A Flaw in the Chronology — mnchrm vol. liii
Hello, fellow drifters. I woke up early today (though not as early as intended, of course) with the determination to write fiction. This year, I’ve put so much energy into writing and placing pieces of criticism or non-fiction (not much luck with this, still) that the fiction has sort of taken a back seat.
Recently, I’ve been reading two books on writing: HOW FICTION WORKS by James Wood, and FROM WHERE YOU DREAM by Robert Olen Butler. HOW FICTION WORKS is a really incredible book not only for writers but for readers and aspiring critics as well. I’m not all that far in FROM WHERE YOU DREAM YET, but it has been a positive motivating factor to sit at the computer expressly to dream, again; rather than to sit and think (Unlike Butler, I’m not so sure yet these are mutually exclusive.)
Anyways, I woke up, walked to the computer, and sat down. And realized I could do nothing. It was like I’d never written a word of fiction in my life; just like Butler said would happen. I didn’t just give up, of course. I hadn’t brought my phone with me, so no escape there. I’d even turned off my second monitor, so it was just myself and my word processor. I ended up tweaking the first chapter of my manuscript which I still feel sort of good about, and then realized a flaw in the chronology of my book. Somehow, it just never occurred to me before.
I guess all this is to say, that like most things, writing fiction is a process, and I need to get back into the swing of it. Though, waking up with the express intent to write fiction, trying to do that for an hour or so first thing in the morning, before showering or eating breakfast or whatever, was a really nice experience; gonna try and keep that up.
I know I’ve written about this before, but it’s my newsletter, I’ll write about the same shit again and again if I want to: Nils Frahm is so good. Specifically, I was struck today by his artistic choice to leave in all the sounds of production in so many of his recordings, even on a studio track like MY FRIEND THE FOREST. The sound of him sitting, shifting, moving his hands across the keys, the weight of the keys themselves… it’s all so sublime.
Of course, he could cut that out if he wanted to. He could edit around it, or change the way he records to eliminate this, but he chooses not to. It’s like Gould singing along to Brahms. Think about why Frahm chooses to leave those in, what it would be like without, what he’s trying to say.
Last week, I went to a talk given by Ben Lerner, one of my favorite writers, whose book THE TOPEKA SCHOOL I reviewed for The Chicago Review of Books. If you follow me on Twitter, I am sure you are sick of hearing about it now. But, bear with me just a little longer.
For someone who’s reputation in literary circles is primarily about stereotypes of the MFA system in which he operates, and the conception he’s pretentious, I found him very warm and generous with his time and answers. (I’ve taken to describing people and things as warm a lot more often; I blame Adam Juskewitch.) He was very receptive to Srikanth Reddy, his interlocutor, answering his questions and responding to more general suggestions of topic.
After, he stayed to sign books. I went through the line twice, waiting to have my books signed the first time, and wanting to ask him a question without the pressure of the line the second. He was very kind (my question was about the discovery of voice and the difference between written and spoken voice and how it differs from fiction to poetry), and his answer very informative. I did a write-up about the talk which will be in the Chicago Reader soon, so look out for that.
Did you notice the new dividers? What do you think? Love ‘em, hate ‘em?
Some of you called for better, prettier dividers; this is perhaps more jarring than intended, but I’m trying them out. Let me know what you think!
I joke about being anti-social, and think about myself as something of a loner. I like being alone, doing things by myself. I don’t usually have difficulty keeping myself occupied, or working on the things I’m interested in without any external guidance. But all this can lead to a sort of isolation.
I guess this is to say I’ve had a pretty lonely weekend. My girlfriend went out of town, and I was left to my own devices. For most of Saturday, I didn’t barely know what to do to fill in all the time. I went to a diner for breakfast, bought a book, and got groceries. Of course, a big part of this can be attributed to simply not having that near-constant presence for a few days. But I think it goes beyond that.
Part of it is that a lot of my hobbies and interests are sort of singular, or can be: writing, running, reading, playing narrative video games. I go to a lot of anime films in theaters alone, and it seems like the vast majority movie-goers are in big groups with their friends, and something about that does appeal to me. Though of course, most social activities or even just hanging out leaves me feeling drained.
Though I may joke to the contrary, I do have friends. I could have called someone to hang out or get coffee or see a movie or something. So why didn’t I? Why do I often feel like it’s difficult to put in the effort, or that people aren’t meeting me halfway?
This is hard to write, and I’ve sort of lost the clarity of thought I had a few days ago. I’m not sure. I’ve got to think on it more, but I will.
I got super behind on my Japanese kanji reviews, and my anime backlog, but am finally starting to work my way through both. I haven’t made any headway into this season’s anime yet, so I’ve got a ways to go. I’ve been watching the rest of GRANBELM, which I said might be my “dark horse” pick of the season a while ago.
This show keeps getting better and better. It rips. Such a good twist on the tropes, somehow incorporating elements of both magic and mechs, great animation, and not shying away from the darkness like it could. Check it out.
That’s all I’ve got for this week, folks. Still trying to get back into the groove of writing these weekly, so I appreciate your patience and for sticking with me.
If you want to support this newsletter, I’d love for you to send it to a friend, or share the link.
Hope you’ve gotten off to a good week. The year is winding down, but there’s still plenty of time to work on something, start something new, or reflect on how it went.
Fight on, friends.
Your faithful commander,
— I