Drag
Prologue
This last weekend, I was in New York City for the second annual Crossword Con, run by one of my dear friends, Brooke. She needs no introduction here. You’ll be able to see videos of the talks sometime in the future on the PuzzMo YouTube channel. A lot of good talks on the interplay of technology and creative endeavors. A lot of pondering on the inherent mutability of language. A lot of cool people discussing a wide range of intersections.
At the after party, I get to talking with two constructors about a seed that had sprouted in my head during the con. A single word sprawling in a twisted knot across axons.
One of my first puzzles with Brooke was TAG TEAM (this link goes to an old entry of blog run by Sally, who does daily commentary on the USA Today crosswords now as a part of the USA Today canon.). There is a part of me that is hesitant to spoil an almost three year old puzzle and spoil a potential future puzzle, but anyways, the trick was that each of the themed answers was clued “Person doing some tagging.” Language is fun like that.
1) Smoke
I have this habit that I picked up… I don’t even know how long ago at this point. Maybe high school. Maybe college? The vague origin is that I have always had a fascination with noir, the hard boiled detective, the cynical protagonist, the femme fatale, the mystery. I think part of it was because of Brick.
I think part of it was Cowboy Bebop, Lucky Number Slevin, Watchmen, Blade Runner, Twin Peaks. I’m pretty this list could go on for a while and the fascination has continued to this day. One of my favorite comic is The Good Asian by Pornsak Pichetshote and Alexandre Tefenkgi, which I will always take the opportunity to plug.
The point of all of this is that for whatever the source, I have taken up this habit of pretending to smoke, of taking a [drag].
I picture a cigarette between my right index and middle fingers, put it to my lips and take a deep inhale and a long exhale. I do this while walking. I do this while standing at the street corner. I do this while staring into the horizon, wondering what why this is something I do.
I’ve smoked something twice. The first time, I did not understand the concept of inhaling and exhaling the smoke so I ended up swallowing it. The second time went better. It’s nothing something I plan on making a habit out of it. My mom died of lung cancer. I’m pretty sure she’d come back to haunt me if I did. By something about the mimicry of noir protagonist, deep in thought, trying to piece together the last few pieces of the puzzles. Something about that speaks to some part of me.
2. Queen
A couple weeks ago, my friend Kat introduces me to a new musician, SASAMI. She had just released a new album, and one of the tracks Kat thought would be perfect for a lip-sync performance for a [drag] queen.
I take a listen and immediately see the vision. I wonder the effort it would take. To dress up, to perform, to sync. I never got into [Drag] Race. I am a big fan of competition shows, but never quite delved into that whole world outside the occasional clip and research sparked by The Traitors. I think Tom Holland and Channing Tatum’s performance on Lip-Sync Battle somewhat frequently.
There is a curiosity with the performance of [drag]. The performance of femininity. The celebration of it. The unclear etymology of the term.
There is something to be said about performance. There is something to be said about intrinsic property.
On the subway back to my hotel, someone tried to bait me into a beating, throwing slurs and taunting me. My queerness, my nonbinary-ness apparently discernible by… a cardigan? A general vibe? I do not know. I ignored him and made it back without issue. I was just me. I almost would have understand more if I had been wearing my mask and associated mask chain.
But I wasn’t. I was just… me.
3. Air Resistance
What falls faster? A feather or a rock?
In a vacuum, they fall at the same rate because that’s how gravity works. However, we don’t live in a vacuum. We live in context. We live in a world of resistance, specifically air resistance or, you guessed it, [drag].
Everything in context of everything else. A recurring theme. What does it mean to resist? What does it mean to flow? What [drags] us down? What uplifts us?
Earlier this year, the algorithm introduces me to Rainbow Kitten Surprise. I became enamored with the band after hearing It’s Called: Freefall. I discover their lead singer is trans. There is something reassuring about this knowledge.
Epilogue
Maybe this is the foundation for a puzzle. Maybe this is just an ephemeral piece of nonfiction that will only exist for as long as the servers are running. A guided, partial meditation on the word [drag].
But most importantly, these are my words.