On history and my place in it and things I care about
I was born in 1988 at the height of the AIDS crisis. I don't think I actually learned about HIV and AIDS until I was maybe 6 or so, when my older cousin showed me a pamphlet from school after we picked her up one afternoon. "You can get it from kissing." This stuck with me for a while. AIDS was the first thing my mom brought up when I came out to her when I was 16.
I remember visiting Texas one Christmas not too long ago. My mom saw me taking a blue pill, PrEP. I explained what they were and she panicked. "Shawn, are you sick?" This was frustrating, but it led to a nearly hour and half long conversation around what modern medicine means, what undetectability is, and what it's like to grow up with a huge number of my queer ancestors lost to a virus that was ravaging the world when I was learning how to walk, a virus still with us, a history I wish I had learned sooner.
I've learned a lot since I left Texas. I encounter many people who, today, don't know much about HIV/AIDS or who still carry a deep stigma around the virus. It's nice to be more informed now, to have conversations and to share information.
For a long time now, I've wanted to connect with older queer generations, especially learning histories of what was lost, what they have to share, as a way to maybe make sense of this dense loss that my generation feels. We weren't in the thick of it, but we can still feel it. And now we live in it, some of us living with HIV and doing just fine, others taking up the mantle of what was started in the 80s with the work of the AIDS movement.
In November, I started working for Visual AIDS, an organization started in 1988, the originator of the Red Ribbon and Day With(out) Art, and a place that has become a meaningful part of my everyday life. I am making intergenerational connections, I am seeing the impact our programs have on women living with HIV, I am meeting people thriving and aging with HIV who are teaching me a lot, and I feel like I am a part of a younger generation stewarding legacies of those lost and those still living via the Visual AIDS Archive, The Body As an Archive, and direct support for artists living with HIV.
I try to shy away from mixing my work life with my personal life, but the work I am doing feels important and somewhere in-between these two spaces. In the short time I've been at Visual AIDS, I have heard directly from the artists and people we work with about how deeply our work matters to them. Many of them have been unrecognized for decades because of stigma and gatekeeping, and in 2023, as we see hateful rhetoric ramp up even more, this still rings true. AIDS isn't over, truly. HIV criminalization is still rampant in the United States and globally, stigma still exists, people are still contracting HIV, access to medication is still an issue 40 years into the epidemic, artists who were lost in the 80s are barely getting their due credit now. And it is a great honor to feel like I am a small part in helping maintain these legacies and stewarding a more equitable world for people I love dearly who happen to be living with HIV as well as the ancestors I never got to meet.
I believe it's up to younger generations to keep these histories alive. Artists and culture makers were at the heart of record keeping and activism since the early days of the AIDS crisis, and Visual AIDS was and remains a central part of that history. Our Archive is an incredible resource, and I am so proud to help support it.
As part of my work, I am stewarding new initiatives for younger people and those unfamiliar with our work to connect to Visual AIDS and become supporters. I have the huge honor of organizing our first annual Visual AIDS Pride Benefit Party on June 15 at one of my favorite places in NYC, C'mon Everybody. I am beyond excited that one of my literal heroes Christeene (!) is headlining, alongside two darling friends, Morgan Bassichis and Constantine Jones, with the incredible Julie J and That Matt keeping the dance floor alive.
Shawn, that's cool... what do you want? It would be great to see you there. My hope is to raise some money for the organization, but most importantly connect more people to the work and the legacy. Tickets are slightly higher than what you might usually pay at C'mon, but all proceeds support our work. If you can swing the $35, please join us! If that's too steep, email me and I will work something out to help you get there without any stress.
And if you won't be in New York in June, I'm asking you to consider a donation to support this work and help cover the cost of someone who might not be able to afford a ticket. Our donors range from $5-$20,000, and anything truly means a lot. Our goal for the party is $10k, and every bit helps.
Thanks for reading these thoughts and for generally being there in the ether with me. I hope to connect soon through Visual AIDS or through LIFE xx
How to support:
Buy tickets to the Pride party here. All tickets are tax-deductible.
Donate directly to Visual AIDS here.
Sign up for the Visual AIDS mailing list here
Share the event with others
Check out what VA is up in the coming months here
xxooxxoo