The Seagull Feast

Due to its illegality, invitations to the Seagull Feast are rare and few people discuss the event. Hosted in a Brighton and Hove celebrity's rooftop garden, each year a noted chef is hired to do their best with the city's most famous wildlife. The birds are kept in quarantine for some weeks beforehand to ensure that they are disease-free. The setting and guest-list are as amazing as the food.

Basement Boat

Many have heard of Brighton's tunnels but few gain access to the full system, which connect the basements of many buildings in the Lanes. In one of these a massive boat is being built by several hotel night-staff, inspired by the Jim Jarmusch movie Ghost Dog. The labour began as a way of filling long nights when little was happening. The boat's subterranean mooring is well-concealed and those who know about it will deny its existence. But persistence and a modest bribe can sometimes be successful. Note that any attempt to take photographs will be frowned upon by the boat's keepers.

The Umbrella Festival

The gales and breezes of Brighton and Hove are notorious for destroying umbrellas – on any rainy day one can see the skeletons of broken rainshades stuffed into rubbish bins. During the town's Regency peak, Ratchett & Evermore, a firm of London umbrellamongers, would come to the town to test out their latest wares. This became something of an occasion and, even now, on the second Sunday in March, the Kemptown seafront is decorated with people selling brightly coloured umbrellas. While the collector's pieces will be beyond the pocket of all but the most serious enthusiast, many charming bargains can be picked up.

Background

Back when I didn’t do much with my writing, I occasionally produced tiny booklets, a little smaller than A7 size, and posted them out in little envelopes.

The entries above were from a tiny and unreliable tourist guide I made one bank holiday weekend. It’s time consuming to do all the cutting, folding, glueing and packing, but they were fun.

Recommendations

Being back in Brighton last week was fun. I’d been away for 10 months. I stayed in the North Laine and it felt like a thriving tourist hotspot. It’s very different to the weird run-down place I arrived at in the 90s, but it felt joyful and strange in a way it hadn’t for years. So, here’s an actual tourist guide to some of the fun things I found:

• It was good to see a couple of new bookshops - Afrori Books, specialising in black authors, and The Last Bookshop. I regret not picking up the cheap Catherine Lacey book in the latter.

• The vegan fudge shop on Bond Street was very friendly, almost forcing people to take the free samples - which were delicious. More regrets there, from not buying some of the sherbert lemon flavour.

• I had my friend Kitty take me into the Gashapon shop, as I had no context for it and thought she could explain it to me. I love that places like this exist.

• Most of my meals on the trip were taken at La Choza, my favourite restaurant in the world. Each time, I ordered the vegan sweet potato burrito with the naga sauce. I miss it already.