On Knowing and Not Knowing and Rich People and Not Rich People!
I’m in the thick of my first bout with Covid. Apparently isolation can be pretty, uh, isolating. I’m going on 5 days resting in my apartment, and I am absolutely losing it, girlies.
I was given some time away from work, which I’ve spent sleeping, mostly. It’s also given me a bit of time to think, which is not always great when you have this much space to do it.
I’ll be performing next week, and I’ve been spending a good chunk of this time thinking on that. For this performance, I proposed sharing everything I know, both with words and non-verbally (through the power of DANCE, mama). It was something that seemed kind of funny to suggest, but the more I’ve spent time with it, the more I realize what I do and do not know. AND IT AIN’T A LOT.
I am trying not to universalize experiences or knowledges, because not everything I experience and know is going to align with everyone’s individual interpretations of things. I get that. Though I have been spending time with my “knowings” that don’t always have an easy outlet for sharing (I taught someone how to use a circuit breaker the other day? I did not know that people did not know how to do that…until I did).
Maybe these knowings shed light on a certain way of living or a culture or a skillset that not everyone has? Maybe more people wish they had space to say: I don’t know and I would like to know. Or: I know, and you need to shut up and listen while I teach you (respectfully).
I think we have a lot to learn from other people, but we don’t always have the tools or the pathways to receive that knowledge, you know? Like, you can’t start every interaction listing off the things you do and do not know how to do. Though I think that MIGHT BE HELPFUL SOMETIMES.
Cultural, class, geographic, gender, age, race barriers contribute to knowledge divides, but I think a lot of it is also ego. We live in a culture that values productivity so deeply that being “wrong” is often perceived as shameful. I think we also have gross devaluing of lived experiences over academic knowledge. Why is one deemed more valid than the other?
An article in the NY Times (and a few other less awful places) came out recently about how poor people who have rich friends end up increasing their wealth by about 20% more than those who don’t. And I thought: god damnit, I have to be friends with rich people.
I mean, it makes sense. Knowledge, especially around wealth (how to get it, keep it, stretch it), is tightly gate kept between classes. The more you’re immersed around people who have more, the more you know how they do it and what they do with it.
Growing up very working class, I often fantasized about what the lives of rich people were like. As I grew up and got to meet more of them out in the real world, I realized that a lot of those fantasies just aren’t true. Some of these people are much, much worse than I thought. Others are just kind of unsure how to bridge the class gap themselves. I am not simping for the rich, but I do think they should be sharing knowledge first and foremost (and money). And I wish there was more facilitated space for that, more regularly.
A few months ago on Instagram, I posted a question sticker in my stories asking people what they do and how much they make a year. Some people were very transparent—many low-earning artists or working-class people balancing many gigs. Some people seemed to think they were struggling while making nearly $200k, mostly because I don’t think they knew anyone who made much less than that. And then there were people who were a little too embarrassed to say how much they make… usually because it was high.
I got a few private messages from people telling me how helpful it was to see what other people were making and doing, because it wasn’t always something that came up in conversation. And I’ve been thinking a lot about the permission that comes with sharing knowledge or sharing when you don’t know something.
As I get older, I want less to be right and more to be curious. What have I yet to learn? What do I know that can help others know more? Thinking about knowledge as a playful and ever-shifting tool rather than a monolith of absolutes. Learning should be playful, and I’m realizing that I can’t learn unless I feel safe enough to do it. And if I’m not learning, I don’t know anything. And if I don’t know anything, HOW CAN I PERFORM NEXT WEEK? Lesson: have fun, silly girlies, and learning will come. The quickest way to knowledge is to acknowledge what you don’t know. How about THAT?
Anyway, if you’d like to come to the show it’s part of a weekend long symposium (The Ivory Tower and the Open Worlds) by the CUNY PhD Theatre and Performance department practice+research ensemble at The Brick Theater. I’m performing Thursday, August 11 at 7pm, but there will be events through Sunday, August 14. Tickets are PWYC ($1-$100) here.
And on Saturday, August 13, I’m still offering free creative consulting sessions and memes as part of ABC No Rio In Exile’s Summer School at PS 122. Sign up for free here.
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