I hold one end of the tinsel and you have the other as we run towards our target. We wrap it round their neck, and I duck under your end as we cross. The zombie moves slowly, moaning in confusion, and we take care to stay out of its reach.

Most of the zombies patrol the promenade but there’s always a few in Churchill Square. We sneak in through bare-shelved Borders, whose books were handed out to the survivors when the shops closed. In the middle of the hallways, away from the shopfronts, you’re safe.

Adding the Santa hat is tricky. I stand in front of the zombie and call it. As it lumbers forwards, you come up behind and drop the hat on its head. I fling a handful of glitter to finish the job and we look for another.

This is the third year we’ve decorated the zombies. Of course, no-one wants to take these decorations down after Christmas – that’s asking for trouble – so all through summer the zombies wear tinsel and Santa hats. It’s always Christmas in Brighton.

Background

Months and months ago, I had the idea of making an advent calendar with a story for each day. And then I decided that I produce do this as a physical object. I asked designer Emma Charleston for help and had my stories printed on hundreds of A5 sheets which then needed to be folded and stickered.

It was a lot more work than I’d intended, but I produced a few dozen physical advent calendars which were posted out to friends. I’m still amazed that I managed to do it, and I’m also considering doing this again next year.

This story was actually quite an old one, which you can tell because it mentions Borders. This bookshops closed in 2009 in the UK. Their Churchill Square shop is now Urban Outfitters.

Recommendations

Sometimes, I find Christmas too cloying. When that happens, I take refuge in horror films. And then there’s Silent Night, which is the bleakest Christmas movie that it would be possible to make.

The film follows a group of friends celebrating one last Christmas before the world ends. This would be maudlin were the people in question not so dreadful. They are cruel to each other, despite the bonds of family and friendship; the children are spoiled. The film never lets up, twisting the knife as things get more and more awful. There’s a brilliant appearance from Lily-Rose Depp, who comes to the gathering as an outsider in a relationship with a much older man.

An extra layer of horror comes from the government information films. While Silent Night was filmed before the pandemic, it captures the tone official tone the British government took in that period. These films lead us towards the film’s conclusion, which takes a grim turn in an already-dark film.

I will be watching Silent Night again over the holiday season, but I will probably pick an occasion when I’m the only one about.