What I Learned in January 2023
tl;dr: we shouldn't always get what we want
A round up of the month’s lessons and a recap of reflections ~ possibly more for me than for readers, but I always learn a lot from others’ reflections, so take what you will.
As with many of my lessons learned at age 42, many of these are re-learned or reminders of lessons learned in the past, since I’m seeing now that perhaps that’s how life is ~ and that novelty isn’t necessarily something to be sought. My sister and I joked (kind of but for real) that all we want for 2023 is for no horrible things to happen that we had never even dreamed of before, since that’s what the past few years were full of. Perhaps the mundane is a gift? Oh, it’s just a snowstorm with no electricity? THANK GODDESS, we know how to do that!
Things we wish and hope for sometimes aren’t actually what we need ~ and feeling a sense of relief when we don’t get them is a sign that things worked out the way they were supposed to. Maybe more on this in the future? Not ready to share yet.
I actually like doing some things I profess to hate ~ such as working at a kids’ basketball tournament. Every time I force myself to sign up to work these things ~ soccer concessions, admission table at basketball tournaments, etc ~ the story I tell myself ahead of time is that I hate it and don’t want to do it and would rather be at home. But when I’m there, I am buoyed by the sense of community and socialization. Perhaps I’ll remember this next time and skip the feeling of dread? We shall see!
What made me love working at places in the past was the feeling of community, shared struggles / successes, and adult relationships. I’m now realizing that not having those at my current (huge) school is causing a lot of my professional discontent right now. I’m pondering on solutions and have tried a few things such as starting conversations with people I don’t know, asking new people for advice, etc, but it’s flat out just HARD for me in a new-ish big school with a tiny department and a schedule that doesn’t allow for socializing.
After years of watching almost zero TV or movies, sinking into a show with my husband and 17 yo has been so much fun. I really want to make more time for shared watching this year. We started watching Yellowstone at Thanksgiving and only have time for 1 or 2 episodes every weekend due to J and M’s work schedules, but we’re now mid-season 2. I’m fully aware of the tension and controversy surrounding the show, but it was a perfect pick that all 3 of us were interested in AND available on DVD at the library and Paramount Network replayed all of the seasons at the end of December so we were finally able to record it. Due to our rural location, we have to have satellite internet and can’t stream media except on our phones ~ satellite TV is our only watching choice really. If you have *thoughts* about Yellowstone’s place in society (as I do!) definitely check out this piece.
And lastly, I learned that I’m finally okay with “failing” to follow through on a goal. I wrote earlier about Adriene’s 30 Days of Yoga and my dedication to staying on track with it this year, but nope. My body doesn’t want the fast pace or “workouty” style of many of the practices right now. What I have been loving lately is setting the breathing bubble on the Calm app and flowing through movements that my body wants to do while breathing in time with the bubble. I’m trusting my body and rejecting workout culture, which I have an extremely conflicted and traumatic relationship with. Maybe I have learned (finally?) to be done with setting goals like this? Maybe? Someone kick me if I say I’m going to do it again!
January was a tumultuous mental month ~ here’s to February being a bit more tranquil!
~ Katy
Thanks for stopping by!
