On Rest and Udder Cream
I recently discovered Bag Balm and have started treating my face like a pair of udders. I did a Google search to see where I could and couldn’t put it, and apparently there is no limit. I learned from a fairly unvetted news source that Raquel Welch swears by it, and I am going to take that and absorb it. This discovery has also come at a time where I am realizing I should get out more.
I have a hard time resting or giving myself permission to rest. I say this without judgment but: it's fucking stupid. And while the emotionally mature part of myself knows that rest is, in fact, something very cool and necessary, there is a pervasive softcore guilt that loves to hang out with me when I actively choose ease.
I had big plans to be social this weekend. But I am tired. My boyfriend let me stay at his apartment while he is away and I have been doing absolutely nothing. I have entered the cave and I have seen the goblin within it (me, it is me). It has honestly been incredible. But it has honestly also been full of guilt.
I talked to a friend about longevity recently, especially as it pertains to being creative. I am learning that there is no rush (there is a huge rush, but there also isn’t one). It’s okay to do things well and on my own terms in my own time while understanding the consequences (good, bad, neutral) of that. Like, it’s okay to do nothing, and its actually the best thing you can do for yourself sometimes. Sometimes we have to smear Bag Balm on our face and pretend that it is doing something that looks like restoration.
I took a dance class years ago where we were instructed to balance a bunch of rose petals on our head while we danced—the dance of life, the teacher said. Eventually we were instructed to allow them to fall, and it was genuinely really sad. There was a mourning to it, but the second they fell, there was also a great joy. Once they had fallen, we were instructed to pick them back up, place them on our heads or give them away. It was fun. I remembered this when I began thinking about urgency and rest. We can’t be tense all of the time or we miss out on the fact that we’re in the middle of a dance class that we will continue for some time until we realize it’s maybe a cult and we stop.
But there’s a lesson in there. And this balm is reminding me of it.
As I am resting, I am also doing little things that make me laugh. Like making little memes with my little Photoshop on my little edibles. And I am feeling very lucky that I get to present a show next week where I get to talk to other silly people about the internet.
It’s called ADMIN REVEAL and its part of the Exponential Festival 2023. There are still some very limited tickets left, so snag them, girlies. If price is an issue, email me.
May your hands, your head and your heels be covered in balm, now and always xx
ADMIN REVEAL – two casual evenings with a rotating cast of internet and IRL artists, musicians, comedians and writers, January 27th and 28th at The Brick.
FRIDAY, JAN. 27:
@namegener8r
@kamikazejones_ x @wussymag
@underscore_unofficial
@Sexualgumby x @artandlaborpod
SATURDAY, JAN. 28:
@writerlymemes
@lisaspliffson
@thefenserf
@whiting_jesse