Moon Memo: New Job, New World
may 3, 2025
Hello from Saturday. I have written a poem. I am drinking coffee. I am very tired.
This is a moon memo about work. This is me talking about work. This is me talking about my hopes about work. This is me writing about what I hope work will be about.
Last night, I went to Sonder, a listening bar here in portland. Read the same Poetry book that I read when I'm feeling stressed for years. Decompression protocols activated. Listened to house music very loudly. I was the first person there. It was italian jazz then. I may make it a weekly trip. It's nice to have a place to decompress after a long week of work.
It's moving between rain and sun this weekend. Not a lot on the calendar. I'm happy to have some quiet after a lot of new stuff.
Here are some thoughts.
April 23, 2025
Hello from the back porch of Slingshot Lounge, where I am writing a moon memo so I can pretend that I’m being productive.
My first day of the new job is on Monday. I am already starting some “getting ready for work” protocols. I’m getting up an hour earlier than I have been (Sabina is probably blown away by that. “How much earlier can this bitch be getting up??? She’s already awake before the sun!!!”), around 5:15 or so. This has been my usual wake up time since I was a little kid. We had chores in the morning, and an early rush to take my grandfather to work. So we would wake up early, and bundle into the car to read or dose off while granny drove us in the freezing winter. In college, I was a custodian in the early mornings, so I was up at 5 a.m. for my shift. Then a quick breakfast and off to classes. And as a teacher, I was up early to write, so that I could say that I was still doing my most passionate work before any other. Evenings never were good for writing, because the rest of the world was awake. Early in the morning, no one else can bother you.
I just got done speaking about Kink and Freedom with my friend Ivy. Ivy was the first trans woman I was friends with. She welcomed me into her home for roleplaying games when I was still a confused lonely queer person, just in Portland for the first time. She taught me a lot about what I did and did not want from my transition.
One of the things I wanted was freedom. Freedom to be my whole true self. And for a long time I set unreasonable conditions on that. Thanks to teaching, I had to live as a respectable queer. I had to be quiet about the parts of myself that I wanted to have. I had to be the kind of good trans girl that was respectable enough for other teachers and the parents that we served.
Freedom took a back seat to safety.
I’ve been out of the classroom for almost 3 years now. We are heading into my 3rd summer where I am not on vacation. That I’m not recovering from hiding in my self imposed closet. Because as much as I became myself as a trans woman when I came out, I kept a lot of myself hidden because I had to be respectable. I had to be safe for kids.
I am a kinky trans woman. I’m a kind hearted sadist. I like sex. I really like sex. I am married but also have play partners. I am non monogamous. I refuse to hide that anymore.
At Outside In I was able to embrace my whole trans queer kinky self. I know that at the humane society I’ll have to be a little more professional. But I refuse to go back into a closet. So we’ll see how this job goes.
Day 5-May 2
Outside of my window there are bald eagles. Around the grounds are a bunch of bunnies. And on campus there is the pet cemetery. And in one of the graves is an orangutan. Her name is Peggy Borneo. There is a story, I'm sure. She is the queen of the pet cemetery.
Everyone is so nice. Very polite. These are service people. They are doing a job that almost everyone is behind. But this mostly could be because I work for People and Culture (Human Resources). They are a chatty bunch, which for my matter of fact brain is a little much as I'm learning new skills. But it's better than the absolute crushing despair of working at other places I've been. Lack of catastrophe.
I'm learning how attendance works. How to have really high quality ticketing systems. They are learning that I am trans, and that I love wrestling, and that my spouse Jade is a hoot, and puts up with my bullshit.
I've spent much of my days wandering around, and learning new spaces. I think I've met the other 3 trans women in my midst. I wish I could be friends with all of them.
Today, I talk to my supervisor. She told me about her years of being a cheerleader. And her military experience. She is from Florida. But she also has pride flags everywhere.
"You've personalized your desk so much! I can't believe it!" I look up at my 3 queer wrestlers, and my Gamera, and my picture of Jade (my spouse. You can't say Dyke Husband). This is my space. This is who I am.
Outro-May 1
Pulled into the parking lot, and saw bunnies this morning. Also watched the crows do their dance. Got lost in the hallways, but less lost.
I think I've got this.
Love to you all. I'm glad to be doing work again. I'll be happier when life feels more stable.
Love and stuff,
Misha Lynn Moon