Moon Memo: Reading, Writing, and Bunnies
Good Easter from the Foster-Powell triangle, where I spent about an hour driving to every coffee shop I could think of, trying to find a place I could read and write for a while. Every single place was 30 people deep for every table. I guess that Portland, that famously godless city, celebrates the resurrection of Our Lord by going to brunch, or drinking powerful coffee.
I ended up going through the McDonald's drive thru and getting two large coffees, Double Cream/Double Sugar, and I'm back at my set up, writing to you.
An Announcement
I will be reading at the Multnomah Arts Center next saturday, April 26th, from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. Well, not just me. 10 Gender Diverse poets. It's a murderer's row, including:
1. [Kim Thompson](https://www.eyerightwords.com/)
2. [Milo Muise](https://www.milo-muise.com/)
3. [Déy Rivers](https://www.deyrivers.com/)
4. [Percy Wise](https://www.instagram.com/percywise/)
5. [Stephanie Adams Santos](http://www.obscurobeach.com/)
6. [Julián Jamaica Soto](https://www.uuworld.org/articles/poem-the-butterfly-effect-rev-juli%C3%A1n-jamaica-soto-unitarian-universalism)
7. [Jennifer Perrine](https://www.jenniferperrine.org/)
8. [Forest Svendgard-Lang](https://www.instagram.com/forgetmesnots/)
9. [Misha Lynn Moon](https://www.instagram.com/poemsbymisha)
10. [Ami Patel](https://amipatelwrites.com/)
Multnomah Arts Center is located at 7688 SW Capitol Highway, Portland, OR 97219.
I'd love to see some of you there. It's going to be fun.
Here's the flyer:
**Brave**
The last week was busy. I am heading into work time, so that means that I am trying to fill the time seeing people that I care deeply about. See them before the time disappears, and I am unable to. So I am scurrying to all the different places they gather themselves: Apartments and coffee shops. Sex clubs and bedrooms. Filling the days with people and breathe.
A lot of people think that I am somehow special by how I can manage being social. I don't really have a lot of desire to be outrageously social. I just am. I find the people that I want to be with, and I let myself be a part of their world. There is nothing special about me. I am just me.
Everyone wants me to somehow be wise. I'm no wiser than most girls. I am just a girl that wants to live more in the world. So I try to get to know more people in the world.
I don't think that there has ever been one scene. I don't think there really is one scene. I think there are people. And there are the people that you want to get to know. So you go to the places those people are: online, irl, etc. You welcome them into space, and you let them live their lives around you. You say hello. You have to be a little fearless. Or you need to find your small group, and be a part of them.
It takes risk. If you are not allowing yourself risk, or the chance for pain, you are not going to make a world for yourself. That's just a fact.
We are all traumatized. I was in the closet for years. I lost my world. I broke it in half. I had people treat me very badly. I was raped. I was abused. But I did my part. And I'm grateful that I did it. Because I risked it all, and here I am. The trauma is part of my story. But it is not all my story. The rest is there, too. Brilliant, and full of pleasure, and delight, and heartbreak, and wonder.
How brave was I going to be?
This brave.
And I'm better for it.
Addiction
I have two people in the hospital right now. One of them overdosed on hormones. Another mixed her hormones with amphetamines and snorted them. Both are sectioned on suicide watch. I've met one of them in real life. One is an online girl, currently on terf island. I assume that the recently passed UK supreme court shit has something to do with it.
When I came out 8 years ago I didn't expect that I would still be watching people slip into the darkness. Do insane things in the face of the Pandaemonium. But here we are. And it sent me spiraling.
I haven't used alcohol in a long time. I haven't taken a hard drug in many many years. I smoke pot now and then, and feel bad about it a little bit. Because any kind of substance use feels like a failing to me. But with the current administration blocking trans people from entering this country, and deporting citizens, and being vehemently anti trans, I'm sure we are going to see more drug use, as a coping mechanism, as an escape from the horror. And I can't blame these people. I can't. And I won't.
But I'm still watching friends and others slip into the darkness. And I'm tired. And I don't know how to save anyone.
I took the partner of one of the girls out to a park yesterday. Held her and stroked her hair. Told her it was going to be ok. Half believing it.
I want to believe it.
Some Poems and Pictures from the last few weeks
Outro
It's funny what you can't let go of. Jesus and I aren't on speaking terms, but I feel a lot of love for Easter. Saw a bunch of ladies leaving the Chinese Baptist Church down the block, and I wanted to join them. Maybe one of them would have welcomed me like their daughter. I don't know.
I hope you can find some joy in the spring time. I love you all a lot.
Misha