Barry the Rat
Do you remember Barry the Rat? He got famous in the early days of Youtube. It was this guy called Paul Allen who had a puppet of a rat, which he used for...
Only the Crows Know
A red wool mitten on a fencepost. Someone has placed it there so it might be reunited with its twin. The next time you walk down the path, it's gone. Another...
Temirtau (The ghosts of Google Maps)
Sometimes when I can’t sleep, unable to sleep, I think about how large the universe is. The numbers mean nothing. This planet orbits one star out of hundreds...
Lovecraft in Brighton
Lovecraft and I stroll the Brighton promenade. We pass the skeleton of the West Pier, the blackened iron bones left behind when it was torched. We come to...
Eurydice in the Widow Hotel
This is her kingdom. She gives expensive hotel rooms the feeling of the apartments she grew up in. Someone slumbers on the unmade bed, fully dressed. Make-up...
Eat At Lovecraft's
Last week, Dan from Peakrill Press launched the Kickstarter for True Clown Stories, my book of bleakly funny writing about clowns. As well as my stories, it...
A Bad Place to Stick Your Hand (+Kickstarter Launch!)
The Kickstarter for True Clown Stories is now live! See below for detailsA Bad Place to Stick Your HandI was supposed to meet my family a couple of hours...
Hidden Tracks (+ Kickstarter news)
The idea that Henry would somehow save up to visit America had seemed ridiculous. But he set aside his wages from cooking burgers at Uncle Sam’s until he had...
Swedish Pizza: Boet
I’d never have found the place by myself, but that’s why I had a guide. It was in a row of strip-mall shops surrounded by building sites for new bungalows....
Shivers
Not all mysteries make their way to the Internet, to be dissected on message-boards and podcasts. You might have caught mentions of what happened to the...
Wabi sabi
The UK's growth in wall-space does not keep pace with the production of new art, particularly with so few new houses being built. Each framing shop turns out...
The Thing in the Churchyard
Before the spade reached six feet, Arnie found a coffin that wasn’t supposed to be there, crudely made and old. Uncovering it turned a two-cigarette job into...
Don't Just Bury Your Trauma
I remember a pub on the A272 where one of the bars was an ossuary. The pub was called Professor Hound, and I only went a couple of times with a friend who...
The Things We Don't Talk About
My father talks about camels because they’re not the approaching fires. He tells me about dogs he owned as a boy, because they’re not the abandoned pets...
Staying in Touch
The game started when they were teenagers: what’s the worst place to take a selfie?She sent the first one, a holiday snap from Ground Zero. In reply, that...
In the Night Supermarket
Ellen always comes to the supermarket after two a.m., when it’s quiet. She used to have terrible nightmares but late-night shopping keeps them away.The...
Desire Lines
I once knew a man who was haunted by three trees. He lived on the edge of the village where I grew up and beyond his house was nothing but fields and woods...
Long Term Storage
Uncle Tommy referred to it as his 'box of clowns'. It was actually a padlocked shipping container in his yard, with holes punched in the sides for air.We let...
The Remains of Mr Pootles
“He was a good clown,” said Grimshire, raising a beer bottle. He swigged from it even though it was empty.“Not sure that’s much of a comfort to him now,”...
A Journey Around the Room
We’re the last two people awake at Laura’s party. Two other guests are crashed out on the sofa but otherwise it’s just me and Lydia working our way through...