All Resolutions Are Arbitrary To Begin With, But There Is Still Power In Them
And you probably weren't expecting a sequel so soon.
I woke up one day in September and said “fuck it, I’m going to write even more.”
There was no singular impetus, no individual pebble that became an avalanche. It was an idle thought that struck a resonate chord. It was a decision that I have dutifully followed through and also expanded because this is what I do. I write. I compile. I do the same thing over and over in an attempt to get incrementally better at it until I reach a point where I try something.
The irony of being a resolute person is that I am not the type to let arbitrary solar cycles decide the course of my actions, i.e. I don’t typically do New Year’s Resolutions. That said, I did stake one back in 2019 and made a wish on a lemon pig called Abner who also shoulders a hefty responsible for the mess that was 2020. Not entirely his fault I’m sure, but lord.
I wanted to write a comics script that year (2020). I did not end up writing a comics script that year. I did try, but in the efforts I mostly discovered that I didn’t think in panels. I did think in structure spaces, ever expanding schemas, but not panels. In the haze of that year, I reconnected with friends. Carved out spaces in Discords like it was my job (and arguably, it was and still is my job). I got into crosswording super casually. I went a little feral. Consumed an even more excessive amount of media than usual (which honestly, impressive and terrifying). Ended 2020/started 2021 fulfilling a SMART goal. Now SMART goals have several iterations, but the one that the e-nklings community found at the first was “Specific, Measurable, Assignable, Realistic, Time Based” which is how I ended up being the first of twelve person to take a shower with my clothes on which as far as goals go, is weird, but technically smart.
It became a *thing*, and my friend Jesse coordinated a concerted effort to make a whole calendar because if nothing else I and my friends commit to bits. Although, it did take a while to do so.
And the tradition carries forth to do this in weird ways, as I did get an email from my buddy Adam informing me that I was going to be shouldering several resolutions and you know what? I see the gauntlet thrown and I accepted it.
Inadvertently, I’ve spent the better part of 2024 “getting my shit together” for lack of more nuanced phrasing. Finally got my office clean enough that I can see my floor and have a workshop table. Finished a multi-year project that involved culling, bagging, boarding, and labeling all my single comics and putting them into a nice rotating shelf.
I replaced my couch and my wallet. I purged my closet of clothes that didn’t fit. I got clothes that did fit. Learned to style or at least style a little bit better.
It was not my intention to get all of this done at the tailend of 2024, but it just sort of happened and there is something appropriate about that. Arbitrary, but still powerful.
Going into 2025, I don’t have specific resolutions. Hell, I lack the vague aspirational that became Twelve Pages, Infinite Options. I have plans though. I think 2024 ending has proven that I’ve reached a certain equilibrium and now it’s a matter of agitating things to find a new and better steady state.
I think a lot about the word *stagnation.* Sometimes because of Haikyu. Sometimes because of Ao Ashi. Mostly insofar it has a good aural quality to it and a term that is particularly poignant to someone who thrives on repetition and iteration. Stagnation is tantamount to death. When we stop growing, what’s the point?
It’s hard for me to think past the end of the week, let alone the month/year. I’m going to run some more tabletop games. I’m going to New York for Crossword Con II. I’m going to go Denver and get a matching tattoo with a friend. I’m going to help out with SLICE. I’m going to make an escape room again (I am actually actively in the process of designing the new escape room) and probably host Friendsgiving again. Vague notions of the future. Just formed enough to grasp. Nothing grand. Simple things.
But there is also a power to be found in simplicity.
And maybe that’s the big lesson of 2024. Power can be this grand, complex thing, but it can also just as easily… not be.
I guess if I do have a resolution, it is not one for the new year, but one I stake every day. To be more myself. To continually reinvent myself. Incrementally find a better way forward. Campfire rules, y’know?
Be better than the day before.
Onto the next one. See you in 2025.