Do You Want to Stop Being Lonely? 

the words are on a sticker on a lamppost, and lucy faithful does want to stop being lonely. she dares not photograph it, in case someone sees her, but comes back the next morning when only the street sweepers are about. she never calls the number.

lucy faithful thinks she must be the loneliest person with a million followers. she only has those followers because her friend was a famous youtuber. lucy posts images of her outfits, rarely showing herself above the neck, yet each post is greeted by a flurry of responses. some compliments, some insults, others advertising their own accounts, an increasing number of evangelising christians. 

sometimes lucy faithful types the words “I’m lonely” into her instagram alongside a picture of her flat - either the side of it she never shows in her posts, or her sad kitchen with its disapproving houseplants. she considers pressing the button, laying bare her deepest secret, giving the truth to all those followers. her bed has only one set of pillows since she realised there was no point having two. she is obsessed with her loneliness. it’s like a wound, like a cracked tooth she can’t stop tonguing, but she dare not tell anyone.

if all the lonely people came together, loneliness would be ended in a moment. but that’s the problem with loneliness - it scares people, and you need to keep it a secret. but maybe being lonely is like being blackmailed, and if you tell everyone it loses its power over you. but it’s just as possible that people will shun her for being lonely. 

she has the number from the advert on her phone and having it feels a little like hope. she doesn’t want to call the number and risk that hope being crushed.

Background

I wrote this back in January. This might be part of a project for the new year, or it might be its own thing. I’ve a notebook somewhere that has, written in longhand, the story of what happens when lucy calls the number.

I like the lowercase here, although it was a pain to stop the autocorrect 'fixing' it. I think it sets a particular mood for the story, but maybe other people find it annoying.

I often used to feel lonely when I lived in Brighton, despite having lots of friends. Then I moved to a small town where I know very few people and haven’t felt lonely since. I’m not sure I understand this.