone." My dyke husband said that this morning. I feel so seen and loved.
Spent yesterday in a coffee shop thinking about goals for the year. Spending today writing to you folks.
Job interview went well on Monday. I have another next Tuesday. Things are purring along.
Hello from Misha Lynn Moon, your friend.
The Year of Focus
My brother Shane, when he's not using it, turns off his phone. No one can get in contact with him without his permission. I like that. I may start following his lead.
Make this the year of focus.
Focus on what I'm doing right now. Be willing to be unavailable for a while. Turn off the phone. Close communication. Let in less signal than I have been. Get things so I can think and be bored and ok with that. Get work done. Get more writing and thinking done.
Real world interaction.
No one can get to me except for when I want them to get to me.
I've been letting myself be defined by too much communication and too much rage for a long, long time. What if, instead, I just made things a little quieter. A little softer. A little more focused.
Live in notebooks and keyboard. With friends in the flesh. Work when you are working. Play when you are playing.
The year of focus.
Turn off the phone when I'm at a coffee shop. Or leave it in the car.
Take apps off of computers that are there solely to alleviate boredom. Define space. Be present more.
The world is about to explode with misinformation and horrors. I can be conscious that they are there, and not be defined by them when I'm doing the work to make the world a better place.
I'd rather be in a notebook than in my phone.
I'd rather be watching sumo with my husband than be on my phone reading about The President/the Wildfires/the continued slaughter and starvation in Gaza. It's important to know your world, but it's more important to be present in it.
The year of focus.
Ask questions when I'm doing things:
Am I present?
Am I distracted?
What is distracting me?
Get that out of my head, and try to get back to what I'm doing.
Am I on my phone? Why?
What does this room smell like?
What does this coffee taste like?
What is the music around me?
Do I need this window open right now?
Am I enjoying myself?
I like sex because it demands focus. I like movie theaters because all I can do is watch the film. It's the social contract. No phone. No talking. Just watching.
We are all so lonely. We are all so bored. Maybe it's ok to be lonely and bored, because I want to enjoy the company of my lovers and friends when I'm with them.
The year of focus.
Music
Klaus Schulze lived the art life. Over 100 albums in a lifetime. Played with Tangerine Dream. Created sequencing in music. One of the foundations of Ambient music. Died 2 years ago, basically only lived in a studio, but here is the work.
Also his set up makes me so jealous. Look at this. This is how to do your work.
Married
Still married. Still liking being married.
Made dinner for Jade last night. Simple stir fry noodles. We ate it while watching sumo. What a lovely way to spend an evening, rooting for your favorites with a hopefully long term partner.
I'm beyond blessed.
Where two or three are gathered
Ride home from a T4T hang out, a friend and her girlfriend. "Wanna come up?" And we tangle in her bed, me and her and her girlfriend, and our soft estrogenated bodies warm together. We can ignore wildfires. We can ignore the impending doom of presidents who want us to disappear. We can find each other together here, one flesh for a second.
I'm beyond blessed.
Outro
"I try to give myself permission to write out of nothing other than an interest in listening. I take it on faith that writing poems might help me cultivate that skill. My interest isn't abstract. I've spent much of my life witnessing people I love listen enough to collect evidence to justify their hardened understanding of one another. Or so it's seemed to me. What I know more certainly is how often I have found myself falling-easily, thoughtlessly-into hearing just what I expect to."
Mary Syzbist.
It's time to listen. To shut up and listen. To focus on listening and being a human. To do the good work of community and friendship. To let go of fear. To give yourself something to live for.
Love you to bits.
Misha Lynn Moon
